is finished. I apologize in advance.
Jim was wrung out. They’d decided to have a memorial get-together of his senior bridge crew for Chekov once everyone had arrived back on Yorktown.
They’d gone to dinner, a place on Yorktown Chekov had loved, and more than one of them had ended with tears in their eyes.
Jim had been forced to give a speech, which had had not wanted to do, but Bones asked him if not Jim, then who? So he’d talked about Pavel and how much they’d all loved him.
And now he was just a little bit drunk and a lot sad.
Bones was over in the corner of a bar they’d gone to talking to Scotty and Keenser. They were sharing a bottle of scotch between them. Spock and Uhura were standing by the entrance or exit he supposed as he suspected they were going to leave any second. Uhura was crying and she had her arms around Spock’s neck and his arms were around her waist.
At the table with him were Sulu and his husband Ben. They’d gotten a babysitter for Demora, figuring the little girl didn’t need to experience something this depressing.
“What’s next for you, Jim?” Ben asked him.
“After this place?”
“Yeah.”
“Back to my hotel room I suppose to crash for the night.”
“No company?” Sulu wondered.
Jim shook his head. A random hook up wasn’t really something he was interested in. It wouldn’t numb the heartache. Not by a longshot. “Nah.”
“How’s your boy?”
Jim smiled at the mention of David. “Good. I miss him already. Saw him just before I got here though. He’s adorable.”
“Too bad you don’t have him with you on Yorktown. We’re taking Demora to the zoo tomorrow. It would be fun to have them both.”
“It would,” Jim agreed. “Next time maybe. And now I really am tired, so if you guys will excuse me, I’m going to head back.”
The Sulus bid him goodnight and Jim left the bar, not failing to notice that Uhura and Spock had indeed left. As he stood on the street outside the bar he almost gave into the sadness, the loneliness that threatened.
He’d vowed though he no longer would let his unrequited love make him miserable. He shook it off and headed for his hotel.
When it was in sight, he was surprised to see Spock standing by himself overlooking the big water fountain right outside the hotel. The Vulcan looked pensive and for a moment, Jim decided he wouldn’t bother him, but then his legs carried him over there, almost against his will. Constantly drawn to Spock it would seem.
“Hey, Spock.”
“Good evening, Captain.”
“Surprised to see you out here. Thought you and Uhura went back to the hotel.”
Spock’s gaze stayed on Jim’s face for mere seconds before moving away. “Nyota has returned to her room.”
Jim almost asked ‘her room?’ as he had assumed they were sharing, but really it was hardly his business. But he did say, “You didn’t want to join her?”
“Nyota and I are…experiencing difficulties in our romantic relationship.”
Jim looked at him sharply. “You are? Since when?”
Spock shrugged slightly. “Before the events of Altamid, actually.”
“I thought you reconciled.”
“We did,” Spock said softly. “But the reconciliation has not gone well.”
He turned to fully face Jim then and Jim saw a faint green handprint on Spock’s cheek. Jim frowned at a flash of the memory of Uhura slapping Spock.
“Did she slap you?”
“She is not pleased with me,” Spock admitted.
“I’m sorry, Spock. I’m not sure what to say.”
“Nyota wishes for elements in our relationship I am unable to share with her,” Spock replied, turning away once more.
“You wanted to bond and she didn’t?” Jim asked before he could stop himself. He winced. “Uh, sorry. I know it’s not—”
“It was Nyota who expressed an interest in bonding with me.” Spock’s cheeks were bright green now. “When I expressed reservations, she…she ended things between us.”
“She did? Oh, Spock. I’m sorry.”
He shook his head.
“After all this time together, I can’t believe she would end it.”
Spock exhaled slowly. “Most romantic partners hope for an advancement in their relationship. I do not fault her.”
Jim wanted to ask him why he would not bond with her. He recalled just the other day Spock saying that they weren’t at that level in their relationship and Jim had wondered when they would be. Apparently Uhura had too.
“What prompted her bringing up now?”
“She has been bringing it up for a while,” Spock replied. “But the recent death of Ensign Chekov prompted her to renew her appeals for us to either bond or wed in the Terran way. She did not appreciate my continued reluctance.”
Jim had to admit he didn’t especially get it either. “What are you holding out for, Spock? A Vulcan bonding? I mean with a Vulcan female? You were thinking of leaving to settle on New Vulcan and make babies, right?”
