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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

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March Flashes

Flash Fic, March 30, 2022

Jim found her in Sam’s childhood room, looking over all the framed work he had on the walls. It hadn’t been removed even after Sam had left the Kirk farmhouse for, at the time, parts unknown.

She had stopped in front of a framed quote Sam had up there. Jim was well familiar with it.

“What though the radiance which was once so bright

Be now for ever taken from my sight,

Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower;

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind;

In the primal sympathy

Which having been must ever be;

In the soothing thoughts that spring

Out of human suffering;

In the faith that looks through death,

In years that bring the philosophic mind.”

She turned to him then, smiling, her arms opened to receive his embrace. “I knew you’d come.”

“Of course I came,” he whispered, as she hugged him so hard it nearly hurt. She had strength, Winona Kirk.

“That was his favorite, that quote.”

“I know.”

She still held him. “You came alone?”

“Uh-huh. Took the shuttle out of San Francisco this morning. Spock had a meeting.”

She finally loosened her grip, but only to lean back to look at him. He’d worn his dress uniform here, not bothering to change, and he felt stiff and hot and uncomfortable in it.

“You look far too tired. Did you sleep at all?”

Jim shook his head. “Not much.”

His mother sighed and moved out of his arms to stretch her arms out indicating Sam’s old room.

“It’s stupid, you know. I feel closer to him here though he hasn’t been here in years.”

“Well, if it helps, who cares the reason?”

She smiled then, strained though it was, and she took his hand. “I don’t understand how this could have happened.”

“Deneva became inhabited by—”

She shushed him. “I know all the official details.  I want to know why once more I have to grieve for a member of my family. Why do I keep losing people I love?” She bit her lip. ”It’s not fair.”

Life wasn’t fair. Anybody who’d done any kind of living knew that. But his mom didn’t need to hear that nor would she want to.

“I’m sorry.”

“He was my son and I have to outlive him. He was a scientist! Not dangerous at all.” She closed her eyes. “Not like you and you had to go and die too.”

“Mom.”

“Don’t tell me again it was a mistake to tell me about that. The mistake was you dying. The mistake was letting you join Starfleet.”

Jim didn’t remind her he was an adult when he enlisted.

She turned her back on him to get herself under control.

When she turned back around her eyes no longer overflowed tears, but wetness stained her cheeks.

“How long can you stay?”

“A few days.”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him from the room and down the stairs. “I’ll make us some coffee.”

“Okay. Let me go get out of this uniform, okay?”

“All right. But just change in the bathroom down here. I don’t want to let you out of my sight for too long.”

Jim took his bag into the down stairs bathroom and sent a quick text to Spock.

I’ve arrived. She’s pretty hysterical.

He expected an immediate response, but was surprised when it didn’t come. Spock had to be busy then.

When he emerged a few minutes later dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, she was waiting for him, holding a mug of cream filled coffee.

He took it, smiled, and took a sip. “Haven’t had coffee this good in a long time.”

“Nothing can happen to you.”

“Mom.”

“Don’t Mom me. You have to promise.”

“It’s not that easy. Being the captain of a starship, I can’t promise that.”

She seemed to draw into herself. “At least you have Spock there to watch out for you. Right?”

“Yes.”

“I think he’ll do his best to keep you out of harm’s way.”

“He will.”

The tears flowed again. “You’re my baby, I can’t lose you too.”

“You won’t,” he whispered.

She put her coffee down and so did Jim as she threw her arms around him once more. He held her tight and let her cry.

“I can’t believe Sam’s gone.”

“I know, I’m so sorry.”

“Promise me, Jim. You have to promise me.”

He closed his eyes. “I promise.”

There was a knock on the door and they both pulled away from the embrace with a frown.

“Probably Mrs. Whatley with another one of her lemon cakes,” his mom said with a sniff.

Jim perked up at that. “Lemon cake?”

He went to the front door and opened it and—

“Oh, my God.”

For Spock stood there, looking about as wonderful as anyone could, and Jim pulled him close, holding him so tight, he might be hurting him.

“You came.”

“Of course I came.” Spock looked behind Jim to Jim’s mom. “I grieve with thee.”

