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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

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Star Trek

The Perfect Partner, Chapter 2

Warning: This chapter contains explicit same-sex “Daddy Kink” Dom/sub sex

“You look quite pleasing like this.”

“Do you think so?”

Spock’s grasped his shoulders and moved him to stand in front of the mirror.

Jim stared at himself. At the dark brown hair cut in the traditional bowl cut they seemed so fond of. His ears were pointed, even more so than Spock’s were, but then of course they would be. As he was fully Vulcan. And the eyes. Instead of blue eyes, brown eyes stared back at him under slanty brows.

“I must admit,” Jim said softly, “I look fascinating.”

“Indeed,” Spock murmured. “Purging all that was human in you was definitely the right thing to do.”

Purging the human.

“When the child is born,” Spock continued, his hands moving to Jim’s swollen stomach, “he will be three quarters Vulcan and we cannot allow that.”

“We cannot?”

“No. We must purge the quarter of him that is human.”

“Yes,” Jim agreed with a nod. “It is only logical.”

He turned toward Spock.

“What of you? When will you purge your human half?”

“I am to undergo the purging today. My appointment in the chamber is in ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes, Spock? You must endeavor to be more accurate. It is ten minutes, fourteen seconds.”

Spock bowed his head. “You are correct. This is proof that I must purge my inferior side the sooner the better.”

 

Jim woke up shouting, “Don’t! No! Don’t go into the chamber!”

“Jim.”

His eyes wide, Jim stared at Spock, who was sitting on the edge of his bed and had his hands on Jim’s chest.

“Spock?”

“Yes. You were dreaming. You must calm down.”

“You-you didn’t go into the chamber?”

Spock’s brows furrowed. “I do not know of what you speak.”

“My eyes. What do they look like? Spock, what do they look like?”

“Your heart rate is very fast. If you do not calm yourself I will be forced to call the doctor.”

Jim exhaled. His breath came out choppy. Spock’s hands were still on his chest. Not holding him down exactly but definitely holding him in place.

Spock said nothing, just watched Jim as he tried to get his breathing back to normal. He put his hand up to his ear and felt roundness.

“Are my eyes blue?”

“Remarkably so.”

Jim laughed a little. “O-Okay.”

Then he placed his hand on his flat stomach and felt further relieved. Now that was one hell of a bad dream.

“How long have you been here?” he asked Spock when he could form a coherent thought.

“I have been working at your desk for several hours,” Spock replied. “You were sleeping and I did not wish to disturb you, but there were additional tasks I had to see to.”

Jim nodded and licked his dry lips. He was further surprised when Spock reached over to the table next to his bed and retrieved a glass of water, which he handed to Jim.

“Thanks.”

“Drink all of it,” Spock told him. “You have a tendency toward dehydration.”

Jim frowned but took a large swallow of the water. “Taking that a bit far, aren’t you?”

“To what do you refer?”

“You know. The, uh, the daddy thing.”

Spock arched an impervious brow. “I do not.”

“Do not what?”

“Think I am taking it too far. I was correct when I said you need a daddy.”

Jim felt his face heat. “That’s way hotter than it should be. Does that make me twisted? It totally does, doesn’t it?”

“You are babbling, Drink.”

Jim took another drink but was sort of irritated that he did. “I thought you might be embarrassed.”

“By?”

“Saying you were my daddy.”

“Why would I be?” Spock gestured for him to take another drink. “What we choose to participate in the privacy of our quarters is no one’s business but our own.”

“So you weren’t avoiding me?”

“I had work to do, Jim. The duties of your science officer and first officer are quite extensive.”

“Are you overworked?”

“Hardly.”

Jim finished the water and handed over the empty glass when Spock reached for it. “I didn’t know Vulcans had kinks.”

“Kinks?”

“Yeah. The daddy thing. It’s a kink.”

Spock tilted his head. “Is it?”

“Oh yeah. So if you continue to insist you are, um, –”

“Your daddy.”

“That.” Jim’s cock rose painfully hard in his sleep shorts. Apparently Spock wasn’t the only one with the daddy kink. “It makes you kinky.”

Spock’s gaze went to the bulge in Jim’s pants. “You like it when I am your daddy.”

