Jim’s hand wrapped around the last container of eggnog on Christmas Eve at the same time someone else’s hand grabbed it. Jim tugged.
“Oh no you don’t.”
Then his gaze lifted and he stared directly into doe-like dark brown eyes.
“This is mine.”
Jim blinked. “Uh, no. I got here first. And it’s my mother’s favorite.”
“It is likewise my mother’s favorite.”
He rolled his eyes and didn’t let go. “Really? Look…Jim Kirk.”
“What?”
“My name.”
Doe-eyed frowned. It was then Jim noticed the pointy ears sticking out of the dark blue beanie atop his head.
“Spock.”
“You’re a Vulcan.”
“Yes, I am quite aware.”
“And your mother likes eggnog?”
“My mother is Human.” Spock tugged a little and with that pronouncement Jim almost let go of the carton, but he stopped himself in time.
“It’s Christmas Eve and my mother is here in San Francisco and I promised her eggnog. It’s sold out everywhere else.”
“It is also Hannukah and my mother is here and loves eggnog. It is a holiday drink, not exclusive to Christmas,” Spock told him.
“I’m not letting go.”
“And I am also not letting go. It seems we are at an impasse.”
Jim’s communicator buzzed in his pocket. He was fairly sure it was his mom but he didn’t have a free hand for in his other hand he held a bag of Christmas cookies.
“Shoot.”
Spock arched his brow.
With a groan, Jim released the carton and fished the communicator out of his pocket.
“Hey Mom. Yeah I’m leaving the store now and am on my way. I’ll be there in like ten minutes.” He eyed Spock. “Bad news though. I couldn’t get any eggnog. Maybe we can find a recipe and make some from scratch, yeah? See you soon.”
Sighing with disappointment, Jim started to turn away.
“Mr. Kirk.”
“Yeah?”
Spock thrust the carton of eggnog into Jim’s hand. “You take it. I will find something else.”
Jim blinked, then smiled. “Thank you. But you know what? I’m thinking we can share it.”
“Share it?”
“Yeah. My mom’s staying at the Sheraton. Room 2045. Why don’t you bring your mom there and we can all have some. We’re having some desserts and hors d’oeuvres.”
For a long time, Spock did not reply, and Jim thought the Vulcan would turn him down. He was already thinking ‘better luck next time’.
“I have to check with my mother, but yes, I think that will be an acceptable alternative.”
“Yeah? Great. If you can’t make it, here’s my contact information.”
Spock took Jim’s information and then Jim made his purchases and went to the Sheraton.
Part of him thought Spock would text him no or even do a no-show, but then just as he was getting ready to set up a nice holiday display with cookies and finger foods, he got a text.
Jim had been sitting by Spock’s biobed for hours, actually possibly almost a day. It was a slow time, now that Spock had been rescued from a disastrous mission, and the Enterprise docked at the nearest Space Station for repairs.
Spock’s eyes finally flew opened and Jim leaned forward.
“Spock, how are you feeling?”
“Captain?”
Jim smiled faintly. “Yeah. Bones says you’re going to be fine but I want to know how you feel.”
Spock blinked but did not respond at first which concerned Jim. He rose from his seat and approached.
“Spock?”
“I am well, Captain. I was merely taking a moment to process the situation. I do not remember how I got here.” Spock frowned slightly. “This does not look like the Enterprise.”
“We were on Dravos 2 and the inhabitants attacked. Your actions prevented them from killing Sulu but you got injured in the process. Sulu is fine. The Enterprise was damaged in a battle with the Klingons as we were escaping. They were behind what went on down there. We’re at a Space Station for a week to do repairs and you’re in the hospital here. Most of the crew is at the holiday celebration.”
Because before all that happened, the Enterprise rec room was hosting a big holiday party combining Christmas and Hanukkah and anything else anyone wanted to observe. They switched it all to a hotel ballroom instead.
“You did not have to stay here with me, Captain. I know you intended to attend the party.”
Jim brushed that off. “Your well-being is more important than that.”
“You yourself said McCoy said I would be all right. It makes no sense to watch me sleep and miss out.”
“Sounds like you’re trying to get rid of me.”