“Come inside, before we all freeze,” she fussed, yanking them both inside the house and pulling both into an embrace of her own. “Thank you. Thank you.”

Flash Fic, March 28, 2022

Having a bit of fun with this, totally modern setting

“I think the guy next door’s a monk or something.” Jim lowered his phone for just a second as he eyed the door to the apartment next to his. He carried a pizza box. He was talking to his mom.

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve seen him walking in wearing this gown thing. Well, you know, not a gown, but like a robe a Tibetan monk word wear or something.”

“They’re Buddhist.”

“Yeah, so maybe, I don’t know. But he wears a hood. Do they wear hoods?”

His mother laughed. “How should I know? How long has he lived there?”

Jim used his key to unlock his own apartment. He stepped inside and closed the door with a kick, ignoring the jaw jarring slam.

“I dunno. A week or so. I never see him without that hood.” Jim put the pizza box on the counter and the fridge for a beer. He twisted the top and took a swig from the bottle. “Long day. How’s Dad?”

“Fussing about still being in the hospital, but better.”

“He had triple bypass.”

“I know but you know your father.”

“Can’t wait to see him next week.” Jim yawned. “I should probably go and eat my pizza.”

“Okay, sweetie, talk soon.”

Jim set his cell down and glanced toward the apartment wall he shared with the “monk”. With a shrug, he picked up his beer and pizza box and grabbed his keys.

It took a few knocks on his neighbor’s door before it opened.

“Hi, I have a pizza and I was wondering if you’d like to have some. I’m your next door neighbor by the way. I teach at the University.”

The guy, hood and all, eyed Jim. “Does it have meat?”

“Just cheese.” Jim paused. “You a veggie”

“Vegetarian, yes. But I will eat some cheese.”

Jim was surprised when he stood aside to let Jim inside.

“Jim.”

“Spock.”

Jim set the pizza down on the table. “I could get you a beer if you want.”

“No. I have Sake.” Spock replied. “It is Japanese.”

Jim smiled. “Yeah, I know.” He peered at Spock as he took another drink of his beer. “Are you a monk then?”

“No.” Spock lowered his hood. “A Vulcan.”

Flash Fic, March 25, 2022

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

“Hey, are you okay?”

Sulu looked surprised by his appearance and his question. Maybe he ought to check on his helmsman more often, but Sulu was always the one crew member Kirk never had to worry about. He was as solid as solid could be.

Well, until now.

Of course, Kirk had heard the rumors that Sulu’s marriage was in trouble, but he didn’t listen to rumors. He hadn’t listened to the rumors Spock and Uhura had broken up for good nor that Kirk was the reason. That’s why he had been dumbstruck when Spock had grabbed him after a mission gone wrong again, and kissed him breathless. Spock had told him he was surprised Kirk didn’t know what everyone else did.

So yeah, Kirk didn’t pay attention to that.

But it was plain enough Sulu was hurting. He’d gotten rip-roaring drunk, took out his fencing sword and sent a group of first years scrambling for engineering.

He was now in the observation deck, still swinging that sword around, though fortunately not at Kirk.

“Sure, I’m okay.” Tears were streaming down his face. “Pavel’s dead and I haven’t seen my husband and daughter in fifteen months. But sure, I’m just peachy.”

Spock suddenly appeared behind Kirk and he went to move forward, his stance threatening because of the swinging fencing foil, but Kirk stopped him, holding him back.

“I’ve got this,” he whispered.

“He is—”

“Spock, I’ve got this. It’s okay. I’ll see you in our quarters.”

Spock wanted to argue, Kirk could see that, but he went anyway.

Sulu lowered his foil. “You get to work with your lover. It’s not fair. You guys share quarters even. Do you know how hard it is to maintain a healthy relationship long distance?”

Kirk did, but he knew that wasn’t the answer Sulu needed then.

“Would you like some time off, Hikaru? To spend with Ben and your daughter? I can approve a leave.” Kirk moistened his lips. “Chekov’s passing has hit us all hard and brings it really close to home just how isolated we are out here.”

“For-for how long?”