“Oh, shit. Why is it so fucking hot when you say that word?”

Spock’s lips quirked in a tiny show of amusement. He moved his hand to between Jim’s legs and squeezed Jim’s crotch. “Shall I tell you what to do as your daddy?”

Jim was pretty sure his brain just completely shorted out in favor of all things being concentrated in his aching cock.

“Yes,” he whispered.

“Yes, what?”

His eyes widened and his lungs seized. “Yes, daddy.”

“Remove your shirt and then lie on your back,” Spock ordered.

Jim scrambled to obey and then paused briefly to wonder what that said about him. Spock’s eyes narrowed at him and considering he had his hand on Jim’s leg, Jim suspected the telepath was getting some of his thoughts.

Jim licked his lips and waited for what Spock would do or say next.

Spock’s fingers went into the waistband of Jim’s shorts. Jim was now shaking with need, his stupid dream now long forgotten, and his need to be dominated by his Vulcan overcoming all else.

“Spock, please.”

The shorts were ripped in half and tossed aside, exposing Jim’s leaking cock to Spock’s dark gaze. Jim swore his eyes rolled back into his head.

Spock undid the fasteners of his pants and pulled out his own hard cock, which was slick with the Vulcan’s lubricant.

“Stroke me,” Spock ordered, his voice sounding harsh in the quiet room.

Jim closed his fingers around the double-ridged masterpiece and began sliding his fist along the length. During the week and a half he and Spock had been “experimenting” sexually—Jim’s words, not Spock’s—Spock had always closed his eyes whenever Jim touched him so intimately. But not this time. Those molten chocolate eyes were fixated on Jim in such a show of commanding dominance, the submissive in Jim lowered his gaze.

“Look at me.”

Unable to resist the command, Jim looked at Spock, though still kept his own gaze pure submission.

“You are so beautiful,” Spock said.

He flushed at the compliment. He curled his fist tighter around Spock’s dick which earned him a growl.

“Cease!”

“But—”

“Do not speak.”

Jim closed his mouth. His pulse raced, his heart hammered in his chest. He desperately wanted to stroke his own cock, but he didn’t dare.

“Spread your cheeks for me.”

Jim made a mewling sound before he could stop himself but Spock just arched a brow, obviously waiting for Jim to obey.

Jim slid his hands down to his own ass and grasped each cheek. He spread them apart, exposing his hole to Spock’s gaze.

And that gaze zeroed in. Dark and intense. Jim was shaking.

“Wet your finger and stick in in yourself,” came the next order.

Sucking in a breath, Jim moved a hand to his mouth and thoroughly soaked his fingers with his own saliva. Then he moved it back to his ass and slowly stuck his index finger into his puckered hole. He let out a low moan,

“Deeper.”

Jim bit his lip against the sting but pushed it in further up his ass.

“Add another.”

Jim swallowed heavily but stuck in a second finger. “Can-Can we please?”

“Can we please what?”

“I want you to-to fuck me.”

For a moment, Spock just stared at him. Then he reached over and pulled Jim’s fingers out. He hadn’t bothered to remove his clothes, so it was just Spock’s dick sticking out from his pants and somehow that was dirtier still

“Who am I?” Spock asked, as he took his excruciatingly slow time pushing into Jim.

“Spock.”

“Wrong answer.” He slapped Jim’s thigh. “Who am I?”

His mouth so dry, he felt like he couldn’t get any saliva at all, Jim groaned out, “My-my daddy.”

“Yes, your daddy.”

Spock thrust in fully, deeply, his fingers digging into Jim as he yanked Jim’s ass off the bed to be flush against him.

“Can I-Can I—?”

“Yes,” Spock ground out.

Jim’s hand grasped his leaking cock, desperately pumping himself, as he felt Spock pound his ass. If the bed survived intact, Jim would be surprised.

“Jim!” Spock shouted, pouring into him as Jim’s ass muscles clenched around him.

“God, oh, God,” Jim gasped over and over as he splurted out all over himself and the bed, Spock still moving within him. His vision went out for a few seconds and then Spock was withdrawing and petting his head. He collapsed in a heap.

A little while later, he felt a cool damp cloth being run over his body.

“Spock?”

