Jim’s gaze flew to his. “What exactly are you imagining you’re saying?”
Spock glanced around the observation deck. “I am not certain this is the place for this kind of conversation. Any moment someone else could come and…may we adjourn to either my quarters or yours?”
“Spock—”
“Please.” Spock straightened. “I ask that I am given the chance you gave my counterpart from that universe.”
Jim looked heavenward, but then nodded. “Yours then. I can leave then if necessary.”
Spock tried not to let that sharp comment sting but it was difficult. Still he took some relief in Jim’s ready agreement.
They didn’t speak as they left the observation deck and headed to the turbolift that would talk them to deck with officer quarters.
They bypassed the door to Jim’s and went right to Spock’s. He entered his access code and the door opened to let them inside.
Jim preceded Spock inside, but the moment the door closed he turned to face Spock, arms crossed in front of his chest in a clear defensive matter.
The sound of pleading in his own voice disturbed him.
“Help me to understand. Why would you…why would you choose intimacy with him?”
“God.” Jim’s expression crumbled and for a moment, Spock feared his captain would cry. How would Spock handle such a thing if he did?
“Jim—”
“Because he wanted me.”
“There are many who want you,” Spock pointed out.
“I can’t believe I have to spell this out. He was a replacement for the one I really wanted.”
Spock took a step back. “Me?”
Jim laughed. “Yeah. Stupid, right? So incredibly stupid.”
“You never said. Never gave any indication that you thought of me in any such way.”
“Was I supposed to? You were with Uhura! For years. How exactly did you expect me to tell you? And I don’t go after someone else’s partner.”
Spock stared, taking that in. Analyzing it. “But you did precisely that with the other Spock if he was with his captain.”
This time tear drops appeared on the edge of Jim’s eyes and Spock felt instant remorse.
“Yeah, you got me there. It was a moment of weakness. The object of my every dream wanted me with so much intensity I couldn’t resist. And now I’m dealing with the fallout from that.”
“Fallout?”
“Having something for a brief time that I don’t actually have. I’m here and he’s there, back presumably with his captain. And here? I’m alone.”
And just like that, as though their conversation was over and so many things were left unsaid, Jim made to move past him.
Before he allowed himself to think, Spock reached out and grabbed Jim’s wrist to prevent him from leaving.
Something curled in Spock’s stomach, ugly and fluttery and painful. It rose from there and caused a dull pain in his side where his heartbeat.
“I…do not understand.” He was flustered and repeating himself but his logical brain could not compute.
“I know you don’t understand!”
And just like that the cheerful pretense Kirk had been displaying vanished as though it had never been there. Instead there was angry fire in his blue eyes.
“And that’s exactly the problem, Spock. You just never get it.”
“Jim, I—”
“You were with Uhura for years—”
“We are not together anymore,” Spock interrupts.
“Yeah you’ve been broken up for five minutes,” Jim said, sarcastically. “You were together for years, Spock. Years. And you never moved forward. Never bonded. Never married. You were satisfied with…I don’t even know what you were satisfied with. Your commitment to not commit.”
“Why are you so angry? You were explaining what happened in the alternate universe with my counterpart.”
Jim sighed heavily and turned away. “In that universe Spock loves his captain. When I returned from the mission, he thought I was his captain. As soon as I got to the captain’s quarters, Spock was all over me.”
“He forced himself on you?”
“No! I wanted it. He was full of passion and heat and was so hungry for me. It was intoxicating. I couldn’t get enough.”
Each word was like a lash against Spock’s heart.
“When he finally realized I was not his captain, it didn’t matter to either of us. We continued being together. Neither of us knew if I would come back here or his Kirk would return there, so we continued with each other, and he protected me from the reality of all that.”
Jim turned around to face him once more.
“It was the most amazing experience of my life.”
Spock blinked. He thought he might just vomit.
“It should have been with you,” Jim whispered hoarsely. “But I knew it never would be.”
He’d almost called out Jim, but Spock was still somewhat unsure how far their friendship had progressed and though Kirk had once or twice told Spock it was fine to use his first name, and Spock had even done so a few times, there was something about Jim’s stance as he stood by the observation window that made him abort and switch to captain.
Still Jim turned to him with a warm, welcoming smile.
“Is there a problem with the ship, Mr. Spock?”
It was said cheerfully yet Spock detected an edge behind it. It was perplexing and he couldn’t have explained why it seemed strange.
“Negative. It was for a more personal matter that I sought you out.”