“That is not my intention. But neither do I wish to be responsible for you missing out on an activity you had been looking forward to.”
“I don’t care about it.”
“Captain, there is no need to be here.”
Jim sighed, squelching down his disappointment. “Okay. I get it. You don’t want me around. I thought, well, maybe, yeah, never mind. I’ll just go.”
“Wait,” Spock called. “What were you going to say?”
Jim turned back. “With you no longer with Uhura, I was hoping you’d get that I wanted to spend time with you and that maybe you might reciprocate. But if you’re tired and just want to get rid of me, I’ll go to the party.”
“I do not want to be rid of you and I do reciprocate…Jim.”
Jim moved closer. “Yeah?”
“I genuinely did not wish for you to be disappointed to miss the holiday festivities.”
“That’s cool and I get it. But…I would rather be here with you.”
“Are you sure?”
Jim held up a twig of mistletoe and leaned in to kiss Spock. “I’m sure.”
This is a sequel of sorts to 2016’s I Heard the Bells (that can be found in my holiday collection on AO3)
Spock woke early, ready to prepare for the day ahead of him. He generally rose long before his husband and mate, Jim.
But it was not an ordinary day.
Over the years of being with Jim, Spock had learned to embrace the illogical celebrations of Terran holidays. His own mother had been raised Jewish. He was not unfamiliar with such traditions.
Jim was expecting a big day. He had invited everyone he knew. Even Jim’s mother and Spock’s father were coming. That had surprised Spock. Sarek had stated it was all illogical but he would be there anyway.
Both of their remaining parents were aged and fading before their eyes. This might be their last holiday season to see them, Jim kept saying, and Spock could not disagree.
He left Jim sleeping and went down to begin the preparations. He stopped in the living room to turn on the lights on the trees, two of them, and light the fire.
It was still a few hours until everyone arrived, but Spock started Jim’s coffee, and started getting ready to cook the food.
He’d been up for an hour when Jim came down, showered, and dressed and still looking gorgeous.
“Been up for a while, honey?” Jim asked, after giving him a kiss.
“A bit. Did I wake you?”
“No. I’m just anxious for the day. And your surprise.”
Jim had been talking about his surprise for a while now and Spock inwardly rolled his eyes. Jim meant well but Spock could not imagine what ‘surprise’ was supposed to be so wonderful.
“I am sure it will be well-received,” Spock said indulgently, though somewhat absently as he stirred a sauce.
He was a little surprised when Jim chuckled, kissed Spock’s nose, and then went outside to mess with the outdoor decorations.
It was several hours into the celebration when Spock commented to Jim.
“My father has not arrived yet.”
Jim smiled. “I think he’s here. I’ll be right back.”
And once more Jim went outside.
It was ten minutes later before he came back inside, bringing with him Sarek.
“Father, there—”
And then Spock saw her. Behind his father was his daughter, whom he had not seen in many years.
“Jim,” he whispered, knowing well that was who was responsible.
“Mm.” Jim kissed Spock’s cheek. “Happy Holidays. Surprised?”
“Yes.” Spock stepped forward to greet his father and daughter, unable to form words of gratitude for his mate.
Now that Jim sat alone in the café on Starbase 13 he felt foolish.
He wasn’t used to being stood up. But this hadn’t been a “usual” meeting. This had been important. Too important and it hurt.
He gazed down at the sparkly green wrapped present on the table in front of him and felt more foolish still.
It was Christmas Eve and he had impulsively prepared the gift, a holo photo of them together, happy once, long ago, presented in a gold-rimmed frame and placed in a velvet lined box, then wrapped in Christmas green with a red bow.
It likely wouldn’t have been appreciated, but now he felt extra idiotic for even making the effort and he eyed the nearby trash.
“Want another drink, sir?” An Andorian woman, his waitress, asked, giving him a sympathetic smile. “Another George Washington Eggnog?”
He’d arrived early, too eager to wait any longer.
He eyed the remnants of his extra boozy eggnog, a recipe attributed to George Washington, but without much evidence he had ever been the creator of it.
“Mm. And some of those fried mushrooms with extra ranch dressing.”
“Sure thing, honey.”
Just before he sat across from Jim, he’d felt the concern flash through his mind. He hadn’t had time to reassure Spock.