“I was, yes,” Spock whispered. “But no, that is not what is holding me back, as you say.”
But Spock fell silent then, clearly not intending to go on an reveal to Jim what was preventing him from committing to Uhura. As far as Jim knew they’d been together for years. Since their academy days. Surely you didn’t spend that amount of time with someone unless you loved them. Fuck, Jim wouldn’t.
It occurred to him that the first part of the vision he’d had in the field back at his mom’s place had come true. He’d seen her slapping Spock. Maybe the other part where Spock was distraught over someone in the medbay would too.
Would it be Uhura? Jim hoped not. He didn’t like the idea of a member of his bridge crew so injured. But who else would Spock be so distraught over? It had to be Uhura.
“Maybe it will still work out, Spock. I bet it will. You two obviously love each other.” Jim placed his hand on Spock’s shoulder. He smiled, or did an imitation of one anyway. “I’m so damn tired right now it’s a wonder I’m still standing. So I’m going in. Goodnight Spock.”
For longer than seemed usual, Spock simply stared at Jim, like he was looking right through him or something.
It occurred to Jim, fleetingly, that if they’d truly broken up it was possible Uhura would ask for a transfer. But then the other part of his vision wouldn’t come true. He’d never had a vision that was only partly right.
“Goodnight, Captain,” Spock finally said, rather faintly. His green color had risen up all the way to the tips of his ears and Jim almost asked if he was all right, but of course he wasn’t. Probably had a broken Vulcan heart.
He squeezed Spock’s shoulder and turned and went into the hotel.
“Papa, live with you.”
Jim had just thrown a big purple plastic lightweight ball toward David who gleefully batted at it until it tumbled to the ground. He smiled and walked over to his son, crouching down.
“Papa would love that,” Jim said carefully. “You like living with Mama.”
“Yeah”
“So Mama would feel sad if you lived with Papa.”
David puckered his lips. “Live together.”
“Your Mama and me we care about each other so much, but we don’t live together.”
“Why not?”
Jim took David’s hand in his. “Papa is on a ship, like the one I gave you. But you know, as much as we care about each other, we both care even more about you. You’re the most important one to both of us.”
David stared at Jim, his lower lip sticking out.
“I need you to watch your Mama for me and keep her safe, okay?” Jim wasn’t even sure his son understood what he was saying.
“Okay,” David agreed, looking very solemn.
Jim decided it was time to lighten the mood. “Let’s go in and have ice cream with your grandma.”
“Yeah!”
David turned excitedly to run into the house. Jim went to stand, but was suddenly hit by a powerful wave of dizziness. His eyes blurred.
Then suddenly Spock appeared before him, leaning over someone in a biobed. Spock looked unexpectedly distraught. He turned to face someone and then the scene changed. Uhura was standing in front of Spock, angry. She raised her hand and struck Spock across the face.
“Papa! Papa!”
Jim was being shook and then he looked down into David’s pale face. His eyes were very huge.
He smiled. Or tried to. “It’s all right, David. Papa is here.”
He stood now and took David’s hand as they walked into the farmhouse together. David released Jim’s hand and ran to Jim’s mom.
“Ice cream! Ice cream!”
Jim exchanged a look with Winona, who frowned, then grinned at the boy. “Chocolate or Strawberry?”
“Both!” David cried gleefully.
“Oh, you really are Jim’s son. Okay, some of each.”
Jim wearily sat in the nearest chair. Often visions exhausted him. This one definitely had. But he had no idea what it meant. It had looked like the medbay on the Enterprise.
“Want some coffee, Jim?” his mom asked.
“Yeah. Yeah. That sounds great. Thanks.”
She poured him the coffee and brought it to him before even dishing out ice cream for David. She looked at Jim. His mom knew about the visions. Had even witnessed him having one before. She’d once told him that there were rumors, according to Jim’s dad, that quite a while back one of gran’s family had met and mated with a seer from the planet, Nestron, a mysterious planet that even now the Federation didn’t know all there was to know. Nestron had been destroyed many years ago also mysterious and all that was left was a lifeless hull of a rock.
“Did you see something?” she asked softly.
“Maybe, yes, I don’t know. It was fleeting. I don’t even know what it meant.”
“Grandma, ice cream,” David yelled from by the freezer.
She stared at Jim a moment longer. “Coming.” She turned back to David with a smile.
****
That night his sleep was disturbed by dreams, nightmares really. He didn’t really remember any of them except the last one he’d had.
