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Flash Fic Monday

Memorial Day Flash

When super blood-or super villain blood-keeps you going much longer than your life was originally scheduled for, well, you ended up outliving pretty much everyone you’d ever known.

But today was about honoring those who had died in service to Starfleet and the Federation.

He stopped at Pike’s, Carol’s, and Chekov’s along the way. A few more that had served under him. Hendorff’s. Giotto’s.

And finally he stopped at his dad’s. Of all those sections in the Memorial he had visited, his dad was the only one he’d never gotten to know. Not even briefly, like Sam.

His thoughts strayed to his late brother. Gone now too, since there’d been no miracle blood to prolong his life. They’d reconciled at the end but they’d missed far too many years over too many hurt feelings.

By the time he made it out of the Memorial, he was exhausted. Not because he felt any physical weakness. He didn’t at all. But the emotional toll was great.

So he stood there outside of it, leaning against a wall, closing his eyes as a sort of survivor’s guilt assailed him.

“Jim.”

A soft touch on his elbow.

He opened his eyes to look into the concerned dark eyes of his husband.

“Hi, Spock.”

“You did not wait and went without me.”

Jim nodded. “I can wait here if you want to go.”

Spock looked past him to the entrance. “No. My place is with you. I mourn their memories.” Spock took Jim’s arm and helped him to walk away from the building.

“Did you make the arrangements for your father?”

Another loss. Another memory. Or a thousand memories.

“Yes.” Spock said nothing else as they walked together. They remained quiet as they made their way home. It was good to have each other. In that the miracle of Kahn’s blood had blessed him.

Flash Fic May 22, 2023

I had promised that I would eventually get around to the second part of the flash where Jim and Spock have a son “Tommy” and the mother visits the space station. Taken me a while but here it is. I added the first part too, to remind you of the story. Here’s the thing in full. Enjoy!

Jim sat alone at a two-seater table in the corner of a canteen restaurant on Space Station 12. He had his PADD with him, but at that moment he was people watching.

Half-listening for the beep from his PADD when he received a new message. He was waiting for one from Spock.

They’d been parted now for nearly four months and it was wearing on him.

Jim hadn’t accepted retirement, but he had accepted that he wouldn’t be captain of a starship anymore. Instead he was acting as the military head of this very space station.

And Spock had taken on the ambassadorial duties of his father when Sarek had been too unwell to complete them. Spock was spending his time between Earth, New Vulcan, and Space Station 12. And it seemed to Jim that his location got the least amount of attention from Spock.

Jim got it. He did. And it wouldn’t be forever.

The blood he’d received from Khan all those years prior had insured he would live a life far more matched to Spock’s and for that he was grateful. But he would very much like to spend that life with Spock more often.

Last time Spock was here, he’d been there only a month before leaving for New Vulcan. Jim had traveled four months ago for a visit with Spock on Earth, for a mere two weeks, and he’d had to return.

He spotted the Human woman the minute she’d entered the canteen. She was dressed all in shiny silver, a mini skirt with a halter top. Her white hair was pulled back in a pony-tail reminiscent of the way Uhura had once worn hers. Dangling from her ears were large silver hoop earrings. Even her makeup was silver, glittery. And she looked his way.

When she reached him, she sat down without invitation.

“Admiral Kirk.”

“Jody. I wasn’t aware you were on the Station.” Which annoyed him. He should be alerted to all who arrived. Some security.

She smirked. “Sorry, sir. I should have let you know I was coming. You’re alone?”

He shrugged. ”Unless you’re sitting on someone very tiny.”

Jody laughed. “You haven’t changed.”

“Did you expect I would?”

“No.” She sighed. “Where is he?”

“In class. He doesn’t get out for another two hours.” Jim sighed and picked up his coffee cup, taking a sip, then grimacing when it was cold. “He’ll be glad to see you.”

“What about you, Jim? Are you glad?”

“That ship sailed, as you know.”

“True. I’m just passing through. I’ll be on my way tomorrow, so you needn’t worry I’ll overstay my welcome.”

“Where are you off to?”

“I’ve taken a job on Caltos 6. Six-months. I wanted to see my son before I went.”

He nodded. “As I said, he’ll be glad to see you.”

“Where’s your husband?”

“Working.”

“You two, always busy.”

Jody, of course, had been Jim’s mistake before he and Spock ever got together. Back on a place just like this. Yorktown. They’d spent a few weeks together pretending to have a romance, Jim supposed. It was only ever sex for him as he loved Spock even back then, but he had liked her.

But then after she left, after it was over, she informed Jim she’d gotten pregnant. Their son, Thomas, stayed with Jim fulltime. Jody didn’t want to be tied down to a child, she’d been clear about that, but she did visit Thomas when she could, and they did have a loving if somewhat distant relationship.

“I’m waiting to hear from him now.”

“He’s coming to the canteen?”

“No. He’s on New Vulcan.”

“Oh.” She nodded. “I’ve got some things to take care of. Can I meet you at Thomas’ school in a couple of hours? Maybe we can have take-out together at your apartment.”