“Yeah?” He stepped over slightly to allow Spock to stand beside him. “I’ve heard you pretty much threw our counterparts right in the brig the minute they beamed aboard.”
“It was not as quickly as that, but it did not take long. They were very confused by what they encountered and unlike your party found themselves unable to adapt to their new surroundings. It took them quite a long time to guess they were no longer in the universe they had known.”
Kirk nodded. “I’m sure it was a shock considering what they were used to.”
“And yet you kept your cool and managed to do a very good job of blending in there.”
“Mm. I think it’s easier to play barbaric than civilized.”
“You may be correct.”
His captain smiled. “Was there anything else?”
Spock felt confused. He blew out a long breath. “None of that was of a personal nature,” he said carefully.
“No?” Kirk looked genuinely quizzical and that made two of them. “What then? You need a leave or something?”
“A leave? I do not. This does not concern me personally, but rather you.”
Kirk laughed then. “Me?”
“You have not said much about your experience in the other universe. I wished to know if you need…if there is someone you would like to confide in regarding your experience.”
Kirk didn’t respond for a long time and in fact he had turned away from Spock to gaze out at the stars.
“If you suffered abuse—”
“I didn’t.” The words were a soft whisper. “It wasn’t like that at all.”
“What was it like? The others implied the Terran Empire was ruthless and brutal.”
“Yes, it was. As far as I could tell, the Terran Empire is ruled by cruel and violent Humans who desire power above all things. Life means nothing to them. Not their own nor anyone else’s.”
“But you did not experience this firsthand?”
“I might have.”
“You…might have?”
“But he protected me.”
Spock frowned. “Who? I do not understand, Captain.”
Jim gave him a ghost of a smile and shook his head. “I know you don’t. And that’s why I haven’t said anything. In that universe, there never was a Nyota. Not for him.”
Spock tilted his head.
“Spock protected me in that universe. We were lovers.”
*While I hope to finish this little story this week, please note that I will be gone Thursday-Sunday for my nephew’s Vegas wedding so there are simply no guarantees. If it’s not, you can expect it to be next week. *
Jim found himself being helped off the floor by the strong arms of his mysterious savior, Spock.
For a moment, Jim found himself gripping Spock’s forearms and clinging to them as he slammed the back door closed with his foot. He peered through the dark window out at the night.
“Jim?”
“Something’s out there.”
“Where?”
Jim pointed with a shaky hand. “Out in the back. I heard it breathing.”
Spock pushed Jim behind him. “Stay here. I will look.”
Jim reached for and grabbed him again. “You aren’t going out there, are you?”
“How else am I to look for the breather?”
“Haven’t you seen Halloween?”
Spock frowned. “Halloween?”
“Yeah. Michael Myers.”
Spock gave him a look and once more pushed Jim away. “I am not afraid. Wait here.”
Spock opened the back door and went outside.
Jim looked around and found his crowbar and then followed Spock outside, crowbar at the ready.
“Spock? Where are you?”
“Here, Jim.”
Spock’s voice came from the side of the house, so Jim made his over there. Spock stood by himself.
“Nothing?”
“Negative. I hear no breathing either.”
Jim frowned. “I heard it. Something or someone was chasing me. Where were you, Spock? I called out.”
“I was in the front yard making certain everything was secure while you slept. I apologize, I did not hear you had risen.”
He blew out a breath and nodded.
Spock encircled Jim’s arm with his hand. “Let’s go back inside. You shouldn’t be running around, exerting yourself after your concussion.”
Jim allowed Spock to draw him back into the house, but he still felt uneasy.
“This isn’t right.”
“Jim?”
He looked around, turning in circles. “I don’t live here. Not like this. This is too…new.”
“New?”
“The house should look older than this.” He stopped turning and put his hand over his face. “Where’s Becky?”
“I do not know Becky.”
Jim lowered his hand and looked at Spock. “I don’t think I do either.”
“Jim—”
“What’s going on here, Spock? Is someone gaslighting me? Are you?”
“I am not.” Spock reached up to the beanie on his head. “However…”
Photo by Joonas ku00e4u00e4riu00e4inen on Pexels.com
Jim woke up later, not even remembering falling asleep. He was still in the bed in the farmhouse, but he appeared to be alone and he wasn’t sure if he’d dreamed the whole way too attractive beanie man.
And where had the idea the guy was attractive from? Jim had only ever been interested in women. Right?
But there was that dream.