It woke him up around three am and there was absolutely no way he could get back to sleep. In the dream, Rigel Three was attacked by Klingons and Carol was an immediate casualty. David was left alone, crying.
Then he woke.
Beside him in his bed, David slept on, but Jim’s heart was racing.
Had it been a vision or merely a dream brought about by a little anxiety with David being taken to Rigel Three by Carol?
Jim found his PADD and sent a message to Carol. But of course she ignored him, as he knew she would. She had laughed later when they’d talked in person, as she came to collect David from him. She had no reason to believe he had visions, so he didn’t real blame her. He could not hold her back from leaving.
He kept it to himself then. After he had hugged his son goodbye and Carol, too. He’d hugged her tight, unable to shake the feeling he would never see her again. And he could do nothing about it. He’d tried.
When he got to Yorktown for the final week’s preparations, he was relieved to see Spock. Finally.
“Mister Spock,” Jim greeted Spock with a smile as he got off the shuttle and saw Spock waiting for him. “What a pleasant surprise.”
“Captain, I was alerted to your impending arrival.”
“Well, good. How long have you been on Yorktown?” Spock fell in step beside him as they made their way out of ship docking area and over to the lift that would take them up to the streets of Yorktown.
“I arrived last evening,” Spock replied.
“Uhura too?”
“Nyota will arrive tomorrow. She left New Vulcan early in order to see her family on Earth.”
“Ah, good. Glad she got the chance.”
They got on the lift and rode up in silence. Jim stepped out first when it stopped.
“Did you enjoy your leave, Captain?”
“Yeah, I did. Spent most of it with my mom in Riverside. Got to spend a week or so with my son. Yeah, it was good.”
“I am gratified to hear it. David is well?”
“He is, yes. He’s going with Carol to Rigel Three soon for a temporary assignment she has there,” he said, neutrally. What he’d seen in his dream was still very much on his mind, but Spock would be completely dismissive. “You and, um, Uhura, did you—?”
“Captain?”
“You know, get married, or um, what is it…?”
“Bond,” Spock supplied.
He knew that, of course. He knew that well. But he was distracted by Carol and by the whole idea of Spock and Uhura living happily ever after together.
“Right.”
“We did not,” Spock said. “We are not at that level in our relationship yet.”
Jim frowned. They’d been ‘dating’ for years. When did it get to that level? But the truth was, as weird as Jim thought Spock’s response was, he was also incredibly glad. More glad actually than he ought to feel because he had absolutely no right to feel anything.
“Oh. Okay,” he said instead.
And they made their way to the first of Jim’s many meetings he’d have to have. He got busy with planning and even some negotiations, but he still thought of Carol and David somewhere in the back of his mind.
My AO3 hiatus pays off for my blog readers. Here’s chapter 2
Chapter Two
Jim met Carol and their son at a café just down from the Starfleet Shuttle Bay in San Francisco. It had been rebuilt, as much of the area had to be, after Khan had destroyed it all those years ago now.
David was just a couple of months over three years old now, talking, sometimes even in whole sentences, and looking every inch a cross between himself and Carol.
As soon as he saw Jim, he jumped off his chair and ran for him. “Papa! Papa!”
Jim’s mood brightened instantly. “Hey there, buddy.”
“Up!”
Jim grinned and bent down to pick up his son. He gave the boy a big kiss on his cheek as David’s chubby little arms encircled his neck. He turned to Carol as he walked over to their table. “Hi Pretty Lady.”
“Charmer to the last,” she said, agreeably, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Join us for breakfast?”
“Of course.” He set David down in his seat and then took the seat across from Carol. “You look beautiful. You’re doing well?”
“Yes, great, thank you.” She smiled at the waitress who had come to their table. “Pancakes for my son, please. And I’ll have the vegetable omelet, rye toast.”
The waitress looked to Jim, who glance at the menu quickly. “The fruit plate. And coffee.”
“Fruit plate? Is that all?”
“It’s enough,” he assured her. He reached into his bag and pulled out the stuffed Enterprise with really working lights and phaser sounds. He handed it to David. “Something for you to play with.”
“Yay!” David said, seizing on to it.
Carol focused on Jim. “You look really tired. Are you overdoing?”
“Of course not.”
“Of course not.” She snorted. “You’re an overachiever, Jim. You always have been. It’s one of the reasons we couldn’t work long term. You’re exactly who they have in mind when they say workaholic.”
