“Bones, that’s crazy. I’ve just started the Academy. How am I going to complete all my courses, how am I going to command a ship…how am I going to tell…”
“Spock.”
“Well, duh, but can you give me some…”
“No.” Bones nudged him. “Doorway.”
Jim turned, eyes wide, to see Spock standing in the doorway of the exam room.
“I was told you fainted and were being examined. Are you all right?” Spock rushed toward him.
“Uh.”
“T’hy’la?” When Jim did not answer at once, Spock looked to McCoy. “Doctor?”
“He’s fine, Spock. You don’t need to worry.” Bones patted Jim’s arm. “I’m going to go get you a peanut butter milkshake. Give you a chance to talk.”
Spock watched Bones go. He looked back to Jim. “What?”
First Spock had to realize there was a problem and he did not at first.
It was Wednesday and Jim tended to stay at the Academy longer on Wednesdays than Spock did. He had later classes. Spock left in early afternoon, took a leisurely stroll through the park’s nature trail, and then stopped at the local grocery mart for provisions.
This particular day he bought many special things. Cheesecake flavored ice cream, potatoes so that he could make mashed potatoes, ingredients to make the special gravy Jim liked, a special version of a book Jim liked, and balloons.
He had the balloons set up and the book wrapped.
And he was preparing to make dinner when he realized Jim was well past his time.
His attempts at locating Jim through the communication device failed. So instead he contacted Jim’s assistant.
“Oh. Yes. He left some time ago, sir. I think I saw him head into that martini bar on third.”
“Thank you.”
With a sigh, Spock pulled on his coat and left their apartment in search of his husband.
Sure enough, Jim was sitting at the bar, alone, nursing what looked like might have been his third martini, based on the empty glasses beside him.
When Spock approached, Jim gave him a tired smile. “Oh, hi, honey. I guess I’ve been here too long, huh?”
Spock took the stool next to him and waved away the bartender. “I am in the process of preparing your birthday celebration.”
Jim sighed. “Yeah. Nothing to celebrate. I mean, it’s sweet but…”
“Jim.”
“I’m old, Spock.” Jim shook his head. “Seventy.”
“The alternative…”
“I know. It’s just, when I look in the mirror now, I see an old man.”
“All I see is my beautiful wonderful husband.”
“And I do love you for that. And I’m sorry I didn’t come straight home and spoiled everything, it’s just…this student today called me an old timer.”
Spock bristled. “What?”
“Not to my face. I overheard him. His exact words was, ‘when is that old timer gonna retire’?”
“I am sorry for his unkind words.”
“They were, sure, and for a bit they really hurt, but I was him at that age, you know? I would have said something like that. And anyway, they did get me thinking.”
“About what, T’hy’la?”
“Maybe it is time to consider retiring. I’m in pretty decent shape, the Khan blood helps, but honestly my heart isn’t really in teaching anymore. You’ve gotten a bit tired of it too.”
“True.”
“What do you say, Spock? Should we retire, leave San Francisco and…”
“Where would we go?”
“New Vulcan?”
Spock put his hand over Jim’s. “Really? You would go there with me?”
Jim smiled. “I’d go anywhere with you.”
****
When they got home, making plans as they made the walk, Jim smiled when he saw all the balloons and the present.
“You didn’t have to go through all this, sweetheart.”
“I did. It is your birthday. And though you are special to me every day, I know that you like to have your favorite things. I have your ice cream, and mashed potatoes and…”
Jim kissed him. “Thank you. For everything. Agreeing to retire.”
“It will benefit me too.”
“Yeah. But I can’t wait to live the rest of our lives together, however long that is, with you on New Vulcan.”
After the Events that dealt with the Melkotians (The OK Corral one where Chekov is killed but is revived at the end of the episode). Now served, AOS Style.
Despite what probably a lot of people thought, Jim actually second and third guessed himself quite a bit. And now as he stood in Spock’s quarters, this was definitely one of those times.