“Hey,” he whispered, not trusting his voice to speak any louder without him crumbling.
Spock, dressed in a burgundy sweater that looked amazing on him, reached over and took Jim’s hand. He almost joked about how pathetic he must look if Spock was willing to show affection in public, but the lame joke never materialized.
“He is late.”
Jim shook his head. “He’s not coming. I should have known better.”
“I do not understand. It was your brother who contacted you.”
“Sam has never made any sense my entire life.” He gestured to the present. “I guess I’ll trash that.”
“You should keep it yourself as a memory of what you once were to each other. Right now you are thinking with your wounded heart but in a few hours you might change your mind.”
Jim nodded. “Maybe. I feel stupid.”
“Wanting a relationship with your family is not stupid, ashaya.”
“Sam’s never wanted to be my brother.”
“Jim.”
“It’s true, and I just need to accept it.”
The Andorian arrived with his eggnog and mushrooms. “Something, sir?”
“Cranberry tea, please. With an Orange scone.”
She nodded and hurried away.
Jim smiled faintly. “That sounds downright festive for you, babe.”
“It is Christmas Eve.” Spock shrugged. “While I did not celebrate holidays growing up, I am happy to observe them with you.”
“And Uhura before me.”
Spock inclined his head in acknowledgement.
“Ah well, at least I have the best husband in the universe to be with me.”
“I am fortunate to have the same.”
Jim laughed. He picked up a mushroom and ate it. “These are really good.”
Spock’s lips curved. “I will take your word for it.”
A moment later he had his tea and scone and they ate and drank in companionable silence until Jim received a message.
“I’m sorry, Jim, I’m not going to make it,” Jim read, rolling his eyes. “No kidding.” He set his communicator down.
“Will you respond?”
“I think I may just block him.”
Spock shook his head. “You will not.”
He sighed. “I know. Anyway, we have that holiday party tonight with the crew. What do you want to do before then?”
Spock arched a brow. “I can think of a thing or two that will keep us occupied.”
Jim sniffed and wiped his eyes, smiling through his tears at his Vulcan boyfriend as they sat on the couch in the sitting room of Jim’s quarters on the Enterprise.
“Because Clarence got his wings,” Jim attempted to explain. “And George realized how important he was to the lives of those he loved and that it was okay to ask them for help.”
Spock shook his head, looking bemused. “You also cried during The Muppet Christmas Carol.”
“Well,” Jim said defensively. “It was sad when Belle dumped him. And even Rizzo cried.”
“A fake rat.”
Jim sniffed. “Tiny Tim didn’t die and Scrooge was saved.”
“And in the other one—”
“His heart grew twelve sizes.”
His boyfriend shook his head. “If they make you cry, why do you watch them?”
“Because I love them.” Jim smiled. “I haven’t seen them in years. I used to watch them every year but not for a while. A lot of people think I’m weird for loving them so much.”
“I am not sure weird is the term I would use, but I am not sure I quite understand it myself. You have, by your own admission, seen them dozens of times, yet you continue to watch them again and again.”
“Yep. I’m sure it’s quite illogical to Vulcans.”
“Hmm. My mother was Jewish, but we didn’t observe any holiday on Vulcan and I do not believe she did while on Earth before my father.”
Jim nodded. “My mother’s father was Jewish. But we really didn’t follow any specific religion when I was growing up. We treated everything kind of secular.” He leaned over and kissed Spock on the cheek. “Thanks for indulging me. Not only did you let me watch Christmas movies but in July. Or what would be July on Earth, anyway.”
“As illogical as you are, you are still my illogical Jim and therefore, of course, I indulge you.” Spock’s lips curved upward.
Jim glanced toward the little decorated Christmas tree in his quarters. “Even that?”
Spock nodded.
Jim laughed. “Come on. It’s time for bed.”
Spock sighed. “Do you still intend to wear the Santa hat?”
Jim was rushing home from having made a last-minute stop at the toy store. It was already two days before Christmas and he had to make sure Santa was going to deliver all the presents Georgie had asked for.