“How long do you want?”

“Six months? Is that too much to ask?”

“I’ll see.” He paused.  “I don’t want this, but it’s possible for you to request some kind of transfer to Yorktown to be with them full-time.”

Sulu shook his head. “I love my life on the Enterprise. I-I just wish…”

“I know. Take the leave. I know I can give you at least three months.”

Sulu nodded and swallowed. “Thank you, Captain. And I’m sorry I scared everyone. If I’m excused, I think I need to go throw up.”

Kirk smiled faintly. “You’re excused.”

Sulu left the observation deck and Jim walked to the view, looking out at the stars. Only seconds later, he sensed his first officer coming up behind him.

“You didn’t go to our quarters.”

“He had a sword.”

Kirk chuckled. “He was not threat.”

Spock shrugged. “There is no sense taking chances.”

His smile slipped and he pulled Spock into a hug. “Yeah, I know. I know.”

They all missed Chekov and Kirk wasn’t sure things would ever go back to the way it was before. But they would survive and thrive again.

But the Enterprise was all many of them knew. Their quarters was their home.

“Come on, babe, let’s go home.”

Flash Fic, March 23, 2022

“Oh good you’re awake.”

Leonard frowned and gazed up at his best friend as he rested on the biobed. “Isn’t that my line?”

“Usually. Listen, M’Benga says you’re going to be just fine, but you gotta rest for a couple of days. You took a nasty spill,” Jim told him.

“Rest? A couple of days? I don’t have time for that!”

“Now, Bones, calm down.” Jim patted his head. “I’m going to tell you what you always tell me and Spock.”

“You two are a couple of idiots. That’s different.”

“Uh-huh. Dr. M’Benga is a medical professional who knows exactly what he’s doing. Now be a good patient and rest like you’re told.”

“I feel fine,” Leonard grumbled.

“I’m sure. But you’re still resting in here for two days.” Jim paused dramatically. He was always dramatic as far as Leonard could tell. “Captain’s orders.”

“So, you’re gonna pull rank on me huh?”

“Yep.”

Leonard frowned. “You look far too happy about that. Where’s the hobgoblin?”

“Bones.”

“Fine, where’s Spock?”

“On the bridge taking command while I fret over you.”

“You? Fret over little old me?”

Jim smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehead. Leonard snorted.

“Yes, I worry. I told you, you took a bad spill. Conked your skull. Got yourself a concussion. All that to get out of work.”

Leonard yawned. “I am a bit tired. It might be good to rest.”

“Of course it is.”

“It’s a full-time job looking after you two lug heads.” Leonard sighed. “How’s that going anyway?”

“Me and the other lug head are doing just great.” Jim straightened and stepped away from the biobed. “Go to sleep. I’ll come by to check on you later.”

“You’re enjoying this far too much,” Leonard grumbled.

“Not a chance. Go to sleep. I’m going to go captain.” Leonard sighed, grumbled again, and closed his eyes.   

Flash Fic, March 21, 2022

Since both Primes birthdays are this week (22 and 26) I give you OMS

“Where shall we go for our vacation?”

It was the third time his husband, Jim, had asked him the question, and though in all truthfulness Spock had no particular preference, he supposed he was going to be required to pick a destination.

Still, Spock decided to try one more deflection.

“I do not care. You choose.”

Jim leaned back in his chair and eyed Spock over the rim of his coffee mug.

Jim had made the mug himself; it was one of the many hobbies he had attempted to pick up since he retired from Starfleet. He’s purchased all the equipment and supplied to make his own ceramics.

It had not gone particularly well, and Jim eventually grew bored with it. The kiln had sat unused in the basement of the farmhouse for months before Spock finally took the initiative to sell it.   

All the was left of Jim’s many attempts were the rather blah gray mug he used for his coffee and a bud vase that resembled an erect penis. Spock had hidden it away.

“Vulcan?”

“I have no particular need to go there at present,” Spock replied. “My parents were here on Earth not long ago and we saw them then.“

“You’re not homesick? To see the planet, I mean?”

Spock shrugged. “No.”

“We could go camping again.”