‘Yeah, yeah.” But he smiled. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. The Enterprise was his partner. The one he was meant to spend his life with. He could accept that.
“Listen, in about a month, I’ll be starting at a new research facility,” she said. “It’s only a six month assignment, but it’s on Rigel Three.”
Jim frowned. “So you and David are going?”
“Yes, exactly. The Enterprise will likely be out of range for most of that time. But I’m certain you’ll be pretty busy anyway. I just wanted you to know. There’s no need to worry either. We’re getting a lovely apartment there in a building that overlooks the golden river.”
“Is it safe?” He was already thinking about how he would need to look up Rigel 3 and read everything about it.
“Perfectly. I would never take the baby somewhere unsafe, Jim. But I need your consent.” She handed over her PADD. “If you could just put your thumbprint on that line.”
Jim sighed. “This is why you let me take him for a week. So I’d agree to let you take him off planet for six months.”
“Well, yes, of course. You would have done the same thing if you were me.” Carol shook her head. “And you are getting to take David. I could have been difficult about this whole thing, Jim. Remember what you told me about your meld with Ambassador Spock? How the Carol from their universe kept David away from Jim there?”
Jim had never expected that he would create a David with Carol here. He hadn’t expected anything at all to be the same, so that one, vision or not, had surprised him. But she was right, she could have been difficult. She could have left the Enterprise without ever telling him a thing about David.
Jim tried to have a vision but nothing happened and he wasn’t surprised. It had never when he wanted it to.
He pressed his thumbprint down and handed it back to her.
“Thank you.”
He shrugged. “You were right.”
“I don’t mean to be a witch, but this is really important to me.”
“I know.” He smiled and took her hand. “And you aren’t.”
Carol stared at him rather wistfully. “When you look at me like that, I just, I wish…it had worked between us.”
Jim didn’t have the heart to tell her he would only ever be in love with Spock. He’d tried to love her, but it just wasn’t there.
“Me too,” he said softly, and was glad that their breakfast arrived.
****
By the time Jim made it back to Riverside, it was late. Too late for dinner and he had fed David on the shuttle anyway. David was asleep in the hover car when he drove up to the farmhouse, so Jim just hoisted him up on his shoulder and carried him into the house, where Winona waited.
“Sorry, Mom, I couldn’t keep him awake one more minute.”
“It’s okay,” she whispered back. “I’ll get to meet him in the morning. He’s so beautiful. He looks just exactly like you did at that age.”
“And there’s no part of Carol there at all,” he said with a smirk.
“Well.” She sniffed.
Jim chuckled softly. “I’m going to bring him upstairs.”
“Are you hungry? Need something to eat?”
“Yeah, I fed David on the shuttle. Let me get him settled and I’ll come back down.”
Jim went up the stairs and carried his son to his room, where he’d stay for the week. He laid him on the bed and put the covers over him, not bothering to change him into his pajamas for fear he’d wake him. He set down David’s suitcase and then stood over his son watching him sleep.
If he did one thing right, it was this boy. Not that it took anything special to have impregnated Carol. But this boy, at least he was a legacy.
He reached down and took his PADD out of David’s suitcase where he’d shoved it. He had messages from various crew members about Chekov.
Jim sighed, rubbing his eyes. He zeroed in on the one from Spock. He couldn’t help it.
I grieve with thee.
So simple and yet, Jim’s eyes pricked with tears.
God, he missed Spock. And he didn’t even know why. Spock had been so…distant. That had been one of the other reasons he’d thought about that job on Yorktown. He’d made so many invitations to play chess with Spock, yeah, he’d seen that in Ambassador Spock’s memories too, only to have every one of them denied. Jim had finally given up.
And then Altamid happened. Another thing Jim had failed to foresee. What was the use of his sight if it didn’t happen when he needed it?
Bones said Spock and Uhura broke up just before Krall, but, they’d made up or something, because he’d seen them on Yorktown at his birthday celebration and after and they were as close as ever.
Jim set the speaker by David’s side so that if he woke up or made any noise Jim and Winona would hear him.
Then with one last fond look at his son, Jim went downstairs for some food with his mom.
This is the full chapter 1 of my Blog story. I’m going to keep it here for the time being. If that changes you will know, but I don’t think it will for a bit.
Chapter One
When Jim was a small boy he sometimes spent time with his gran, his father’s mother. He didn’t get to spend a lot of time with her but when he did, Jim always loved it.