That morning, just before twenty-year-old Jim had left to go to his classes at Starfleet Academy, his little girl, Georgie, short for Georgette, named after his father, had advised him she’d asked Santa for a “Shelley Doll” and she sure hoped Santa would give it to her as she really really wanted it.
Jim had drawn a complete blank. He had never heard of this doll and it was the first time he’d heard Georgie ask for it.
Georgie was just four years old and very strongly believed in Santa. When Jim was sixteen and still living on Tarsus IV, he and his friend, Helen, slept together. Helen ended up pregnant and later, after giving birth to their daughter, she hadn’t survived the famine and killings there. Jim had taken Georgie back to Riverside with him and for a while, while he was still just a kid, his mom helped him.
But now his mom was back out in space herself, and Jim was going through the Academy. Georgie was with him in San Francisco.
He had to get that doll as there was no way he was going to disappoint his little girl. Fortunately, after his last class today, he was done until the second week of January.
But he was running late, later than he had intended, and he’d just received the second text from his babysitter asking when he would pick up Georgie.
So it really shouldn’t be a surprise when he ran smack into someone so hard that he went flying in the air and landed on the ground, smacking his head and his tailbone as he did so.
“Ow, fuck.”
“I apologize, I did not see you barreling toward me.”
The familiar voice cut through his pain filled head. Spock, the Vulcan instructor. Just figured.
Jim groaned and tried to sit up.
“Lie still, Mister Kirk. I will call for emergency transport to the hospital.”
“No, no, no. I can’t go.” Jim rubbed the back of his head. He wasn’t sure what hurt more, his head or above his butt. “Wait! Where’s my package?”
“Package?” Spock was crouched in front of him.
“Yes! Damn it. Where is it? I can’t lose Shelley.”
“You clearly need the hospital, you are delirious.”
Jim frowned, getting annoyed. “I’m not delirious. I had a bag from the toy store with a doll in it for my daughter for Christmas.”
“You have a daughter? But you are barely twenty.”
“Yes, I know. Where…” Jim spotted the bag nearby just before it was about to be stepped on. He snatched it up. “I hope it’s okay.”
He opened the bag to peer in. The doll seemed intact.
“Perhaps it is best to get up and out of the way of the pedestrians.” Spock reached down and pulled Jim to his feet. He held on to him when he swayed a bit. “I highly recommend you go to a hospital.”
“Can’t. It’s two days before Christmas and I gotta play Santa to my daughter. And right now she’s with her babysitter and I need to get her. Are you okay?”
Spock frowned. “I was not hurt.”
“Good, then I’m going to go.”
“If you will not get medical attention, at least allow me to accompany you to your home to ensure you are all right.”
Considering normally, Jim would jump at the opportunity to spend time with Spock, or jump on Spock, really, he figured he probably should agree.
“All right, fine.”
They only had another block to the apartment building where Jim lived, which also happened to be where Georgie’s babysitter lived.
The door to the apartment opened even before Jim had a chance to knock.
Leonard “Bones” McCoy peered out at Jim. Then he opened the door wide. “What happened to you?”
Jim gestured to Spock with his thumb. “Ran into a Vulcan brick.”
“Daddy!” Georgie hugged his legs.
“Hey, pumpkin.” Jim shoved his bag at Bones and scooped up his daughter. “Spock, this is Georgie and Bones. Bones is a doctor, so I’ll have him check me out.”
Georgie peered at Spock curiously. “Is he staying for dinner?”
Spock opened his mouth.
“I’m sure he probably has something better to do,” Bones interjected.
“I would like to stay,” Spock said with an arched brow.
Jim smiled. “Great. Uh. You want to come over too, Bones?”
“Someone has to be the chaperone,” Bones grumbled.
“Down, Daddy. I want to show Spock where we live!”
“Okay, okay.” Jim laughed and put her down. He was surprised when Spock let her grab his hand and lead her away from Bones’ apartment to theirs.
“What’s this?” Bones asked, shaking the bag.
“Shelley.”
“Huh?”
“Georgie asked Santa for a Shelley doll. So…”
Bones nodded. “Got you. I’ll hide it with the others until tomorrow night.”
“Thanks, Bones.”
“What’s with you and the hobgoblin?”
Jim shrugged. “I don’t know. My ass is killing me though.”