“Spock, come on. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Perhaps not directly, Captain. But I was convinced since it was all an illusion by the Melkotians that Mr. Chekov would be returned to us.”
Jim rubbed his chest, where the ache over the loss of the young ensign made it frankly hard to breathe. He’d thought so too. And he had begged the Melkotians even as they informed the party they’d be sent back to the Enterprise. To no avail. Chekov was gone.
If it was anyone’s fault, it was surely Jim’s.
“Hoping that they’d have the integrity and morality to return him to us is hardly worthy of any blame on your part, Spock,” he said, gently.
Spock studied him through furrowed brows. “Nor do you bear responsibility.”
“Well.” He shrugged.
“Jim.”
“As his captain, I bear some. But ultimately, I know it was the Melkotians, Spock. I accept that, because I must.” He paused taking a deep breath. “But if there is one thing that all of this has taught me is life really is…I mean…there’s so much time we waste on nothing and I…just don’t want to do that anymore.”
Spock frowned minutely. “Captain…”
“I don’t want to go another minute without telling you that you…” He paused to gather his nerve. “You mean the world to me.”
“You are quite important to me as well.”
Jim smiled. Nodded. “Yeah. I mean, that’s great, and I know. But you mean, well our friendship…and I’m really glad about that, Spock. I am. And in the past, maybe just yesterday, I would have just gone, cool, that’s great. I’m glad we’re on the same page, but you mean more to me than anyone I’ve ever known, Spock. You aren’t just my-my best friend, though you are, and my most trusted officer, you are that, too, there’s just no one I admire more than you. Your intelligence and integrity, your will power. You’re just amazing. And I get to know you and care about you and it’s just…it’s everything.” Jim bit his lip. “Are you getting this?”
“I believe that I am.”
“Yeah?”
“And it is the same for me.”
Jim laughed, shook his head. “No. I’m trying to say I’m in love with you.”
“I know.”
“And I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable or anything and I definitely don’t expect you to…what?” Jim stared dumbfounded at Spock.
Spock arched a brow. “As I said…it is the same for me.”
“Are you saying…”
“I believe I am speaking Starfleet standard.”
Jim took a step toward Spock who took a step toward him.
“Spock.”
“Jim.”
He rushed at Spock then, who seemed to rush at him. Then they were kissing, and yeah teeth clacked together, it wasn’t exactly smooth. His fault, of course, because this was Spock and oh my God.
He laughed and pulled back, touching his fingertips to Spock’s lips, which bled a little where Jim’s tooth pierced it.
“Sorry, got a little eager.”
Spock’s lips turned upward. “I am not really complaining. I have waited a long time for that. For this.”
Spock straightened from his station as he became aware of the little huff of breath coming from the captain’s station. He became somewhat alarmed when he watched as the captain sagged deep into the chair, almost to the point he would surely fall off.
“Captain?” Spock approached out of concern.
“Uhh.” Jim kind of undulated up and gave Spock a rather incomprehensible look.
“You do not look well.”
“Gee, thanks.”
Spock withheld a sigh. “I suggest I escort you to the medbay. Your shift has ended anyway,” he pointed out.
Jim did accompany him to onto the turbolift, but once inside he acted predictably. “I’m not going to the medbay, Spock. I’m fine. Nothing that a long hot water shower won’t fix.”
“You do not look well,” he repeated.
“So you said. I know all of this is very new between us but that’s not the way to win my heart.” He was smiling crookedly. Spock assumed, to indicate he was joking. Humans were fond of joking and Jim in particular.
It was indeed new between them. Two nights ago, after a heated argument, they ended up having rather wild, intense sex. Tonight was to be their first planned date. No doubt why the captain refused to go to the medbay.
The turbolift doors opened onto the deck with their quarters and Jim got out. Spock followed. He followed Jim right into the captain’s quarters.
Jim merely glanced at him and started pulling off his uniform shirts. “I have to get a shower before our date, Spock.”