Spock barely refrained from showing a wince. “If that is your wish.”

Jim sighed. “It’s not my wish, Spock. This is your vacation too.”

Spock pursed his lips but did not respond.

“What?”

“It is just that we have been busy and running around for months, lately, years, if you think about it, and only recently have had the opportunity to return here to spend any period of time. I haven’t even been able to fully tend to my garden yet.”

Jim frowned. “Wait, are you saying you don’t want to go anywhere? You want to spend our vacation at home?”

“At one time it was called a ‘staycation’,” Spock explained. “I know that you wish to go somewhere exotic but—”

“No, no.” Jim put down his mug. “If you really want to stay here on the farmhouse, I’m good with it.”

“Are you certain?”

Jim smiled faintly. “Yeah. As long as you don’t mind me helping you with your garden. And putzing around the kitchen making bread.”

“Bread?”

“I got a new bread machine. You can help me.”

Spock nodded. “If you are sure.”

“Sure, sure. I just thought maybe we deserved a relaxing spa vacation or something. But if you want to stay here for a while, just the two of us, how can I refuse?”

“Thank you. I will be rising at five tomorrow.”

“In the morning?”

Spock’s lips twitched. “Yes, but you can join me in the garden later when you get up.”

“Whew.  Glad to hear it. I’ve had enough getting up early to last me a lifetime.”

Spock picked up his tea and took a long sip.

“I should have made you a teacup. You know when I was doing my ceramics.”

Spock nodded. “It is all right. It would have been nice but—”

“I could take it up again and—”

“I sold your equipment.”

Jim deflated.

Spock sighed. “I suppose we could purchase new.”

“Orrrrrr…I have been thinking of taking up painting. A nude of you would be—”

“No.”

Jim might be bored, occasionally, during their retirement, but with a husband like Jim, Spock was not.

Kris’s Birthday Flash, March 19, 2022

I used Kris’s favorite meal for what Jim wanted in this flash. Enjoy!

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

“Come here.”

Jim pouted petulantly. “No.”

Spock sighed. Walked over to where Jim stood, looking out at the stars on the observation deck. He put his hand on Jim’s back, but Jim shrugged it off.

“I am sorry.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m over it.”

“Obviously you are not. I…I did not think about it.”

Jim pursed his lips but did not respond.

He’d forgotten Jim’s birthday. That was bad enough. But the last birthday Nyota had, Spock remembered it, and had even presented her with flowers, though they were no longer together.

Humans desire to celebrate the passing of each year since their birth was peculiar to Vulcans, but Spock had adjusted to it with his own mother, and then later with Nyota. It hadn’t really occurred to Spock that Jim cared that much. But as Leonard had reminded him, that was also the day that Jim’s father had been killed.

His relationship with Jim was new and untested. This particular test, Spock had failed.  

“Jim, if I could change what happened, I would. There has simply been so much going on lately that I just—”

“Forgot to think of me.”

“No, Jim. I always think of you. Every moment I am awake, every moment before I sleep.”

“You remembered…hers.”

“She made sure of it by constant reminds,” Spock said honestly.

Jim glanced at him. “I wasn’t going to do that.”

“Yes, I know. It led me to the false conclusion that you did not care. I remembered on Yorktown that McCoy had planned your celebration as a surprise because normally you don’t make a big deal of it. From your own words.”

Jim sighed. “And you relied on that. Yeah, I get it. Sorry, Spock.”

“You owe me no apology. I just ask for forgiveness for my own thoughtless ineptitude.”

Jim turned fully to face him. “Never mind. I forgive you.”

Spock nodded and opened his arms. “Come here,” he said again.

This time Jim stepped close as Spock wrapped his arms tightly around him.

“I love you, Jim. And I do not like causing you pain. But I am far from perfect and I will make mistakes, but that does not make me love you any less.”

Jim laid his head on Spock’s shoulder. “I love you too. So much.”

“If you will permit me, I would like to go back to your quarters and prepare for you a meal for your birthday.” He paused. “With the replicators assistance of course.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I wish to.”

Jim pulled back and smiled. “Yeah? Spaghetti?”

“What else?”

“Ice cream for dessert?”

