There was sort of a request for a “melancholy” one and this one starts out a bit that way but soon the tides change!
Jim had been getting melancholy this time of year for a while now.
Well, in all honesty, ever since the Enterprise’s last mission. Which was, what, six years ago now.
They’d had a good run, all of them, and he kept in touch with a lot of his crew.
But every time July came around it reminded him of their absolutely ridiculous, silly Christmas in July celebrations. Which he’d initiated the first year. It had been so popular on the ship long after Jim probably would have ended it.
And the last one they’d had, before the end, had been when he’d shared his first and only kiss with his first officer. Under the mistletoe.
It had gone on far longer than it should have. Jim hadn’t been able to let go of Spock’s collar to let him end the kiss. It had taken Bones’ clearing his throat rather pointedly for Jim to finally let go, step back, and laugh with everyone else.
It didn’t get repeated or even talked about before the end. Before they all ended the mission and the last of the crew departed.
Spock for New Vulcan. With his wife, Nyota.
And Jim here to San Francisco, where he’d accepted a promotion to admiral.
And his own, rather ill-fated marriage to Helena. That was over now. Had been for a good two years. It did have one benefit, though, Jim could not regret, his beautiful three-year-old daughter, Jessica.
Jim also knew that Spock’s marriage to Uhura had ended too. Only two years in. He didn’t know all the details, but he’d heard that she had cheated on him. In their long distant conversations, his here, and Spock’s from New Vulcan, his friend had never disclosed the particulars. Jim hadn’t pressed.
And though Jim kept in touch with Spock, he hadn’t seen him in person in six years.
Which was about to change.
He rose from behind his desk and went to the window looking down on the city. They were in the middle of a heat wave and it made it difficult to think of Christmas in any way. Even the July fake version.
Still, Jim was getting a gift.
“Admiral?”
He turned to hit the intercom on his desk. “Yes?”
“Ambassador Spock is here.”
For a moment, Jim thought of that other Ambassador Spock, long gone now, but still very much missed. But no, his Spock was an ambassador now.
“Send him in.”
Only a moment later, Spock stepped into Jim’s office, the door closing behind him. Spock’s gaze went to the strand of Christmas lights Jim had strung across his desk. His brow arched.
Jim laughed. “Yeah, I know what you’re going to say. Old habits is all.”
“You are looking very fit, Admiral.”
“Thank you. You too, Ambassador.” And here Jim’s smile softened. He stepped away from the window and approached Spock. “God, it’s good to see you. Is it okay if I hug you?”
“Indeed.”
And so, Jim did, throwing his arms around Spock and holding on for dear life. That familiar scent drifted over him, and he squeezed tighter.
Finally, he pulled back but not out of Spock’s arms.
“Not that I’m not absolutely thrilled to see you, but what brings you here, Spock?”
“You,” Spock replied. “More specifically I wanted to see you. I have spent the last few years on New Vulcan figuring out what I wanted for the remainder of my life.”
Jim gave him a quizzical look. “And that involves me?”
“That is my hope.” Spock paused. “Admiral…Jim, do you think we could go somewhere far less official and more private?”
Jim’s heart rate increased but he tried to tamp down his excitement and hope. He’d been disappointed before and that kind of disappointment was soul killing. So he made himself say calmly, “Sure my apartment is only a block away. Let’s go.”
Jim couldn’t help but notice that Spock watched him carefully as they made the short trip from HQ to his apartment.
“What?” Jim finally asked as they entered the apartment building.
“It is simply remarkable that you haven’t seemed to age a day since I last saw you.”
He laughed. “Yeah, what two days ago? I haven’t.”
“I meant in person, of course.”
Jim nodded. “I know, I’m teasing. It’s the super blood, I guess. Bones threatens that I’m going to live forever.”
He hit the button to the lift that would take him to the seventh floor where his apartment was located.
Neither of them said anything else until Jim let them into his apartment.
“The place is a bit of a mess. I wasn’t…I haven’t been home in a couple of days so when I got word you were coming I didn’t think to hurry home to clean.”
Jim was embarrassed that he had clothes strewn about and dirty dishes in the sink. He was no housekeeper.
Spock was eyeing him. “You have not been home?”
“It’s not what you think. Well, what you probably think. I have a small room at HQ I make use of sometimes.” He shrugged.
“You work too much.”
“Likely. But Helena took Jessica with her to visit her family in Colorado so there wasn’t any particular reason to go home.” Jim smiled self-consciously. “I’m not seeing anyone and most of my friends don’t really live around here.”
“Then perhaps my reason for coming to see you will be more welcome than I had even anticipated and hoped for.”
“Want to sit?” Jim gestured to the sofa, after picking up a few things left there. “You want tea or something?”
“Negative.” Spock moved to the sofa and sat. “Please join me.”
Jim was only mildly surprised when Spock held his hand toward Jim to come and take it to sit directly next to Spock. It wasn’t completely normal but on the other hand during the last years they’d seen each other they often spent time together in close proximity.
No doubt why Jim had always hoped…but no. Right after that kiss under the mistletoe, Spock had, once again, reconciled with Uhura after yet another break from their relationship. And Jim’s hopes had been dashed, he thought, for good.
But now he took Spock’s warm hand and allowed himself to be drawn down beside Spock.
Spock let out a very long breath. “I have made a number of mistakes over the years, but the most impactful and regretful one was not coming to terms with my romantic feelings toward you.”
Jim blinked. “Did you just say romantic feelings?”
“Yes. I have been in love with you since…it is difficult to pinpoint the exact moment but I have loved you for the entirety of our service together and beyond.”
Eyes wide, Jim stated. “What?”
“There simply is no excuse for my inability to declare my deeper emotions and to maintain what I believed was the ‘safe’ relationship with Nyota. It did a disservice to both of you and ultimately my inability to commit to her emotionally led to the end of our marriage.”
“Spock—”
“No matter the outcome of my current declaration, whether you can ever forgive my cowardice and return my feelings, I can no longer pretend that my own behavior and thought process was quite abhorrent. I am most certainly responsible for your decision to enter into marriage with Helena, therefore further delaying my confession.”
“Spock,” Jim said, far more firmly. He put his hand on Spock’s leg and squeezed. “Stop.”
“You do not wish to hear—”
“No. I don’t want to waste one more second of us.” Jim moved his lips next to Spock’s and kissed him thoroughly.
“Jim.” Spock’s hand came up to cradle Jim’s head as he deepened their kiss.
When it broke, Jim grinned. “Guess what?”
Spock shook his head. “I am unable to guess or form any thought right now other than I love you.” Jim held up a twig of mistletoe. “Merry Christmas in July. Greatest present ever.”
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 