At one time, according to Gran, she and Grandad had owned the farmhouse in Riverside, but they’d passed it on to George and Winona when they’d first got married.
Gran and Grandad had moved to a condominium in Chicago. By the time Jim used to visit Gran, it was only her, as Grandad had passed on right after Sam was born.
Jim was six and Sam nine when they got to spent the winter holidays with Gran. Mom had to be off planet at a space station that had required her engineering expertise for an extended period, including over the holidays, and it had been, mercifully, before Frank had entered their lives.
Jim had never been a good sleeper, even as a small boy, and he had gotten up in the middle of the night, three nights before Christmas, to find Gran rocking in her chair and sipping brandy. He’d crawled into her lap and she spun a tale for him.
“You know, Jimmy, our family has the gift.”
“The gift?”
“Auyuh. The intuition.”
“In-ta-wishing.”
Gran chuckled. “Close enough, Jimmy. You can also call it the sight.”
“Everybody sees, don’t they?”
“Not that kind of sight. This is the ability to see what’s going to happen in the future.”
Jim frowned. He wasn’t sure what Gran was talking about.
“For example, I knew when your grandad was going to have a heart attack and pass on from this life. I foresaw it. And I knew your daddy wasn’t ever coming back from his last mission on the Kelvin.” She shook her head sadly. “But here’s the thing, now, Jimmy. Not all of us have it.”
“We don’t?”
“It can skip some people, some generations. Your daddy, Lord Rest him, didn’t have it. I used to ask him once in a while. But he never did have it. But you.” And she thumped him lightly on the chest. “You might have it.”
“Yeah?” Jim really had no clue what “it” was but the way Gran talked about it, it sounded cool.
Back then, when Gran told him, Jim hadn’t understood. He just knew he loved spending time with her and he loved that holiday time. It was his favorite ever.
And after she passed away and Jim remembered her words, he dismissed them as a story to tell a boy who couldn’t sleep.
When Jim got into the Academy, he began to experience moments he couldn’t quite explain. Like that night, after talking with Pike, Jim had gotten the absolute sense, conviction even, that he would meet someone who would become immensely important to him that next day.
And he had. Bones.
It was just little things like that at first. Easily dismissed.
But then he’d had a couple onboard the Enterprise right after he’d made captain. One where he died saving Spock. One where Spock died because Jim hadn’t been there. He’d been able to stop them, both of them.
It didn’t always work. He hadn’t foreseen Spock almost dying in the Volcano. And he hadn’t really known Marcus was going to betray them until it was far too late. But he had seen his own death saving the ship and he had let that one happen anyway.
Bones saved it, luckily.
Jim kept the visions to himself. They came in dreams, mostly. Sometimes day dreams where he seemed to go totally out of himself until the vision was over, as he had the day he’d seen his own death when he stood on the observation deck.
He expected anyone he told wouldn’t believe him. Once back in the academy he’d mentioned it in passing to Bones.
“Premonitions, Jim? Don’t tell me you believe in that hokey nonsense?”
And so he’d dropped it and never mentioned it to Bones or anyone again.
He even recalled that day when he was six, Gran saying,
“Now, Jimmy, there’s no point in telling most people what you’ve seen. They won’t believe you because they can’t. It’s just not in them. And it’s hard to keep stuff like that to yourself, especially when you want to change the outcome.”
And he could sometimes, like with himself and Spock that time during that one planetary mission. But sometimes, like with Khan, things were meant to happen, and Jim was finding out which visions could be changed and which could not.
Back when Carol Marcus was on the Enterprise, Jim had dreamt that the two of them had created a son together, whom Carol would name David. The very next day she had come to him and said their affair, which had ended a couple of weeks earlier after going hot and heavy for two and a half months, had ended up with her being pregnant. She’d left the Enterprise to work at HQ in San Francisco and Jim hadn’t been at all surprised when she’d named their son, David.
At the time, Jim had offered to marry her, certainly out of a sense of obligation, but also to numb his own pain over the continuing relationship of Spock and Uhura. Jim had it bad for Spock, probably would until the end of time, but Spock was with Uhura, and there was not a thing he could do about it but go on with his own life.
Carol, wisely, told Jim no. She was an independent woman completely capable of taking care of herself and a child without the old-fashioned notion that she had to have a husband. They were not in love and her son would be her number one priority.
