Bones frowned as he stabbed at his PADD like he wanted to kill it. “What Vulcan kid?”
“Well. How should I know? I told you about it.”
Bones eyed him. “You did? What? You have another Vulcan stalker?”
“Spock wasn’t stalker,” Jim protested. “Far from it.” Jim felt his face heat.
“Yeah, yeah. He ghosted you after you slept together.”
“Be quiet. It wasn’t like that.”
Bones snorted. “It was exactly like that. Who’s this kid?”
“How should I know? He seems familiar but I don’t know him. It’s not like I know a bunch of Vulcans. Only the one.”
“Who ran like hell as soon as he was done with you,” Bones said, undiplomatically. “Eh. I’d ignore the kid. Probably just nosey, like most children. He’ll get bored eventually and start staring at someone else.”
Jim sighed. ”Yeah you’re probably right. And now I really need to get to class. See you later, Bones.”
“Mm hmm.” Bones was already back to trying to kill his PADD.
Spock looked up from his study of their lunch bill when his son, Sanok, spoke.
Fortunately, Sanok wasn’t pointing at anyone inappropriately, but because he was not, he was not sure who or what his son was pointing at.
They were seated in the outdoor patio area of a café not far from Starfleet Academy where Spock taught after graduating with top honors. He was waiting for a ship assignment eventually, but for the moment he was satisfied with teaching as it allowed him time to spend with his son.
Sanok would not be allowed on the starship and would then be transferred to the care of Spock’s parents until his assignment had been concluded. Sanok’s mother had died in a lab explosion when the boy was only two. He was now six.
“That one?”
“At five o’clock on the right.”
Spock looked and nearly groaned out loud in a very unVulcan like way.
“Not this again.”
“You have expressed that your preference in a future mate should be male. Given that Grandfather chose a Human mate in Grandmother, it stands to reason that you may also have this peculiarity. It might explain the failure of your marriage to my late mother.”
Spock couldn’t exactly deny that the Human male Sanok had pointed out was indeed an extremely attractive man. One Spock was familiar with.
He could not tell Sanok how or why.
“He appears to be a cadet based on his uniform, so you would have a career interest in common.”
Since Sanok wouldn’t be able to be with Spock, he had decided it was his job to find his father a mate and companion.
“Yes, I know him.”
“You do?” Sanok asked, his tone becoming eager. “Then it will be unnecessary to arrange an accidental first meeting.”
“Completely unnecessary,” Spock agreed. “Now we should be on our way.”
“What is his name?” Sanok asked as he dutifully rose from his seat at the table.
Jim smiled faintly. “About time. Anything I need to know?”
“Nah. What’s up, Jim?” McCoy put his PADD in a nearby drawer. “You here for a reason or just showing up to annoy me?”
“I have a reason. Getting to annoy you is just an extra benefit.”
“Mmm. Coffee?”
He made his way to the replicator so Jim followed him.
“Yeah. Extra cream.”
“I know,” Bones grumbled.
“Do you know why Spock and Uhura broke up?”
“Probably seemed logical.” He handed the coffee to Jim and then made himself one. “Not really sure how she put up with him that long. I know before it was when he was going to go to the colony.”
“Right. This time, I guess, he confessed or whatever that he had feelings for someone else.”
McCoy took a swallow of coffee. “Is that right? He has feelings?”
“Bones.”
Bones shrugged. “Can’t help but wonder. They were together, what, a hundred years, and he never did fully commit.”
Jim frowned. “Maybe she didn’t either. It doesn’t have to be all Spock’s fault.”
“I suppose. Do you have a point, Jim, or did you just come here to gossip?”
Jim’s gaze narrowed. “About as much point as you do when you show up uninvited to the bridge.”
His friend smirked. “Touche. All right. Continue.”
“He said it was a he.”
“What was a he?”
“The one he has feelings for.”
Bones got a strange look then. Well, stranger then Bones usually looked, which was strange.
“Did he now? How interesting.”
Jim nodded. “I thought so.” He sipped his own coffee. “Any ideas who? HE wouldn’t tell me. Said I could figure it out.”
“And you haven’t?”
“No. It’s driving me a bit crazy,” Jim admitted. “So? No ideas?”
“Well, I do have an idea, but I’m afraid I have to get back to work.”
“Huh? What?”
“I’m running a sickbay here, Jim.”
“I have to agree with Spock. Figure it out.”
Jim huffed. “Fine. You’re as annoying as he is.”
“I’m sure.” Bones grinned and padded Jim’s arm. “Good luck.”
Jim’s gaze flew to his. “What exactly are you imagining you’re saying?”