“Hey, no telling me personal stuff!”
Jim rolled his eyes. “I fell. Hit my tailbone and my head.”
“No wonder you’re with him,” Bones cracked. “Let me put this away and get my medical bag and I’ll be right over.”
“Thanks.” Jim smiled and shook his head as he heard Georgie chattering away at Spock. It would be an interesting night, for sure.
This one ended up being a whole thing and took some weird twists and became rather angsty. It may end up being a larger fic come December at Christmas proper. We will see. I am thinking there’s more to tell here that I can’t get into dealing with just yet. But then again, maybe I should just leave it alone!
Jim nodded absently at his friend’s words. They were said with a false, forced cheer that he mostly appreciated.
He scooped another spoonful of eggnog ice cream, not bothering to glance toward the window of his hospital room where Bones stood. He could hear the pouring rain from his bed, anyway.
Next to his bed, on the end table was an arrangement of red, white, and green carnations with a glittery reindeer stick stuck in the vase with them. The card attached read ‘Get Well Soon and Merry Christmas, the Sulus.’
Bones turned back to him. “Let me see your chart again.”
Jim was in Starfleet Hospital in San Francisco. Bones wasn’t his treating physician, just his friend. But Bones was Bones and a nosey doctor he would remain.
Bones tsked. “Heart failure two days before Christmas.”
“Um hum. Drained a bunch of fluid off. It’s hereditary on Mom’s side.”
“Thought Khan’s blood would prevent that.”
Jim smiled faintly. “That was a long time ago, Bones. I’m aging at a normal Human pace. I don’t think he made me Superhuman or anything.”
“What use was he then?” Bones grumbled.
“There was no use for him. You know what. Anyway, I should get out of here before New Year’s. Gotta take pills, get regular checkups, blah blah blah.”
“Well, Admiral, you do have desk duty. So at least I don’t have to worry about you getting shot or something.”
“Small favors anyway. I feel fine, Bones. A little tired is all. And bummed I’m stuck in this hellhole over Christmas.”
“Your mom coming by later?”
“Yep. With a pre-approved mini tree for my room. She had to get my doctor’s approval, but he did.”
“What about David? Carol bringing him by?”
“Not until the day after Christmas,” Jim admitted. “I told her that they should spend Christmas in England with her husband and Carol’s mother.”
“Can’t believe he’s almost a teenager already. Hell, worse I can’t believe I’m a grampa.”
Jim smiled. “It suits you.”
Bones rolled his eyes and pulled up a chair. He brought the eggnog ice cream, also approved by Jim’s cariologist, and a white stuffed polar bear wearing a Santa hat.
He cleared his throat, so Jim knew what was to come, though he had hoped it wasn’t.
“Think he’ll show up?”
Spock, of course. Spock who had ended things with Jim six months earlier and left for New Vulcan to finally pursue Kolinahr.
They’d had a fight to end all fights. Jim wished he could say he didn’t remember what caused it, but he did. It didn’t really matter now. They were kaput. And Spock likely was knee deep in kneeling before some snooty priestess.
“No. What reason would he have?”
Bones stared at him wide-eyed. “You just had heart failure and almost died!”
Jim shook his head. “I wasn’t that in danger of dying. And I doubt anyone told him.”
“The mind thing?”
“Been dormant for months. It’s okay, Bones. We’re finished. Spock made that clear and I accepted it.” He shrugged. “I think when he’s finished with the Kolinahr, he’ll have the bond removed anyway.”
“That what he said?”
“He hasn’t said anything to me since he left, Bones. I’m just guessing is all. Fine by me. I don’t need it.”
“I should give him a piece of my mind.”
Jim chuckled and pushed away the ice cream bowl. “You need all your pieces. Let it go.”
Bones sighed. “Okay. Listen, I gotta leave for a bit, but I’ll be back later with a turkey dinner for us and probably your mom too. I’ll contact her first.”
“Bones, you don’t have to stay. It’s Christmas Eve. I know you have family.”
“You listen here, Jim, you are my family. I’ll be back.”
Jim teared up and smiled. “Okay, Bones. And you’re my family too.”