“Of course.”

Jim smiled brighter and kissed him. “And you.”

“Indeed.”

Flash Fic, March 18, 2021

I found one more fic that saw itself deleted, this one in spring 2019. I think it was another case of a comment but I admit I can’t quite remember. I had a plot planned that would explain everything too at the time. It was easier to post this then write a fic, I am lazy!

Anyway …Not Too Few Regrets

Chapter 1

I had expected to surprise her on Mother’s Day with an unexpected visit.

Instead she surprised me.

She was not alone.

As far as I knew, she hadn’t had a man in her life since Frank had disappeared off the face of the Earth. But it wasn’t like she had shared the information with me either way.

Worse was that she and the guy were engaged in…well personal stuff.

I had turned around and walked out of the farmhouse, scrubbing my hand across my face, I don’t know, to rid myself of certain images I had just seen.

She ran after me, thankfully now fully covered in a robe, calling out, “Jim! Stop!”

I did about halfway down the dirt road that led from the house to another road, off the property. My face was flaming hot.

“Surprise,” I muttered.

“It certainly is.” Her mouth was curved into a smile.

I couldn’t meet her gaze. “Er. Sorry. I-I guess I should have let you know.”

“I thought you were still in space.”

“Grounded. Temporarily.”

Her hand touched my arm. “Are you okay? You’re not…something bad hasn’t happened again, has it? Like before?”

She referred to my death, I knew.

“No. No. A leave.”

“Jim! Look at me.”

I did.

“What sort of leave? You aren’t being forced to take one, are you? It’s not a court martial?”

I shook my head.

“Because they’d better not. After all you’ve done for them?”

“No. It’s…I asked for a leave, actually. Personal time,” I admitted.

We both stopped when a hover car came down the road we stood on and paused next to us. In the hover car was the…well the guy Mom had been with.

“Sorry,” he said, sheepishly. “Thought I’d better cut out, er, I mean go. Talk later?”

She smiled. “Yeah. I’ll contact you. Thanks, Rex.”

I squinted at him and realized then who he was. The guy who owned the bar where I got into a fight with Cupcake and his cronies all those years ago. “Hi, Rex.”

“Jim.” He, too, was blushing. And I was pretty sure he was closer to my age then hers. “Nice to see you again.”

I’d seen too much of him, really, but I nodded. “Yeah.”

And then he was gone, leaving us alone again.

She was biting her lip when I looked back at her. “Where’s your stuff?”

“Back in the rental. I left it next to the barn.” I sighed. “I didn’t intend to impose.”

“You aren’t imposing.” She turned back to face the house. “Let’s go into the house.”

I followed her inside and she immediately went into the kitchen and started fussing to make coffee. Every once in a while she looked in my direction.

“Where’s…” She trailed off, looking anxious. “Look, why don’t you go and get your stuff while I go and get fully dressed? You’re staying?”

“Yeah.”

I walked out the side door that provided me a direct path to the barn where I’d left the rental. I stood next to it, staring in at my bags. In there was my personal PADD and I knew it was full of messages. From Bones, Uhura, Sulu, probably all of them, really.

Except…

I opened the door and grabbed my bag and walked back to the farmhouse.

Mom was back in the kitchen, wearing jeans and a pink buttoned down blouse. She was pouring both of us coffee, so I sat at the dining room table and prepared for the inquisition.

She brought over some cookies, too, and I immediately reach for one and started munching on it.

“What’s going on, Jim? I didn’t hear that the Enterprise was anywhere around Earth.”

“It’s not. They dropped me off at a space station and I took other transport from there.”

“I see.” But I could tell from her expression, she didn’t. “And Spock?”

“He’s acting captain.”

She blew out a breath. “And?”

I shook my head, but it was just a delay. There was no other way to say it. “Spock’s seeking a dissolution of our marriage.”

“Why?”

“I’m sure you can figure it out.”

“Not in a million years.”

“I cheated on him,” I said simply.

“You what? Jim. But—”

“We got in a fight on shore leave. A bad one. I got drunk, really drunk, and I fucked someone. Spock found out. That killed his love for me, obviously.”