Spock glanced around the observation deck. “I am not certain this is the place for this kind of conversation. Any moment someone else could come and…may we adjourn to either my quarters or yours?”
“Spock—”
“Please.” Spock straightened. “I ask that I am given the chance you gave my counterpart from that universe.”
Jim looked heavenward, but then nodded. “Yours then. I can leave then if necessary.”
Spock tried not to let that sharp comment sting but it was difficult. Still he took some relief in Jim’s ready agreement.
They didn’t speak as they left the observation deck and headed to the turbolift that would talk them to deck with officer quarters.
They bypassed the door to Jim’s and went right to Spock’s. He entered his access code and the door opened to let them inside.
Jim preceded Spock inside, but the moment the door closed he turned to face Spock, arms crossed in front of his chest in a clear defensive matter.
The sound of pleading in his own voice disturbed him.
“Help me to understand. Why would you…why would you choose intimacy with him?”
“God.” Jim’s expression crumbled and for a moment, Spock feared his captain would cry. How would Spock handle such a thing if he did?
“Jim—”
“Because he wanted me.”
“There are many who want you,” Spock pointed out.
“I can’t believe I have to spell this out. He was a replacement for the one I really wanted.”
Spock took a step back. “Me?”
Jim laughed. “Yeah. Stupid, right? So incredibly stupid.”
“You never said. Never gave any indication that you thought of me in any such way.”
“Was I supposed to? You were with Uhura! For years. How exactly did you expect me to tell you? And I don’t go after someone else’s partner.”
Spock stared, taking that in. Analyzing it. “But you did precisely that with the other Spock if he was with his captain.”
This time tear drops appeared on the edge of Jim’s eyes and Spock felt instant remorse.
“Yeah, you got me there. It was a moment of weakness. The object of my every dream wanted me with so much intensity I couldn’t resist. And now I’m dealing with the fallout from that.”
“Fallout?”
“Having something for a brief time that I don’t actually have. I’m here and he’s there, back presumably with his captain. And here? I’m alone.”
And just like that, as though their conversation was over and so many things were left unsaid, Jim made to move past him.
Before he allowed himself to think, Spock reached out and grabbed Jim’s wrist to prevent him from leaving.
Something curled in Spock’s stomach, ugly and fluttery and painful. It rose from there and caused a dull pain in his side where his heartbeat.
“I…do not understand.” He was flustered and repeating himself but his logical brain could not compute.
“I know you don’t understand!”
And just like that the cheerful pretense Kirk had been displaying vanished as though it had never been there. Instead there was angry fire in his blue eyes.
“And that’s exactly the problem, Spock. You just never get it.”
“Jim, I—”
“You were with Uhura for years—”
“We are not together anymore,” Spock interrupts.
“Yeah you’ve been broken up for five minutes,” Jim said, sarcastically. “You were together for years, Spock. Years. And you never moved forward. Never bonded. Never married. You were satisfied with…I don’t even know what you were satisfied with. Your commitment to not commit.”
“Why are you so angry? You were explaining what happened in the alternate universe with my counterpart.”
Jim sighed heavily and turned away. “In that universe Spock loves his captain. When I returned from the mission, he thought I was his captain. As soon as I got to the captain’s quarters, Spock was all over me.”
“He forced himself on you?”
“No! I wanted it. He was full of passion and heat and was so hungry for me. It was intoxicating. I couldn’t get enough.”
Each word was like a lash against Spock’s heart.
“When he finally realized I was not his captain, it didn’t matter to either of us. We continued being together. Neither of us knew if I would come back here or his Kirk would return there, so we continued with each other, and he protected me from the reality of all that.”
Jim turned around to face him once more.
“It was the most amazing experience of my life.”
Spock blinked. He thought he might just vomit.
“It should have been with you,” Jim whispered hoarsely. “But I knew it never would be.”
He’d almost called out Jim, but Spock was still somewhat unsure how far their friendship had progressed and though Kirk had once or twice told Spock it was fine to use his first name, and Spock had even done so a few times, there was something about Jim’s stance as he stood by the observation window that made him abort and switch to captain.
Still Jim turned to him with a warm, welcoming smile.
“Is there a problem with the ship, Mr. Spock?”
It was said cheerfully yet Spock detected an edge behind it. It was perplexing and he couldn’t have explained why it seemed strange.
“Negative. It was for a more personal matter that I sought you out.”
“Yeah?” He stepped over slightly to allow Spock to stand beside him. “I’ve heard you pretty much threw our counterparts right in the brig the minute they beamed aboard.”