“Who else?”

He heard the amusement in Spock’s voice. It was a subtle thing. Most didn’t know when Spock was amused. Jim always did though.

“You don’t have to do that,” Jim said softly. “I can get in the shower.”

“Negative.”

“No?”

“You will stay in bed and rest. When I have deemed your rest sufficient, then you can rise, eat something, and shower. We will make orbit for Tambian 3 in three hours.”

Jim grimaced but he didn’t move. “I’m still the captain.” He paused. “Daddy.”

That earned him a stinging slap to his bare buttocks.

Jim refrained from saying ‘ouch’ only because that would satisfy Spock.

“Spock?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Would you-Would you rather I was a-a woman?” He buried his flaming hot face in the pillow.

Spock paused in his wipe down of Jim’s back. “No.”

Jim relaxed a little.

“Now be silent.”

All right. Perhaps he could give up command in his quarters. Sometimes anyway.

The Perfect Partner, Chapter 1

Okay I got a little more written on this so I figure I will finish it.

The Perfect Partner

“Jim.”

“Jim.”

“Jim.”

“What?!” Jim scowled at Bones who had just shaken him so hard his teeth were still rattling. “What the fuck?”

“What the fuck indeed. I’ve been talking to you for five damn minutes about my needed medical supplies. Are you in there?”

Jim looked away from Bones and down into his coffee cup. After a few seconds he looked back up. “We’ll make Tambian 3 in fourteen hours. They’re waiting with your supplies.”

Bones nudged him. “What’s got you rattled?”

“Do you think I’d make a good Vulcan?” Jim blurted out.

“What? No. Why would you even ask that?”

“No?” Jim lowered his gaze again. “Why not?”

“Because you actually have feelings and a heart. A great big one. What the hell anyway?”

Jim shrugged. “You know how Spock was sprayed by that pollen and became more human for like, I don’t know, ten hours?”

“Uh-huh.”

“He got pretty emotional during that time. Affectionate too.”

Bones snorted. “If this is one of your sex with Spock stories spare me.”

“No, it’s not.” Jim’s gaze rose. “He said some stuff.”

“Like what?”

Jim licked his lips and then took a sip of his coffee. “Nah, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. What he say? Do I need to challenge him to a duel over your honor or something?”

“Just that he wished I was Vulcan.”

Bones stared at him for a good thirty seconds saying nothing. “Did he say why?”

“Yeah. But there’s more.”

“What more?”

“I think he wants me to be a woman, too.”

Bones actually choked. “Come again?”

“He said he wished I could have babies.” Jim sighed and looked away. “If I was Vulcan and could have babies then I’d be his perfect partner.”

“He said that?”

“Yeah. Something about already being his perfect lover. But if I was Vulcan and could have babies he could contribute to the building of the Vulcan species and still get to keep me and all the elders would approve.”

Bones didn’t speak for probably two minutes. “What did you say?”

“’Oh, yeah, ha ha, wouldn’t that be great?’ And that was the end of it.”

“So why isn’t it the end of it now?”

“Because he wants me to be a Vulcan woman!”

Bones stirred sugar into his coffee. “Far be it from me to defend Spock, but I don’t think he meant anything bad by it. Probably in his screwed by pollen mind what he said seemed perfectly logical.”

“Hmm.”

“This thing between you and Spock is pretty darn new. What, was it like only two weeks since you declared undying love for each other? You’re both still navigating it.”

“One and a half. And we didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?”

“Jesus, Bones. We didn’t declare undying love for each other. Or any other kind.”

“But you do, right? Love Spock. Come on, Jim. It’s so obvious.”

Jim made a face. “Maybe I do and maybe I don’t. But well what am I supposed to do with this information?”

“What?”

Jim sighed. “That I’m not the partner Spock really wants.”

“He didn’t say that, Jim.”

“Practically. I won’t be perfect unless I’m Vulcan and can pop out babies.” Jim deflated. “And I can’t do either of those.”

“On that we are agreed.”

“Should I just let him go?”

“Let him go?”

“Yeah. You know. Just tell him to go to Vulcan and get with a Vulcan woman and do what he needs to do. Or what he wants to do.” Jim bit his lip. “That’s why they broke up.”