She stared long and hard at me. “You…didn’t try to convince him otherwise?”

I shrugged. “Why would I? He’s right. I’m a stupid fuck who doesn’t deserve him.”

“But the bonding ceremony—”

“That’s canceled.  Maybe you can get your fare back for the trip you booked to New Vulcan.” It came out really stupidly flippant and I knew it.

For a long time we sat in silence. I knew she was staring at me, watching me, for what, I didn’t even know. But I just kept staring at the half-eaten cookie in my hand instead of looking at her. Shame would do that to a person. Me, anyway.

“I’m honestly at a loss,” she finally whispered. She reached over and covered my other hand with hers. “Are you sure it’s really over?”

I nodded, the miserable lump in my throat keeping me from speaking.

“But you were so in love.”

I closed my eyes then and shook my head. I’d done this to myself. Spock had no part in it and was blameless.

“How-how long is your leave?’

“Indefinite. Under the circumstances, Starfleet isn’t going to expect us to serve together again. Spock doesn’t want long term command. Or he never did anyway. Not really sure what’s going to happen. It’s under review. In the meantime, my crew, my friends, all hate my guts and rightly so. This is why this whole thing is frowned upon by the ‘Fleet, clearly.”

She got up then, taking her now empty cup into the kitchen to rinse out. She looked dazed.

“Look, I’m sorry. You didn’t bargain for any of this. I shouldn’t have come here. I’ll get out of your hair as soon as I can.”

“James Tiberius. Where should you have gone if you couldn’t come to your mama? You aren’t going anywhere.” She came back to the table and sat down. “Promise me one thing.”

I looked at her warily. “What?”

“You aren’t planning on hurting yourself.”

“Mom.”

“Humor me and promise.”

I sighed. “I’m not. Okay? I did this to myself and I live with the consequences.”

“Oh, Jim. I’m so sorry.”

There was nothing to say to that except that I was too, so I said nothing. Just finished my coffee and cookie, then went upstairs to my old room. I went into the attached bathroom and threw up.  

Chapter 2

I went down for dinner later, not because I was hungry, but because she called me down.

“Let’s go, we’re going out,” she informed me.

“I’m not much in the mood—”

“It’s Mother’s Day. I want to go out.”

And really, what could I say to that? I was the one who had arrived and messed with her plans, her day. And so we made the trip into town and over to a little Italian food place that was able to sit us right away, Mother’s Day or not.

“Let’s share a pizza. How’s that?”

“Whatever. I don’t care.”

She nodded and ordered us a large cheese pizza because she knew I hadn’t liked toppings on my pizza. A pitcher of beer with two glasses too.

“I’m sorry I came here to ruin your day.” I shook my head. “I can’t seem to do anything right.”

Mom sighed. “You’re firmly in the self-pity stage I can tell.”

I frowned. “Mom—”

“Jim. Look. You made a mistake. A bad one. I can’t dispute that. And maybe what you say is true and your relationship, your marriage to Spock, is over.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

She snorted. “No. What I’m trying to say, that whatever the future holds for you and Spock, you have to keep living your life, Jim. You need to eat. And you’re here now with me. We haven’t spent any real time together for years.”

“I know. I’m…I’m not in the best state of mind. I shouldn’t have—”

“Don’t say you shouldn’t have come here. You’re here. We’re going to make the best of it. As I was saying, I don’t know if it’s hopeless like you think.”

She paused as the waiter returned with the pitcher of beer and poured a glass for each of us. It was iced cold and completely wonderful tasting. I hadn’t had beer like that since I’d left Earth.

“My experience with Spock was that he was very much in love with you.”

“He was. But that was before I killed it.”

She shrugged. “Maybe you did. I don’t know. But maybe it’s not as hopeless as you imagine.”

“But he—”

“Asked to dissolve your marriage. Yeah. But I’m guessing he was hurt and wasn’t thinking it all the way through. And you didn’t give him any time, either, if I know you. You probably said, ‘yeah, okay, I’m leaving.’” She lifted her beer and gazed at me. “Am I right?’

I toyed with my glass. “What is there to say, really? I did fuck up, Mom. There’s just no excuse for what I did.”