“It was not as quickly as that, but it did not take long. They were very confused by what they encountered and unlike your party found themselves unable to adapt to their new surroundings. It took them quite a long time to guess they were no longer in the universe they had known.”
Kirk nodded. “I’m sure it was a shock considering what they were used to.”
“And yet you kept your cool and managed to do a very good job of blending in there.”
“Mm. I think it’s easier to play barbaric than civilized.”
“You may be correct.”
His captain smiled. “Was there anything else?”
Spock felt confused. He blew out a long breath. “None of that was of a personal nature,” he said carefully.
“No?” Kirk looked genuinely quizzical and that made two of them. “What then? You need a leave or something?”
“A leave? I do not. This does not concern me personally, but rather you.”
Kirk laughed then. “Me?”
“You have not said much about your experience in the other universe. I wished to know if you need…if there is someone you would like to confide in regarding your experience.”
Kirk didn’t respond for a long time and in fact he had turned away from Spock to gaze out at the stars.
“If you suffered abuse—”
“I didn’t.” The words were a soft whisper. “It wasn’t like that at all.”
“What was it like? The others implied the Terran Empire was ruthless and brutal.”
“Yes, it was. As far as I could tell, the Terran Empire is ruled by cruel and violent Humans who desire power above all things. Life means nothing to them. Not their own nor anyone else’s.”
“But you did not experience this firsthand?”
“I might have.”
“You…might have?”
“But he protected me.”
Spock frowned. “Who? I do not understand, Captain.”
Jim gave him a ghost of a smile and shook his head. “I know you don’t. And that’s why I haven’t said anything. In that universe, there never was a Nyota. Not for him.”
Spock tilted his head.
“Spock protected me in that universe. We were lovers.”
*While I hope to finish this little story this week, please note that I will be gone Thursday-Sunday for my nephew’s Vegas wedding so there are simply no guarantees. If it’s not, you can expect it to be next week. *
It had been two days since Captain Kirk, Lieutenant Uhura, Commander Scott, and Doctor McCoy had returned from the Empire ruled Mirror Universe.
Two days since Spock had sent the oddly barbaric versions of those same officers back to that universe after determining they were not where they should be.
Spock had learned from Nyota about the atrocities that were the norm for that universe. Mister Scott had shuddered every time he was asked questions about it. Leonard had mentioned he’d likely have nightmare from some of what he’d seen.
Kirk said nothing.
Even Leonard had mumbled something about ‘Jim being radio silent’ and some memory of Earth’ history flashed through Spock’s mind, but he could not quite place the reference.
For those two days, Spock gave him space. Unlike the others, Kirk was relaxed and easy going. He answered questions on every other subject readily and efficiently. He did not radiate the same tension and unease the others had, though admittedly theirs had all lessened and they were nearly back to normal. What passed for normal for each of them anyway.
If you were not a Kirk watcher you might not know. But they all were. They noticed.
Spock noticed most of all.
Something was not right.
He had intended to seek him out in his quarters after his shift one night only to find he was not there. And though he could wander the ship seeking Kirk’s usual spots, he found that he did not have the heart for it, so he used the computer to pinpoint that Kirk was on the observation deck.
He then also used the computer to determine Kirk was alone.
Spock had no desire to discover Kirk having time with a paramour. At present, he did not think Kirk was seeing a member of the crew, certainly not since Doctor Marcus had departed after their breakup, but Spock did not want to take any chances.
Fortunately it seemed Captain Kirk had no company.
Still Spock hesitated to disturb him.
They were building a good friendship, Spock thought. There were still parts of Jim that he did not share with Spock. He was uncertain if he shared them with anyone, even McCoy.
Spock was not sure they had the friendship the ambassador had alluded to, at least to the extent he’d had with his Kirk, but Spock believed they were back to making progress.
Progress had been stalled right around the time they’d been confronted by Krall and Altamid. When Spock had intended to resign to go to New Vulcan and Kirk had applied for a command position on Yorktown.
Spock did not know what caused the rift between them, but he’d felt it.
Since they had returned to the repaired and rebuilt Enterprise, their friendship had seemed to strengthen.
Until Jim had gone to the mirror universe.
But the only way to learn the truth was to ask his captain to explain just what he had experienced in that universe. So he went to the observation deck to find Kirk.
“The hell I’m not,” Jim insisted to Bones, who had grabbed onto him to prevent him from going into the farmhouse after the Klingon.
“I’m your doctor and I forbid it. Now I know Spock did his mumbo jumbo to your head and now you mostly remember, but you were injected with a drug that wasn’t meant for you and you had a bad reaction. I need to thoroughly examine you back on the ship before I clear you for regular duty!”
