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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

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Angst

100 Words Continuation, 03/25/2018

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“Better that than to lose Spock altogether, Bones. Look I appreciate you coming but I need to deal with this on my own and preferably alone, okay?”

Bones didn’t look at all happy about it, but he gave a sharp nod and headed for the exit. “If you need anything—”

Jim attempted a smile. “Yeah. I know. Thanks.”

After Bones left, Jim went to his terminal and decided to send his message through that instead of his PADD. He stared at it for a long time before finally typing a brief message.

I’m sorry. Never mind. Forget it.

Flash Fic Friday, May 12, 2017

Kris and I decided to do the same prompt this week for our flash fics!

This week’s prompt…A Break Up. it will conclude next week!

“You know what? If you don’t like my command decisions, Commander, you can file a report,” Jim told Spock angrily. He pulled his gold shirt on over his head.

“You are being unreasonable.” Spock’s tone was as cold as it ever got.

“And illogical too,” Jim spat.

“Yes.”

Jim fixed his shirt and then tugged at the wrists. “See these stripes here? It means I’m the Goddamn Captain. I make the decisions.”

“Even if they are clearly wrong.”

“Even when they are clearly right.” Jim headed for the door of his quarters. “I don’t have time for this crap, Mister Spock. I’m due in the transporter room in less than five minutes.” He paused at the doorway, hands on hips, as he watched Spock going through the drawers and pulling out clothes. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I am removing my belongings from your quarters,” Spock replied, his voice clipped.

A muscle jumped in Jim’s jaw. “Oh. So that’s how it’s going to be, huh?”

“Indeed.”

“Well…good! Who asked you to move your stuff here anyway?” Jim snapped.

Spock stiffened. Or got more stiff. And the blank look that fell over his face made Jim realize that he’d probably just pushed Spock too far. It was true that Jim hadn’t “officially” asked Spock, but for the last three months they’d spent all of their time in Jim’s quarters. Little by little Spock had begun to move belongings over for easier access. And in fact, his Vulcan lyre even now hung on Jim’s wall.

“You are quite correct, Captain. You did not. My error.”

Jim opened his mouth to say something. Take it back or whatever. But the words got stuck in his throat. He was still pissed. And not at all in the mood to placate Spock.

Instead he crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the wall. “So, this is it, then?”

“Clarify.” Spock stepped over to the wall where his lyre was affixed and removed it.

His chest suddenly tightened and he had to swallow a couple of times before he could say anything. It was hitting him that this was pretty damn serious. Irreparable even.

“We’re breaking up.”

He meant it to come out softly, wistfully, but somehow it came out much harsher than that. It sounded cold and heartless.

“Affirmative,” Spock replied, his tone robotic and with a note of finality that made Jim’s heart squeeze. “I have sudden clarity at how much of a mistake it was to engage in such an inappropriate and one-sided relationship as this was.”

“Inappropriate and one-sided? Wait, what?”

“You are due in the transporter room.”

“I know but—”

“Now.” Spock straightened, all his belongings were held in his arms. And there were a lot, now that Jim stood there looking at him, holding everything. Three months’ worth of a life spent together. It had been stupid for Spock to go back and forth between their quarters. Or so it had seemed. “In fact, you are two minutes past schedule.”

As if on cue, there was a boatswain’s whistle. “Scott to Captain Kirk.”

“Kirk here.”

“Landing party’s waiting, sir.”

“I’ll be right there, Mister Scott.”

Spock nodded stiffly. “I am due on the bridge. If you will excuse me, Captain.”

Jim nodded back. “Sure.”

Spock walked past him and into the corridor. Jim let door close in his own face. For longer than he should, he just stood there. He’d pushed things too far. He knew it. Pushed Spock away. But Spock had been in the wrong too. Maybe Jim overreacted. But then—

Fuck it.

It wasn’t like he’d ever expected this…whatever…with Spock to last. Of course it wasn’t going to. And anyway, this was for the best.

One-sided.

Just which side did that apply to?

Inevitable

Flash Fic Friday doesn’t start until next week, but I decided to post an old one-shot of mine to get the ball rolling. This debuted in my original One-Shot Collection way back in 2014 now.

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“I’m sorry, Spock.”

Jim looked out over the balcony at the ocean, a breeze ruffling his hair, and chilling his body. What did it matter anyway?

“I should have been able to save you.”

He closed his eyes, letting the tears squeeze out and onto his cheeks. For a moment, maybe several, he just stood there letting the tears fall. He already felt like he’d been crying for days. He thought maybe he’d be crying forever.

Opening his eyes, he stared down into the cup of Vulcan tea he held in his hands. Jesus, he didn’t think he could handle this. This was too much.

“Jim? You should come back inside. It’s freezing out there.”

“I don’t care, Bones.”

The sliding door opened all the way. “Yeah, well, as your doctor and your friend, I do care. Get your ass back inside.”

Jim sighed and drank the last sips of the tea and followed Bones into the apartment. He shielded his eyes against the lights. “Does it have to be so fucking bright in here?”

“Lights 25%,” Bones called out and the lights dimmed. “Better?”

His throat felt raw. Hell he felt raw all over. ‘Yeah. I need more tea.”

“You gonna do nothing but drink that Vulcan tea? When was the last time you ate?”

“The-the day he died.”

“Jesus, Jim.” Bones went into the kitchen ahead of him. “Let me fix you something.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“The hell you aren’t.” Bones scowled. “There was nothing you could have done, Jim.”

“Bones—”

“Nothing. And no one—not Spock or anyone—blames you.”

“This is so much harder than I ever thought it would be,” Jim said softly, his breath hitching. “I knew—when it happened…if it did—it would be horrible. But this. God. It’s like I’m being torn apart, Bones.”

“It’s going to be all right, Jim. Once you get past the funeral, maybe it will ease a bit.”

“How can it? It’s…it’s Spock.”

Bones eyes softened. “I know, kid. Sit down. I’ll bring you something to eat and some more of that tea.”

Jim sat at the dining room table in Bones’ apartment. His head pounded. His heart felt like it was being torn from his chest.

Spock.

The door of the apartment opened. Jim stood, breath caught in his throat. Hoping. Begging.

“T’hy’la.”

Jim’s breath came out in a rush as he flung himself at Spock, who wrapped his arms around him so tight, Jim thought it might break his ribs and he didn’t care. The tears came as Spock held him. All the love Spock felt, came through the bond at him, and Jim let it heal him, help him.

“I am sorry it took me so long to make it here,” Spock said softly, kissing Jim’s forehead. “I could not get an earlier shuttle from New Vulcan.”

“You’re here now.”

“I grieve with thee.”

“I can’t believe he’s gone.”

Spock kissed him again. “My counterpart lived a long life, Ashaya. I am certain that he is happy to be with his own T’hy’la again.”

Jim pulled back, his eyes filled with tears. “Do you think they are together again?”

“I am certain.”

“I hope so.” He hugged Spock again. “God, it’s like losing you. I can’t bear that.”

“I am here, Jim. I will always be with you.” Spock took his hands. “Come, I know you have not eaten for days. Dr. McCoy has made you something. Will you eat for us?”

Jim nodded. “Okay.”

And though Jim knew he’d lost one Spock, his own Spock–his precious T’hy’la–was here with him. And would be for many years to come.

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