“If it happened the other way, what would you do?”

“Huh?”

She sighed. She took my hand in hers. “Say the same fight happened. But instead of you, Spock went out and got drunk and slept with someone else. What would you do? What would you say to Spock? Would it be over?”

I opened my mouth. Closed it. “I don’t know.” And I realized I meant it. What would I do? I mean I thought Spock hung the moon or I thought I did, but then why in the world had I fucked someone else? What was even wrong with me?

“Well, you should spend some time thinking about it. Would one mistake Spock made when hurt or angry ruin everything for you? Is it unforgiveable to you? Because if it is, then you would have no right to expect it to be forgivable to him.”

At that I shook my head. Picked up my glass and took a swig of beer. “It is unforgiveable to Spock.”

“Do you know that?”

“He asked—”

“I know, I know, we’re back to that. For all your declarations of love to each other, I’m not sure the two of you have ever truly communicated. What your expectations are, what you want for the future. Whether you wanted a family.” She poured more beer from the pitcher into both our glasses. “Even what you plan to do after your careers at Starfleet are over. Jim, have you and Spock talked about any of that?”

I bit my lip and looked down at the table. “No. No, we haven’t.”

The pizza came then and though I was certain it would taste like cardboard or sawdust or something, it was surprisingly delicious, and I had devoured two pieces without even thinking about it.

“I’m not sure what made you two even think you were ready for a big step like marriage and a bond. Sexual attraction isn’t enough, Jim.”

“I know. I mean, I’m crazy about Spock. It’s not just the sex.”

“Maybe not, but something caused you to behave how you did. And until you analyze just what’s going on with you, Jim, you can’t possibly figure out what’s going on with Spock.”

After that I was tired of talking about me, we’d certainly done enough of that, maybe most of my life I had focused too much on me, which got me thinking, but instead I decided to turn off the ‘Story of Jim’, and ask her some questions.

“What’s going on with you and Rex?”

Mom blushed. “Oh that.”

My lips twitched. “Yeah, that. Is it serious?”

“Oh.” She sighed, blowing out a breath that fanned her hair. “I don’t know. It’s kind of soon. I like him.” She studied the slice of pizza on her plate. “But, um, I once liked…”

When she didn’t continue, I continued for her. “Frank,” I said softly.

“Uh-huh. And we know how that went.” She grimaced. “Not sure I have any right to give you advice of any kind about you and Spock.”

“Let’s not talk about that right now. Okay?”

“I’m sorry. I know you’re hurting.”

“Which I completely deserve.” Change of subject again. “Let’s go get ice cream cones after this.”

She smiled. “Yeah okay.”

And I couldn’t really make myself be cheerful, but I did manage a lame sounding, “Happy Mother’s Day.”

Flash Fic, March 16, 2022

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“Just because we had sex doesn’t make us married.”

Those harshly spoken words played over and over in his head like a stuck melody.

He was an ass, no doubt about it, and it had cost him everything.

Now he was alone on shore leave, probably alone period, and nursing a double scotch and staring out to sea, dealing with a broken heart.

He’d spoken unthinkingly, what else is new, in a moment of annoyance at Spock’s rather heavy-handed attitude. Naturally his Vulcan lover, former no doubt, had bristled at the rebuke and excused himself from Jim’s company.

That had been yesterday afternoon and Jim hadn’t seen him since.

Shore leave was over tomorrow. He’d be beaming back on board the Enterprise in late morning.

He only hoped a transfer request wasn’t waiting for him.

He’d rented this cozy little seaside cottage.  The lanai looked out over the ocean, and Jim was reclining on a rattan lounger, doing just that.

He was just a bit startled when a shadow fell across him in the late afternoon sun. He peered up and was startled to see Spock standing above him, looking down in barely disguised disapproval.

“Captain.”

“Commander.”

Jim pursed his lips. He was at fault, he knew he was. But damn it was hard to apologize.

“Spock, listen, I, uh, I was an ass. I’m sorry for what I said. I was drunk and pissy and the stuff you were saying was rubbing me the wrong way.”