“This is hardly normal circumstances and I need to…where’s Spock?” Jim looked around the immediate area and sure enough his husband and first office was nowhere to be seen.
But before he could panic too much, the Vulcan appeared carrying the other now unconscious Klingon.
Jim turned to Bones, giving him the stink-eye. “You deliberately distracted me while Spock went in there, didn’t you?”
“You bet I did. I meant every word too.”
“This isn’t over.”
Bones snorted. “Seems over to me. Now let’s get the other one and get back to our time. And our mess. Let’s leave theirs to them.”
Jim looked back at the farmhouse. The pumpkins and the scarecrows. A much earlier version of the same house he had grown up in.
He suddenly felt such sorrow it nearly brought him to his knees. This had been a happy place once.
“Jim?” Spock spoke softly.
“Yeah, I’m coming.”
****
“This is the place?”
“So it would seem.”
Jim eyed Spock. “How do we do that with twiddle dee and dum here? Do we have to go through all five us at once? How is that going to work?”
“I am fairly certain I can carry them through with me, you two just need to keep up.” Spock sounded amused. Jim was anything but.
“Ha ha.”
“Can we speed this up?” Bones asked. “I’m getting nervous. I don’t want this thing to close on us so we can’t go back.”
“Okay, okay. You’re such a weenie,” Jim teased.
“Just call me Doctor…you know what? Never mind. You totally would.”
“Ready?” Spock asked.
“Wait! I can’t leave.”
Bones and Spock gaped at him.
“Not until I find out who shot JR.”
“It was Kristin,” Spock said calmly.
“Kristin? Are you sure?”
“Who’s Kristin?” Bones asked. “Who the hell is JR?”
“Yes, Kristin. Let’s go, Captain.”
“I can’t believe it. I mean I guess it makes some sort of sense,” Jim said, then he said, “Go!”
A moment later they ran back out of the Guardian of Forever.
But there were only three of them. Spock, Bones and Jim.
“Damn! The Klingons!”
“Fear Not,” the booming mechanical voice of the Guardian spoke. “The Klingons have been returned to their Bird of Prey in their sector. They will have no memory of their time in Earth Nineteen Eighty.”
“Are you sure?” Jim asked.
“Yes, Captain Kirk. When you return to your ship, you too will have no memory from your time there. We will see to that.”
“And did I change history? Did they? My ancestor…James Kirk…”
“He is once more alive in Riverside at the farmhouse in 1980.”
That made Jim happy.
“Thanks. Is he okay?”
“He is in good health and has no recollection of any adverse events.”
“You mean of being dead?” Jim asked, dryly. “Did they do that?”
“Your appearance necessitated his temporary removal. Had you remained, he would have ceased to exist as he was known.” There was a long pause. “As would many others. You are responsible for the lives of millions having been saved, Captain Kirk. Do not take that lightly.”
“I don’t.”
“Goodbye.”
And the Guadian went dark.
Still Jim lingered and after a moment he realized he and Spock were alone. Bones had gone off to the beam up point.
“Jim?”
“I’m just…in a lot of ways, I really liked living in 1980. I liked the house. Decorating for fall. The simplicity. Free of all the complications in my real life. It was…good for a while.”
Spock shook his head and drew Jim into his arms. “I am not certain you would adapt to such a life long term. You are not a sedentary sort who can spend his nights on the couch watching television.”
“But see, Spock, that’s exactly what I did. And I don’t know, for the time I was there, I really wasn’t bored.”
“It was an escape from reality that perhaps you required.” Spock tilted his head. “And Becky?”
Jim smiled. “She was a nice lady but to be honest I don’t even remember that much about her or the time I spent with her. She…never felt right. Not for me.”
“And?”
Jim kissed him. “You’re the only one who’s ever felt right.”
“I am gratified.”
For a long time they just held each other.
“There is no where I would not go to retrieve thee,” Spock said softly in Vulcan.
“I know.” Jim briefly touched their foreheads together.
“Shall we?”
“Mm. Still it would have been nice to remember all that happened there. It’s already fading though.”
“Indeed.”
They started walking away from the Guardian.
“I don’t think she’s right for him either.”
“Becky?”
“Uh-huh. She wants him to move to Colorado. I don’t think he should.”
Spock made a humming sound. Jim looked at him.
“You know something?”
“You are quite correct. He does not go to Colorado with Becky.”
“I knew it! That’s great.”
Spock shook his head, took Jim’s hand, and led him to where Bones stood waiting. Spock handed Jim his communicator.
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 