“I know. He told me.”

“I don’t want to be selfish. Or much anyway.”

“I’m telling you he was compromised by that pollen.”

“Or because it caused him to be more human, he voiced his true feelings.”

Bones shook his head and closed his eyes. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“He’s been sort of avoiding me.”

“Avoiding you?”

Jim nodded. “Ever since he went back to his logical self. Um. He got a little wild and I think maybe he’s embarrassed.”

“I told you no sex with Spock stories.”

“This is just a teensy one. He told me I needed a daddy and he was my daddy.”

“Oh shut the fuck up, will you? How am I supposed to unhear that?”

Jim laughed. “You asked.”

“I did like hell.” Bones stood up and pushed away from the table. “And go to sleep. You look terrible.”

The smile slipped from Jim’s face and he stared into his coffee cup once more.

Where My Demons Hide, Chapter 4

star-trek-beyond-trailer-2-captain-kirk-chris-pine-and-bones-karl-urban-drink

“Are you sure about this, Jim?”

“Well.” Jim shrugged as he bent down to check his luggage. “Spock wants to.”

“That’s it? Spock wants you to.”

“Good of reason as any.” Jim tried a smile.

“Jim—”

“Bones, it’s fine.”

“Your mental state—”

“Is fine.” Jim squeezed Bones’ arm. “I swear, Bones. It’s all good.”

Spock suddenly appeared at his side in the shuttle bay. “Is there a problem, Captain?”

He had to smile at the softly spoken ‘captain’. A genuine smile. He figured he would never break Spock of the habit of calling him by his title and for some reason it was more endearing than it should be.

“No problem. Bones was just saying goodbye.”

Spock turned to Bones. “Doctor, I trust you will have a restful time while we are on New Vulcan.”

“Yeah, restful,” Bones muttered. “You got all the hypos I’m sending with you?”

“Yep.”

“Sunscreen?”

“Yep.”

He eyed Spock. “And you have all the hypos I’m sending with you in case he loses the ones I’m sending with him?”

“Hey,” Jim protested. “I totally won’t.”

“Yes, doctor. I have everything. He will not come to harm.”

Bones seemed unconvinced judging by his grimace, but he pulled Jim into a quick embrace. Jim patted his back gently and then pulled away.

“I’ll let you know when I’m there.”

“You’d better.”

Jim turned to go up the ramp for the shuttle.

“Spock, you have a minute?” Bones asked.

Jim stopped. He frowned as he turned around.

Bones waved at him. “It’s nothing, Jim. Just need a moment with Spock.”

Jim didn’t like it but there wasn’t much he could do about it. So he sighed and turned to go into the shuttle.

 

Spock noticed the grim lines around Jim’s mouth as they made their way to his father’s house which would be their home for the next month. He had been talking animatedly the entire way from Earth to New Vulcan, but he’d grown quiet ever since they landed and went through a bit of New Vulcan on their way to Sarek’s.

“My father could not be here for our arrival but will come later to have dinner with us,” Spock explained. He used the code his father had given him to access the house.

Once inside the home, Spock said, “My father is aware of our change in status and had assumed we would share a room, however, if you would prefer separate accommodations, I am certain that can be arranged.

Jim smiled faintly. “Sharing with you is fine, Spock. In fact, it’s preferable.”

Spock nodded and led Jim toward the room his father had advised would be theirs for the duration of their stay. It was a simple room with a bed big enough for both of them, a closet to hang their clothes and a dresser for anything they might want to place in drawers. There was a single window, facing away from the sun.

“This is nice.”

“It was…”

Jim cocked his head. “What?”

“This was the room Ambassador Spock occupied while staying on New Vulcan,” Spock said quietly.

Jim came to where Spock stood in the middle of the room. He placed his hands on Spock’s biceps. “I’m sorry. We can request another place to stay, maybe?”

Spock shook his head. “My father would think that illogical. It is only a room and does not contain his presence.”

Jim moved one of his hands to Spock’s jaw. “I guess I really didn’t think how much this affected you. I’ve been in my own little world.”

Spock leaned into Jim’s touch. “My concern has been with you.”

“Me?” Jim gave him a quizzical look. “Why?”