Jim sat up and looked around. He could see through the window that night had fallen. He turned on the bedside lamp and saw by the clock on the wall it was nearly eight. Why was he sleeping this early?
Perhaps he really had a concussion and the beanie man had been there. There was no sign of a soup bowl or a TV tray though.
He got out of bed and went into the bathroom to pee. With the light on, he looked in the mirror and saw that he did have bruising on his neck above the collarbone.
Not a dream.
Jim headed downstairs then, feeling vaguely woozy.
The light was on in the kitchen and a discarded mug was in the sink.
“Is anyone here? Spock?”
He didn’t know why but the house suddenly felt eerie, and like it didn’t belong to him.
Jim grabbed his windbreaker off the coat tree and went out the back door. He shrugged it on and glanced at the sky. A storm seemed to be approaching as clouds gathered over the moon. It looked spooky like one of those pictures you might see with a witch on a broom flying by the moon.
“Spock? Are you out here?”
He heard the snap of a twig and he swung around to look behind him. But there was nothing. He suddenly wished he had a phaser.
A what?
“Hello? Who’s out here?”
Because he was pretty sure he could hear someone breath. His heart pounded hard in his chest. He walked quickly back toward the house, which suddenly seemed miles away though he hadn’t gone that far.
The breathing he could hear became heavy, like panting, and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end.
He grabbed the handle of the door, but it wouldn’t budge. It was like the door was locked.
Impossible.
Jim turned, pushing his back against the door, but there was nothing and no one there. At least that he could see.
The door suddenly opened and he fell backwards inside.
When Spock returned with the bowl of chicken noodle soup on a tv tray, Jim had a chance to view it with some suspicion.
“You didn’t add poison to it, did you?”
“Why would I add poison?” Spock seemed genuinely perplexed but Jim thought he could simply be a good actor.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean I don’t actually know you. It’s weird that you knew where I lived. I didn’t tell you, right?”
“I did not obtain the information directly from you today. Do you have poison in your house?”
Jim thought about it. “Not something that actually has a skull and crossbones on it, no.” He put his spoon into the soup and took a tentative taste. He waited a moment, then nodded. “Seems all right. Would you please go into the medicine cabinet in my bathroom and get me a couple of aspirin?”
“I am not certain you should have aspirin.”
Jim smiled. “I have a headache. I want aspirin. It would be nice if you could bring it to me but if not I’ll get it my own damn self.”
Spock arched a brow. A gesture that seemed weirdly familiar. “I will get it.”
Jim continued to eat while Spock retrieved the aspirin along with a glass of water.
“So who was that McCoy guy? Do you know him?”
Spock handed him the aspirin and water. “Why do you ask?”
“He might be trying to kill me.”
Spock sat on the edge of the bed. “Kill you?”
“Weird things have been happening to me the last few days. Noises, lights. I swear someone’s been watching me. And my memory’s getting wonky. All of a sudden the old dean is replaced by this McCoy and just as I was leaving his office he held up this giant needle that he seemed to want to inject into me.”
Spock listened to everything he said without expression. “That is an interesting theory.”
“And you.” Jim waved his spoon. “You just appear out of the blue staring at me.”
“You are an attractive person.”
Jim blinked. “I don’t even know what to do with that. And then today when I’m trying to get away from McCoy, you appear and I lose consciousness.”
“And I take you home,” Spock said. “Were I intending to do you harm, would I do that?”
“I definitely can’t figure out that part. Why do you wear that beanie anyway? Are you bald under there and want to hide it?”