“So it is my fault?”

Jim sighed. “No, no, that’s not what I’m saying. It’s completely my fault. And I’m sorry. I hope we can continue to work together as a command team in spite of all that.”

Spock stared at him. “All what?”

“The end of our relationship.” As brief as it was. They’d had sex, what, on two occasions?

“You give up so easily?”

“Well, no, I mean, well I…”

“Jim, if you thought I was overstepping—”

“I did, yes,” Jim admitted. “But the thing is, I don’t have a lot of experience—”

Spock raised his brow.

“With relationships. Other than the sex part.” He paused. “I have that part down.”

The Vulcan nodded. “Clearly.”

“Does that mean…well are we still, uh, you know.”

Spock sighed. “Yes, we still are. However, in the future if you think I am overstepping, I request you find a more polite way to inform me. I am quite aware we are not married.”

Jim winced. “Yeah. Uh. Like I said, I was being an ass. And I’ve thought about it and it was just a slight overstep, and I overreacted. I’m really sorry I spoiled our shore leave.”

“Fortunately, we still have one more night.”

Jim set his scotch down on the ground beside him. “C’mere.”

“We will both not fit.”

“I’ll make us fit.”

Spock shrugged slightly and joined Jim on the lounger. And Jim was right, they fit.

Flash Fic, March 14, 2022

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Spock was aware of Nyota watching him as their captain slipped out of the booth after a muttered, “I’d better take this.”

Spock’s gaze followed after Jim.

Nyota sighed but there was a small smirk on her face. “You’ve got it bad. You’re really in love.”

He thought about denying it, thought to do so was idiotic, and shrugged instead.

“It’s all you can do not to get up and follow after him,” she continued. “Anyone else wouldn’t notice, but I know you pretty well.”

“Does it…bother you?’

“Oh, not really. Maybe at first,” she conceded. “It’s difficult to maintain a friendship with your ex-lover, Spock. I don’t know many former couples that do it successfully. So I’ve had my challenges.”

“I realize,” Spock acknowledged. “And I appreciate all the efforts you’ve made.”

“It’s because of my great affection for you that I do. And I also want to maintain my position on the Enterprise. Anyway, when your relationship with Kirk first started, it bothered me. It made sense, too, because there always seemed to be an invisible third person in our relationship, and I realized then who it had always been. The point is, that doesn’t bother me anymore, Spock.”

Jim reappeared at their table. “Sorry about that.”

Spock wanted to move out of the booth and allow Jim to slide in first, mostly in a protective manner, but he also knew his captain would not appreciate it at all, so he scooted a little bit in and allowed Jim to resume his seat on the outside.

“Trouble?” Spock asked.

“Only in a purely bureaucratic matter,” Jim answered. “Did you order?”

“No,” Nyota replied. “We were waiting for you.”

Spock sniffed. “Why do you smell like perfume?”

Jim laughed. “Oh that.”

His gaze narrowed while Nyota snorted.

“After I talked to Harker, I had to go to the bathroom—”

“There was perfume in the bathroom?”

“No, no. Anyway, I was coming out and…you remember that girl from Risa I hooked up with in our second year?”

Spock’s lips thinned. “Yes.”

“Well as I came out of the bathroom, she launched herself into my arms and kissed me.”

“Kissed you?” Spock bristled.

“On the cheek. I moved at the last minute so she wouldn’t get my lips,” Jim grinned.

“I suppose she thought you would just pick up where you left off.”

Jim shrugged. “Who knows. But whatever she thought, I did tell her I was here with the two of you, and that you and I were together.”

“Hmm.”

Nyota stifled a laugh. “All that in just the few minutes you were gone?”

“I don’t know why this kinda stuff happens,” Jim said.

She rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh. Wanna share a pizza?”

“Yes.”

“No,” Spock said. He shook his head. They continued to talk about what pizza they would get. Coming down the aisle toward their table, Spock spotted the female from Risa. He gave her a death look as she met his gaze. Her eyes widened and she turned and went the other way.

Jim glanced at him. “You look smug. Why?”

“No reason,” Spock assured him. He turned his attention to his own menu and food choices.  

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