“You are melancholy.”

“Despite what everyone thinks I’m really not some sort of laughing doofus.”

“I never imagined such a thing.”

Jim sighed. “I know. The point is, I would like to think I’ve matured a bit and I can be serious.”

“Not too serious, I hope.” Spock gazed into his eyes. “The loss of Mr. Chekov weighs heavily on you.”

“On everyone.” Jim shook his head. “What did Bones want?”

“To charge me with your care.”

“My care? Jesus. I actually can take care of myself you know. I don’t need a nursemaid.”

“No. However, is it so terrible to have those around you wish to ensure your safety and welfare?”

Jim’s mouth thinned. “When put like that you make me sound like an asshole.”

“Never that. Dr. McCoy’s concern for you is admirable and appreciated.”

Jim pushed closer into Spock’s personal space. Spock found he did not mind. “Did you want to ask your dad about moving rooms?”

“Negative. It is only for our stay and I am certain my father thought it was the best choice for us.” Spock slid his arms around Jim’s waist. “You are tense. What is bothering you?”

Jim shook his head and was already opening his mouth in denial.

“Jim.”

“It’s just…they really do need so much help here. I’m—it’s selfish of me to want you to stay with me and I know it.”

“Perhaps,” Spock acknowledged quietly. “But I find that I want you to be selfish.”

“Spock—”

“I will do what I can from the Enterprise. My place is by your side.” Spock turned Jim around so that his back was to Spock. He put his hands on Jim’s shoulders and began to massage the muscles there.

“Mm. That feels great.”

“I am glad you approve.”

“I do.” Jim sighed softly. And before Spock could stop him, Jim stepped away and gently pushed Spock to sit on the edge of the bed. “Let me show you.”

“Jim—”

“Shh. It’ll feel good, I promise.” Jim knelt on the bed behind Spock and he began to attack Spock’s own tense muscles with rigor. “Feels good, huh?”

“Yes,” Spock agreed. “But it was my intention to massage you.”

“You can do that another time,” Jim said easily. “Right now I want you to feel good.”

It was on the very edge of Spock’s mind that there was something not quite right about all of this, but Jim’s hands on his neck, shoulders, and back felt so good, Spock closed his eyes and let the relaxed feeling push away any negative thoughts.

Spock did not know how long Jim continued to massage him but eventually he became aware he was laying on his back on the mattress and Jim was undoing his trousers.

“Jim?”

“It’s all right. I’m just here to give you pleasure,” Jim assured him as Spock felt Jim’s callused fingers pull his cock and balls out from his pants.

Spock jolted in shock when Jim’s hot mouth encircled the tip of his penis. The sensation was unlike anything he had ever felt before. His sexual life with Nyota had been satisfactory but not altogether inspiring. As Jim deep-throated him, Spock could not stop a keening cry from escaping his lips. Then he yelped, there was no other logical word for it, when he felt Jim’s slicked finger push inside Spock’s hole as he continued to expertly suck Spock’s erection.

“Jim,” he gasped, clutching at Jim’s head desperately as his whole body seemed alight with tiny shocks of electricity. His fingers threaded into Jim’s beautiful hair as his hips seemed to rise up of their own free will, pushing himself further within Jim’s talented mouth.

The finger pushed further and Jim swallowed around Spock and he was lost. He knew he shouted, Vulcan words of ancient origin, as he came, filling his captain’s mouth. He had a moment of gratitude that his father was not home for Spock knew he could not have been quiet.

Jim released him with a sort of slippery sounding pop and his finger eased out of Spock’s entrance with an astounding gentleness. Spock could only look upon Jim with wonder.

Jim smiled. “I’d better clean up.”

“Wait.”

“For what?”

Spock blinked, taking a moment to catch his breath. “I-I wish to reciprocate.”

“Oh.” Jim shook his head but he was grinning. “No worries. Your dad will be home soon, right?”

“Yes,” Spock replied reluctantly.

“I don’t want to be in the middle of anything.”

“I am certain there is time.”

“No way. I don’t want to come out of the room and greet him just after having sex. What an impression.” Jim smirked. “It’s fine.” He slipped into the bathroom off the bedroom.

Spock sat up and adjusted his own clothing. He would have to clean up as well.