And David had been. Carol was a great mother. Jim spoke to David whenever he could, not often, really, and life went on. In fact, David had been one of the reasons he had considered taking the vice admiral position on Yorktown. To have a more normal life with his son.
But then, directly after the events of Yorktown, Jim had another vision, and he’d chosen to retain command of the Enterprise.
And now, in only two weeks, the Enterprise would return to exploring. Only the final touches remained before they would be going out on their trial run.
For a time, Jim had remained on Yorktown, making sure that the new Enterprise was built to his specific requirements. But there came a time when he was no longer needed and so he’d gone to Earth for the remainder of his official leave.
Bones had gone to Georgia to visit with his daughter. Sulu had stayed on Yorktown with his daughter and husband. Jaylah was attending the Academy. Jim wasn’t really sure what happened to Scotty. Spock and Uhura went to New Vulcan together, probably to bond, Jim figured.
And Jim had gone to Winona. It had been a long time since he’d been back to Riverside. She was back there, in their house, after finally kicking Frank to the curb, and after she took retirement from Starfleet.
Next week, Jim would return to Yorktown with a week to go before relaunch, to, once again, make sure everything was in order. But he had a week left and he would make good use of it.
Jim had been on his way to San Francisco to pick up David for a visit with him and his mom, Carol had agreed to give them a week, when Jim had received word that Pavel Chekov had been killed in Russia, crushed by his own hover car.
The night before he’d had a dream about Chekov, one where he was injured in an away mission, and then the next day, Jim learned he was dead. Whether his dream had been some sort of foreboding, Jim didn’t know. He only knew that his Russian whiz kid was gone and he’d never hear him say, “Keptin” again.
He’d stood in the front area next to the door of the farmhouse doing nothing for a long time.
His mother touched his arm. “Jim, what’s wrong, sweetie? I thought you were ready to take the shuttle to pick up David?”
“Yeah.” Jim licked his lips. “In a second.”
“Honey, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. What was that? What’s happened?”
“Ensign…Pavel Chekov is dead,” he whispered. “A member of my crew.”
“Oh Jim. Yes, I remember. Oh, honey. What happened?”
“He was crushed by his hover car. Fuck. Damn. It’s so unfair. He was-he was just a kid.”
She embraced him then and he felt the prick of tears. He firmly pushed them away after a moment. He had no time for that. He’d learned to be strong, both externally and internally, from her, from necessity. And he would go on, as he had.
“Okay.” He kissed her cheek. “I’m going to go get my son. With luck, I’ll have him in time for dinner.”
She smiled. “I can’t wait.” She touched his cheek. “Be careful, okay?”
“Always, Mom. Always.”
So I am constantly trying to come up with content for the blog that encompasses something other than boring ass me.
I was looking over at my work on AO3 today and re-read a one-shot story I had written and posted last May called Not This Time. It’s very short and also my lowest hits for a Star Trek story (sad ending) and here it is here for reference.
*I should have told you…something. And now…it’s too late. My heart hurts so much. I can’t even breathe. I can’t even see past the tears. I feel so empty. Lost. Your face. Do you know? Do you even know what you were to me? I dreamed of tasting your lips. Touching your tongue with mine. Running my hands over your bare skin. It was not to be.
“Doctor, we’re losing him!”
“Damn it. Get out of the way. Get Spock out of here!”
“No. Jim! I want—”
Spock.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppppp
Jim gasped as his lungs filled with air. He began to choke, leaning on the glass of the observation deck.
What the fuck was that?
“Captain? Are you all right, sir?” Ensign Davers was suddenly by his side, touching his arm.
Was he? He didn’t know. He’d never spaced out like that before.
“Yeah, fine. Thank you, Ensign.”
Davers looked uncertain, but he nodded, practically clicked his heals and saluted, and excused himself from the observation deck.
Maybe he was a little more apprehensive about the mission coming up then he’d thought. Which wasn’t exactly like him.
Shaking his head, he decided it was time to return to his quarters and get some real rest.
As he approached his door, he spotted Spock and Uhura in the hallway outside hers, a little ways down. She had her arms around his neck as usual. And his gut twisted, also as usual. Dumb, Jim.
She kissed Spock on the corner of his mouth and then released him, entering her quarters. Spock turned and headed down the corridor toward Jim.
“Captain.”
“Commander.”
“If you have time, I would like to discuss the parameters of the upcoming mission.”