The nurse came in after Bones left to remove the ice cream bowl and offer him some tea and pills, but eventually, mercifully, Jim was left alone.
He must have dozed off some because when he woke up someone was sitting in the chair by his bed.
Jim stared. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
Spock said sternly, “Not funny.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Where else would I be? My mate is in the hospital after suffering heart failure.”
“I’m not your mate anymore, Spock,” Jim reminded him.
“Our bond still exists.”
“I kind of think that’s your problem. And I’m sure you can end it.”
Spock stood and approached the bed. “I am not here to agitate you, Jim. I have come to apologize and express my deep regret for my part in our separation.”
“Aren’t regrets illogical?” Jim sighed wearily. “I don’t…you said it was over.”
“I was wrong.”
“You wanted to purge me.”
“Negative. Never you. I was…confused. I wished to purge my emotions but I was unable to do so. My love for you was too strong.”
“Spock—”
“I ask nothing from you except that I am allowed to remain by your side to watch over you.”
Jim snorted. “That seems like a lot to ask.”
Spock lowered his gaze. “I mean I know I am not worthy of a return to intimacies we once shared but—”
“I’m not really cleared for that kind of thing right now.”
Spock nodded. “But I would like to be your friend and companion for however long you will allow it.”
“This is a lot to deal with right now,” Jim admitted. “And it’s Christmas Eve. Mom is coming and Bones too. I just…you broke my heart, Spock.” He waved away Spock’s wide-eyed look. “No. You aren’t responsible for this heart condition, you know that’s not what I mean. It’s just going to be hard to get past that for a while. If I ever can.”
“Can I stay while you are in the hospital through the holidays?”
“You aren’t making it easy to send you away,” Jim said, softly. “You know I still love you. That’s never changed.”
“It has not changed for me either.”
Suddenly there was a commotion outside Jim’s room and in popped his mom wheeling in a decorated Christmas Tree on a cart and next to it was a Santa sized sack filled with brightly wrapped Christmas packages.
Her mouth formed into a “O” she stared at Spock.
“Uh. Hi Mom. Spock’s here.”
“I-I see.”
Jim glanced at Spock who stared back at him with pleading eyes. “And for now, he’s staying.”
“I don’t know if I have enough fake snow for this.”
Spock was certain he did not want to engage in this conversation or subject matter and thought it would likely be wise to maintain his silence. But his fairly new boyfriend, Jim Kirk, was gazing at him expectantly and somehow Spock was sure it was some kind of test.
It was July in San Francisco and the temperature was currently topping 90 degrees Fahrenheit. He couldn’t even begin to guess what was on Jim’s mind. For the last several minutes he had been attempting to get Jim’s mind on coitus. Normally he was successful.
They were lounging on the sofa in Spock’s apartment and Spock’s plan had been to seduce his boyfriend and then ask him to move in. Until Jim’s odd sentence he had just uttered.
Schooling his face into a mask of slight interest, Spock murmured, “Fake snow.”
Even to his ears it didn’t sound like a question or a means to encourage further discussion.
But if Jim noticed, he pushed past it.
“For my party.”
“Party?”
Spock detested parties. Fortunately, Vulcans never threw parties.
Jim nodded, seemingly unaware of Spock’s discomfort. “Christmas.”
“It is my understanding that the Terran celebration of Christmas is conducted in December.”
“You understand correctly, babe.”
For a moment, Spock allowed himself to feel pleasure at the endearment that came his way. Illogically he found he liked it when Jim used them.
But then he frowned. “Then I do not understand.”
“It’s a Christmas in July party.” Jim smiled beautifully at him. The smile made his heart flutter in his side. Spock acknowledged he was a terrible sap for this Human.
“And you need fake snow.”
“Uh-huh.”
Somehow, Spock managed to maneuver Jim under him on the sofa, or perhaps Jim maneuvered Spock on top of him, and he couldn’t help but groan when their erections pressed against each other.
“I will assist,” Spock heard himself promise as he reached down to unfasten and remove Jim’s pants.
“Yeah?” Jim asked breathlessly.
“Mm.”
“And I need a place to have it. The dorm is too small.”
Spock undid his own pants and slid himself along Jim’s bare shaft. “We will have it here where you will be living.”
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 