But the alarm he felt over Jim’s behavior had increased tenfold. Clearly Spock was inadequate to fulfill Jim’s need

Random Thoughts

I may, on occasion,  post something here exclusively or at least here first. We shall see.

I am trying to find a picture of Chris to go with my wintery Zach picture for my Winter Spirk story. This is harder, of course, since Chris is a Californian.

The closest I could come to is one where he’s in The Finest Hours

finest

 

 

 

Where My Demon Hides, Chapter 3

tumblr_oabvgj8tn61qb3lvjo2_1280-2

“Jim?” Spock’s voice had an urgency to it that thrilled Jim.

“Yes, do it.”

Long, elegant fingers pushed inside him, slick with lubricant. He buried his face in the pillow on the bed, biting it when Spock bit him, sharp teeth sinking into that fleshy part just below the back of his neck.

Fingers withdrew and Spock rose above him, pushing inside with a long drawn out groan.

Jim gripped the sheets, digging his fingers into the mattress as Spock fucked him hard and deep. The pleasure was there. His hard, sensitive cock pressed helplessly against the bed, the friction almost maddening in its intensity. The slide of Spock’s cock against his prostate. He was so close even without hand stimulation. Jim closed his eyes.

Spock groaned and stiffened above him, emptying inside Jim, even as the tips of his finger pressed into the skin of Jim’s hips. Spock rode out his orgasm, pumping over and over into Jim.

And then Spock collapsed. His weight on Jim almost crushing the breath from him.

Jim sighed as Spock withdrew from him. With a shake of his head, he sat up in the bed, rubbing his hand over his forehead and hair.

Spock sat up also. “Jim, if you will lie back down I will—”

“I’m good.” Jim smiled and patted Spock’s bare thigh. “I gotta go to the bathroom though. Be back.”

“Jim—”

Jim was already standing. He frowned down at Spock. “What?”

Spock hesitated and then shook his head. “There is nothing.”

Jim smiled again and headed to his bathroom, picking up his discarded clothes as he went. Once inside he closed the door and engaged the lock as he willed his erection to go away.

You’re nothing. Just a vessel. You just lie there and take it like the bitch you are. That’s right, you’re here to pleasure me. You get nothing. Nothing. You’re my toy, my plaything.

Jim sucked in a breath and blocked out the voice.

For a while it was almost impossible. And then it got easier. Almost effortless.

Then when he spoke to his mom the other day—

Well…they released him.

He probably won’t bother you.

“Jim?”

Spock from directly outside the bathroom door.

“Are you unwell?”

“No. Coming out now.” Jim scrambled into his clothes, splashed water on his face, and came out of the bathroom with a smile.

Spock had pulled on the sleeping robe he’d worn the prior night when he had slept over in Jim’s apartment. Good. That meant he was staying. Jim didn’t want to be alone. He hated sleeping alone. Did it all the time. Still hated it.

“Time for sleep?”

Spock inclined his head but Jim saw the hesitation again, the doubt, and Jim tried very hard not to give into the panic. Was Spock already regretting them?

Jim walked past him to the bed and pulled back the covers. He looked over his shoulder at Spock, afraid of what he’d see there. But Spock just looked like Spock as he approached the bed and got in next to Jim.

It was Spock who ordered the lights off as Jim snuggled up to him.

****

“The Enterprise will be ready one month earlier than originally anticipated.”

Jim looked up from his PADD at Spock who had just emerged from the bedroom, showered and dressed in black slacks and a gray sweater. He held his own PADD in his hands.

“I was just reading that myself.” Jim reached for his coffee. “I made you tea.”

“Thank you, Jim.” Spock walked over to him and touched his fingers to Jim’s.

Jim smiled. “There’s cranberry orange scones, too.”

Spock picked one off the plate. “You purchased these, Captain?”

He laughed. “No. I made them.”

“I was unaware you baked.”

“I’m full of surprises, Mr. Spock.”

“Indeed.” Spock took his tea and scones and sat down beside Jim. “What are your plans for the day?”

“Since we leave for New Vulcan tomorrow, I need to meet with the admiralty. I’m afraid it’s going to last most of the day.”