Jim shook his head. “Yeah. I don’t. Not really. I’m a little tired and kind of spacey.”
Spock straightened minutely. “It will not take long.”
Jim accessed his door. “All right.”
Spock stepped in after him. “I recommend that you not be part of the landing party.”
Jim pulled off his gold tunic. “Why?”
“The mission does not require two senior officers. And since it is more a scientific mission, my presence is more logical.”
Jim frowned.
Spock stands in front of a native plant, scanning it. He begins to speak, “This is fascinating, Captain. The plant—”
Jim sees the plant turn its-its head or bud or whatever and aim its spores right at Spock’s side, where his heart is.
No.
Jim pushes Spock out of the way and the spores hit him. He goes down.
“Captain?”
Jim looked at Spock. “I think Lieutenant Commander Morse can handle the mission. I want both of us to skip it.”
“Captain—”
“You have your orders, Commander.”
“Very well,” Spock replied, but he was not at all pleased. Even for a Vulcan. He turned to leave.
“Spock, I—”
Spock turned back. “Captain?”
“Nothing,” he said softly. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
And Spock was gone.
Jim touched his fingers to his lips.
I dreamed of tasting your lips. Touching your tongue with mine. Running my hands over your bare skin. It was not to be.*
This got me to thinking that I didn’t really want to leave at this for my poor baby. So I started something that I am probably going to post on the blog. Probably just in bits and pieces as the whims hit me and maybe it will be a long process before Jim gets any kind of happiness, but anyway…the following was inspired by the previous, and you might say they are part of the same universe and the same Jim. So here is the first part, and I’ll add to it whenever.
When Jim was a small boy he sometimes spent time with his gran, his father’s mother. He didn’t get to spend a lot of time with her but when he did, Jim always loved it.
At one time, according to Gran, she and Grandad had owned the farmhouse in Riverside, but they’d passed it on to George and Winona when they’d first got married.
Gran and Grandad had moved to a condominium in Chicago. By the time Jim used to visit Gran, it was only her, as Grandad had passed on right after Sam was born.
Jim was six and Sam nine when they got to spent the winter holidays with Gran. Mom had to be off planet at a space station that had required her engineering expertise for an extended period, including over the holidays, and it had been, mercifully, before Frank had entered their lives.
Jim had never been a good sleeper, even as a small boy, and he had gotten up in the middle of the night, three nights before Christmas, to find Gran rocking in her chair and sipping brandy. He’d crawled into her lap and she spun a tale for him.
“You know, Jimmy, our family has the gift.”
“The gift?”
“Auyuh. The intuition.”
“In-ta-wishing.”
Gran chuckled. “Close enough, Jimmy. You can also call it the sight.”
“Everybody sees, don’t they?”
“Not that kind of sight. This is the ability to see what’s going to happen in the future.”
Jim frowned. He wasn’t sure what Gran was talking about.
“For example, I knew when your grandad was going to have a heart attack and pass on from this life. I foresaw it. And I knew your daddy wasn’t ever coming back from his last mission on the Kelvin.” She shook her head sadly. “But here’s the thing, now, Jimmy. Not all of us have it.”
“We don’t?”
“It can skip some people, some generations. Your daddy, Lord Rest him, didn’t have it. I used to ask him once in a while. But he never did have it. But you.” And she thumped him lightly on the chest. “You might have it.”
“Yeah?” Jim really had no clue what “it” was but the way Gran talked about it, it sounded cool.
Back then, when Gran told him, Jim hadn’t understood. He just knew he loved spending time with her and he loved that holiday time. It was his favorite ever.
And after she passed away and Jim remembered her words, he dismissed them as a story to tell a boy who couldn’t sleep.
When Jim got into the Academy, he began to experience moments he couldn’t quite explain. Like that night, after talking with Pike, Jim had gotten the absolute sense, conviction even, that he would meet someone who would become immensely important to him that next day.
And he had. Bones.
It was just little things like that at first. Easily dismissed.
But then he’d had a couple onboard the Enterprise right after he’d made captain. One where he died saving Spock. One where Spock died because Jim hadn’t been there. He’d been able to stop them, both of them.
It didn’t always work. He hadn’t foreseen Spock almost dying in the Volcano. And he hadn’t really known Marcus was going to betray them until it was far too late. But he had seen his own death saving the ship and he had let that one happen anyway.
Bones saved it, luckily.
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 