“Captain, considering you are unwell, I surmise that our date is…off.”
At that, Jim froze and frowned at him. “What? What do you mean off? This is supposed to be like the official start.”
Spock went to him and put his hands on Jim’s arms. “Jim, considering the last two night’s activities we have engaged in, I believe our official start has already come to past.”
“Yes, but…”
“Ashal-veh, my concern is for your welfare and you are not feeling well. I can plainly see.”
Jim deflated before his eyes. “I wanted it to be perfect.”
“Any time spent with you is, as far as I am concerned. If you do not wish to be subjected to the medbay, may I suggest you prepare for bed, get in, and allow me to tend to you. Doctor McCoy can make a ‘house-visit’ as they say.”
Jim blew out a breath. “I do feel kind of crappy. I’m sorry.”
“You owe me no apology. I am sorry that our plans have been postponed. However, I am pleased to be able to spend time with you anyway I can.”
Jim smiled. “You’re almost perfect.”
Spock raised a brow. “Almost?”
“Close to it.” Jim sagged against him. “You win. I’ll get into bed.”
And Jim turned to get into his pajamas, which were little more than shorts and a beat up, stained T-shirt. Once he had done so, Spock stepped forward and helped him get into bed, even fluffing up his pillows.
“You feel warm. Perhaps a fever?”
“Maybe. Are you going to be bored in here with me like this?”
Spock shook his head. “No. I will work on reports and labs. But first the doctor will come to check on you.”
“Do I have to?” Jim asked, jokingly.
“I am afraid so.” Spock brushed his fingers along Jim’s. “I will bring you tea.”
Jim
rested his hand on the round bump of his stomach. Swallowing down the bile that
rose to his throat, he sat down heavily in the chair in their home…his home…on New
Vulcan.
“Has passed away after a sudden illness.”
He said
the words out loud three times before they did anything but sit on his tongue.
It could
not be. How was he to do this? Raise a child he had never been sure if he could
handle with Spock and now…
(The Present)Six years later…
“Father.”
“Hmm?” Jim
leaned up to reach into the cabinet for the colander to drain the spaghetti he
was making for them.
“There
is a Vulcan at the door.”
Jim
frowned and dropped down flat on his feet, colander momentarily forgotten. He
turned to stare at his son, mussy dark hair, bright blue eyes and pointy ears.
“What?”
George
sighed. “Didn’t you hear the doorbell?”
“No.”
Jim turned off the heat under the boiling spaghetti. “Who is it?”
“A
Vulcan.”
“Did he
say his name?”
His son
nodded. “He said to tell you that his name is Spock and that you once served on
the Enterprise together.” George frowned. “He looks a little like those
pictures you showed me of Sa-mekh. Younger.”
“Oh.”
Jim swallowed and set the wooden spoon on the counter and walked out of the
kitchen. Sure enough standing in the front hallway of their house in San Francisco
stood his former first officer, Commander Spock. “Hey, Spock.”
Spock
tilted his head. “Jim.”
George
came close to Jim, so Jim put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Um. This is my
son with um…”
“Yes. I
surmised. He resembles you.” Spock paused. “And him.”
“Would
you, um, like to stay for dinner?”
“We’re
having spaghetti with mushroom marinara,” George said, eyeing Spock curiously.
“That
does sound appealing.”
“And
garlic bread.”
Jim
smiled. “Yes. Is Uhura with you?”
Spock
shook his head. “We are…no longer together.”
“I’m
sorry.” He exhaled quietly. “Everything all right?”
“Yes, Jim.” Spock paused again. “I…wished to see you. I hope that is okay.”
Jim
smiled. “Does that mean you’re staying for dinner?”
Spock
nodded. “It does. Thank you.”
George
stepped forward. “Want to see my toy starship?”
Spock
bent down to look at the model George offered him. “I would, indeed.”
“I’d
better put extra garlic bread on,” Jim announced. “George eats a lot.”
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 