Spock nodded. “Nyota has returned from visiting her family and has asked to meet me for lunch.”

“So things are okay still between you two?”

“It appears so.”

Jim’s PADD beeped there was a message. He looked down at it. His heart froze in his chest. For a moment all he could do was stare.

“Jim?”

“Um. I better get ready.” He stood up abruptly, knocking the chair over. “Sorry.” He picked up the chair and then his PADD, but it slipped from his nerveless fingers to the floor.

Spock picked it up, glancing at the screen. “What is this?”

“A rose. It’s nothing. Thanks.” Jim took the PADD, smiled at Spock, before leaning down to kiss him softly on the lips. “See you later?”

“Yes, Jim. I will be here when you return from your meetings.”

Jim headed for the door. “Lock up, will you?”

“I will.”

“Most secure code, okay?”

“As you wish.”

“Can’t be too careful. Been some robberies in this neighborhood.” This time Spock didn’t reply, so Jim slipped out the door and made his way to HQ.

****

“How are things between you and the captain?”

“I am uncertain,” Spock admitted, placing his menu down on the table.

“Uncertain? What’s wrong? You seemed happy when you first got together.”

“Jim is…not what I expected.”

Nyota picked up her coke and sipped it through the straw. “I don’t understand.”

“I do not either. He is holding himself back.”

“Well, that doesn’t totally surprise me. From what I know from Leonard, he hasn’t really done a relationship before. Maybe he doesn’t know how to act?”

“Perhaps,” Spock acknowledged, “I am left always believing I am doing something wrong. It is unsettling.”

“You could talk to him?”

Spock nodded. “I suspect I will have to.”

“You’re not regretting anything, are you?”

“My own feelings? Negative. My regret is that I seem unable to be what it is he wants or needs me to be.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Spock.” She put her hand on his. “He’s always been a little closed off. Just try opening him a little more. New Vulcan might be just the place to try.”

Spock agreed as the waiter came to take their order.

Where My Demons Hide, Chapter 2

“You two had sex.”

“What?” Jim laughed. “You’re crazy, Bones.” God, he hoped he wasn’t blushing. He didn’t dare even glance at Spock. He just chose the seat directly across from Bones and sat down, noting out of the corner of his eye that Spock sat to Jim’s right.

“I may be crazy,” Bones allowed. “But you two still had sex.”

“No, we didn’t,” Jim insisted. He glanced around the relatively quiet restaurant, relieved no one seemed to be paying attention to Bones and his proclamations.

“You’re lying.” Bones was now pointedly looking at Spock. “What about Uhura?”

“Bones.”

“Nyota and I remain friends,” Spock replied from behind his menu.

Jim thought that was a pretty good idea and lifted his own in front of his face.

“You got any more of those tracking device rocks?”

“Bones, give it a damn rest,” Jim said sharply.

“Touchy tonight, aren’t we?” Bones said with a smirk. “So, anyway, what are you going to have, Jim?”

“The Beef Bourguignon.”

“Pretty good choice. The vegetarian choices begin on page three, Spock.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

Bones lowered his own menu. “Think I’m going to have the fried chicken. I decided to go see Jo in two days. You want to come with me?”

Jim set his own menu down and reached for the glass of water that was at his seat. “Actually I’ve already got plans for the next month or so.”

“Going to see your mom?”

Jim glanced at Spock who was still carefully perusing the menu. “No. Going with Spock to New Vulcan.”

“New Vulcan? You two aren’t getting secretly married or anything, are you?”

“Bones! Jesus. No. I swear to God I’m going to strangle you.”

Bones laughed. “Kidding, Jim. You really are touchy.”

“I invited the captain to New Vulcan so that he could assist me with some projects there,” Spock said, setting his menu down.

“Projects, huh?”

“Indeed. We will be there for a duration of one month. There will be no marriage ceremonies—secret or otherwise.”

“Good to know,” Bones said with a nod. “So, are you two a—”

“Bones.”

“What? I’m just asking. We’re friends. We serve together. It would be nice to know.”

“The captain and I are exploring a new aspect of our relationship.”

A waitress appeared at their table and they all ordered.

“A new aspect, huh?”

Jim sighed. ”You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Probably not,” Bones acknowledged. “The two of you are too much fun to tease.”