Jim woke to a warm hand on his face. He was lying down and not on the hard asphalt he would have expected given he had collapsed in the parking lot. And why had he anyway? Ordinarily he was not the fainting sort. He was pretty sure about that. “You are awake.” The voice was familiar and yet not. It made him feel…safe. Which was altogether odd. He opened his eyes slowly and found himself staring into very dark brown eyes. Dark chocolate framed by long lashes. And strangely arched eyebrows. And a woolen forest green beanie pulled down over the tips of his ears. “You,” Jim said, softly. The man’s head tilted at an angle and for a moment Jim felt queasy. “I apologize. You hit your head when you fell. You likely have a concussion.” “Where…” “You are in the bed of your own room in the farmhouse you are currently residing in.” Jim turned his head to look, but it hurt to do so. “Easy. Do not try to move too quickly.” “Do I know you?” The man looked pensive and he seemed to hesitate before responding. “Here where you are now you do not.” “But…you know where I live?” “I do,” he admitted. “It is complicated.” Jim didn’t think he was up to complicated things right now. His head was still fairly fuzzy though it only seemed to ache when he tried to move it. “That man.” “What man?” “The dean at the college. He called himself McCoy, I think.” The beanie man nodded. “Do not worry about that now, Jim.” “What…who are you?” “I am Spock.” “Spock,” Jim whispered and somehow that name seemed…well, he didn’t know what it seemed. “It will be all right, Jim,” Spock assured him. “I am going to assist you in sitting up and then I am going to give you some tea to drink. Are you hungry?” “I think so.” Spock put his hands under Jim’s torso and carefully lifted him into a seating position on the bed. He’d already propped up pillows for Jim to lean against. Jim blinked. “My shoulder up by my neck hurts a bit.” He tried to turn his head to see but of course couldn’t. “There is a slight bruise there, but it will fade and become less painful.” “A bruise? Weird.” “Indeed,” Spock murmured. He reached over and took a mug from the bedside table and handed it to Jim. “Here is your tea.” He took a sip from the warm tea. “How’d you get into the house?” “I found the key on your person.” Jim nodded, wondering what to think about that. His mind seemed too fuzzy to give it much consideration, and for the moment anyway he didn’t seem to be in any immediate danger. And the weirdest part was that he wanted to trust Spock. Which was probably crazy and due to having a head injury. “If you will continue to drink your tea, I will go and make you some food. What would you like?” “I think I have a can of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup.” “Canned soup?” Jim smiled a little and nodded. Spock shrugged slightly. “Very well. I will be back with your soup. Try not to move too much.” “Okay.” And Jim watched Spock leave the bedroom. He still was…missing something. He didn’t know what.
Jim narrowed his eyes at the short but lanky man with the moustache standing by his trash cans.
“Clyde?”
“Evening, Mr. Kirk.”
“What are you doing?” He lowered the crowbar.
“Becky called me from New York, said you had some racoon problems and to come on out and set up some traps.”
Clyde was Becky’s cousin. Didn’t have a very high IQ but he was a nice man.
Clyde stepped away from the cans. “I don’t see any signs of racoons, Mr. Kirk. But I set out traps anyhow.”
“It’s Jim. What do you see signs of?”
Clyde shrugged. “Nothing really. No signs of rats or racoons. But maybe you wouldn’t see anything specific. Traps are set now though, so I’ll come check on them in a day or two if that’s all right with you, Mr. Kirk.”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Jim glanced around where the trash cans were and over toward the front yard. “See anything else around, Clyde?”
“Like what?”
Yeah, what, Jim? Glowing red eyes?
“I don’t really know, I guess. Anything weird I suppose.”
Clyde looked at Jim like maybe he was crazy and Jim wasn’t sure he was far off. So he smiled.
“You want a shot of whiskey for your trouble?”
“Wasn’t any trouble, but I’ll take the whiskey.”
Jim hesitated. He didn’t necessarily want Clyde in the house. He didn’t really have any issues with Clyde, but he didn’t exactly trust him either. Becky had mentioned once that her cousin sometimes stole things. Not usually from people he knew, but still.
“I’ll bring it right out,” Jim said. “You wait here.”
“I will, Mr. Kirk.”
Jim went into his house and over to his liquor cabinet. He quickly poured two shots of whiskey and then brought them back out the front door. True to his word, Clyde stood just where Jim had left him.
He handed a shot to Clyde and kept one for himself.
Clyde didn’t immediately drink the shot, but instead asked, “You and Becky going to be married someday?”
Jim wasn’t sure exactly how to answer that. For Clyde, yeah, but most especially for himself.
So he settled on the vague, “She wants to, I think.”
Clyde nodded and thew back the shot. Jim followed suit, feeling it burn down his throat.
Clyde handed the empty shot glass to Jim. “I’ll be on my way now, Mr. Kirk. I’ll check back on those traps like I said. And if you need anything else, you give me a call.
Jim called after him as he headed for his truck, “You want some money?”
“Nope, that’s all right.”
And just a few minutes later he was gone. Jim watched him until the lights from his truck faded away out of sight.
He set the shot glasses down on the porch and walked to where the pumpkins and scarecrows were. He clenched the crowbar.
Looking for what? Again, he really had no clue. And not surprisingly he didn’t see anything anyway.
With a shake of his head at his only foolishness, grabbed the glasses and went back into the house. Double locking the front door. Then he double locked the back door too.
And just before he went to sleep, he thought he heard a whisper.
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 