Jim’s communicator beeped. He frowned down at it. “I have to take this. Be back.”

He rose from his seat and walked away from the table.

****

Spock’s gaze followed Jim as he headed out in the direction of the restaurant’s foyer. There was something very wrong. He could see it in the set of the captain’s shoulders.

The doctor was chattering on about something, his visit to his daughter, Spock thought, but he only half listened. He was sure he gave the appropriate answers.

But when Jim still had not returned after more than fifteen minutes and their food arrived, Spock stood.

“Doctor, I am going in search of the captain.”

“Yeah, he is taking a long time. You want me to come along?”

“Not at present,” Spock replied.

When he reached the restaurant’s foyer there was no sign of Jim so he went to the hostess. “Did you see my companion pass through here?”

“Yes, sir. He went out those doors.”

Spock turned and exited through the doors she had indicated and found himself on the sidewalk at the back of the restaurant. He caught sight of Jim immediately. He was leaning against a wall, his hands covering his eyes. Spock increased his pace to reach Jim faster.

“Jim?”

Jim did not react at first, so Spock reached for his wrists to pull his hands away from his eyes. They were wet and red, obviously from crying. Alarm shot through Spock.

“Jim?”

“There-s-there’s been an accident,” Jim whispered. “Chekov—” He thrust his communicator at Spock.

Spock glanced down at the communicator but there was nothing there. Just Jim’s communicator. Spock’s gaze rose.

“He didn’t make it.”

Spock sucked in a breath. For a moment Jim swam in front of him, moving out of focus. Spock closed his eyes, forced control. There was an ache in his side that had not been there a moment ago. But he opened his eyes and refocused on Jim. Jim would need him.

“I grieve with thee,” he said softly, reaching for Jim. He was not sure what to do other than to embrace Jim as Nyota had done for him during moments of grief. Jim sagged against him.

“How am I supposed to get through this, Spock?”

“Together we will, Jim.” Spock held him tighter. “Together as always.”

“I can’t go back in there.”

“You do not have to. I will go and inform the doctor. Wait here.” Spock placed a chaste kiss on Jim’s forehead and went back into the restaurant to break the news to Leonard.

****

“What can I do for you?”

“You don’t have to stay with me, Spock,” Jim said from where he stood by the window of his apartment, looking out at San Francisco.

Spock did not bother to respond for of course he did have to stay with Jim. And he had a feeling Jim knew it too.

“Coffee?”

“No. I think it would just sour in my stomach right now.” Jim pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. “He was just a kid.”

“I know.” Spock went into the kitchen and brewed some tea, because he needed to do something. He was aware he was not very good at offering humans emotional comfort. He did try, but it was not something he had ever practiced. His mother had been very strong and though there were times when he thought he saw hurt in her eyes or a slip of her mask of strength, she continued to maintain the façade in front of both her husband and son. It often occurred to Spock how difficult it must have been for her with two Vulcans to subdue her emotional side.

When he came out of the kitchen with tea he saw that Jim had begun to shake. He had his arms wrapped around himself and he was trembling. Spock set the tea down and went to him, wrapping his own arms around Jim from behind and pulling him close.

“It’s unfair,” Jim whispered. “All that we went through. All that he went through and it-it ends like this.”

Spock once heard it said that death too no prisoners and he’d always thought it an odd saying. And it offered absolutely no comfort.

“He apparently did not suffer much,” Spock said softly. “It happened quickly.”

“I’ve-I’ve lost people. Lots of people. Why is this so damn hard? Why does it hurt this much?” Jim turned in his arms and buried his wet face in Spock’s neck.

“You were close to him. You spent time with his every day for years. We were all close. It is like the loss of a family member.”

“Yeah.”

“The best thing we can do is keep him in our memories and in our hearts. Yes?”

Jim nodded against him. “You’re right.” His hand twisted in Spock’s sweater. “It’s better with you here. I know I told you that you didn’t have to stay but…will you?”

“There is nowhere else I would be,” Spock assured him. “I made tea. If you would like some.”

“That sounds good.” But when Spock went to move away, Jim’s grip on his sweater tightened so Spock stayed where he was. Where he

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