“Sure. Okay.”

She smiled, stood, and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “See you in a bit, Admiral.”

Jody turned around and walked right into a tall, thin Vulcan.

Jim stood up immediately, aware he was grinning like a fool. “Spock!”

Spock arched a brow at Jody and stepped around her to accept Jim’s embrace.

“I was waiting for your message.”

“I decided to surprise you,” Spock said. He looked at Jody. “Clearly this is your day to be surprised.”

“Nice to see you again, Spock,” Jody said. “Don’t worry I am leaving again tomorrow.”

“I was not, in fact, worried.”

“She’s going to eat with the family tonight. She wanted to see Tommy before she’s off on a six-month assignment,” Jim explained.

“She will be welcome.”

Jody laughed. “Doubtful, but I appreciate the sentiment. I will see you soon.”

Jim watched her walk away. He put his hands on Spock’s arms. ”Sorry about that. She did surprise me.”

“It is not your fault. And I am actually glad I will be here for her visit.”

“I don’t think I need protecting from Jody.”

Spock gave him a reproachful look. “I do not think she will attack you, but I wish to be there with my family.”

Jim linked his arm with Spock’s. “And we want you there, too. How long are you here this time?”

“For the foreseeable future, Ashaya.”

And now with Spock beside him, Jim knew he was ready to face anything. Even his son’s mother.

****

Despite Jim’s statement that he didn’t need protecting from Jody, Spock knew his husband well. He didn’t miss the tightening in Jim’s shoulders or the pinched look near his eyes. These were definite signs of Jim’s stress as he was well familiar.

Later when they were alone and could put Thomas’ mother’s visit behind him, Spock would make it his priority to care for Jim.

Spock could not help but appreciate that when they arrived at their son’s school, Thomas ran straight to him. He readily accepted the child’s enthusiastic embrace.

“Father! I didn’t know you were home.” Thomas shot a brief accusatory glance at his dad.

“Only just home a short time ago,” Spock assured him. “I managed to surprise even your dad.”

As Thomas released Spock and turned to speak to his dad his gaze rested on the approach of Jody, his mother. The boy’s eyes widened slightly and he put a hand on Jim’s arm.

“It’s okay, buddy. She wanted to surprise you,” Jim told his son. He smiled. “It’s okay,” he repeated.

Thomas nodded and then turned to greet his mother. “Hi Mom.”

He hugged her with much less enthusiasm but he did smile and Spock wasn’t even sure she would notice the difference.

“Hi baby. I wanted to surprise you.”

“I am surprised.”

She laughed and ruffled his hair. “I’m leaving tomorrow for a new planet but I couldn’t go by here without stopping to see you. Your dad and Spock generously said I could have dinner with you guys tonight.”

“Great,” Thomas said.

“I brought gifts too,” she told her son, putting her arm around him. She glanced at Spock and Jim. “Ready?”

“Sure thing,” Jim agreed.

They lived in a two-story villa on the Space Station that overlooked the main city area. The living room and their bedroom had a spectacular view of the city lights and the man-made water feature. Yorktown had nothing on Space Station 12. Jim had his pick of which one he’d be in charge of and he had chosen 12. Spock had approved.

“I’ll order something to be delivered,” Jim said when they arrived. “Tommy, why don’t you show your mom your room?”

“Okay.”

And off they went.

Jim shook his head, went to the whiskey decanter, opened it, and poured himself a drink.

“Are you worried?” Spock asked.

“Worried? About what?”

“Her arrival.”

“No. I believe her when she says she’s leaving again tomorrow.” Jim took his drink to the floor to ceiling picture window. Spock followed him there. “I used to be concerned.”

“About wanting to take her son?”

Our son. He’s ours, Spock. Yours and mine. She shows up a few times in his life with a smile and gifts like it makes up for her wanting nothing to do with him.” Jim sighed.

“Like your mother did with you,” Spock surmised.

“I love my mom. She did the best she could,” Jim said softly.

“And you have a good relationship with her now. But when you were a child…”

Jim shook his head. “I know. But I don’t really think the situation with Jody is the same. And the truth is, I used to worry she’d come back to take Tommy but I don’t worry about that anymore. She doesn’t want him. She wants to live whatever life she has with no responsibilities to the boy she gave birth to. Tommy is ours and he wants to be with us. If I ever had to fight with her over it, you and I both know I’d win. But she won’t. It’s not what she wants.”

“I am sorry you sometimes have to manage all this without me here.”

Jim smiled, put his drink down, and walked into Spock’s embrace. Spock wrapped his arms around his husband.

“We knew what we were getting into when you took on the ambassadorship. And me this station. We always work it out because we want to. We love each other and there’s no one else for either of us. I don’t blame you when you aren’t here. But I do miss you.”

“And I miss you. I will be here with you, with our family for some time. What duties I currently have can be managed from here.”

“Fantastic.” Jim gave him a squeeze and then stepped out of his arms. “Guess I better order that food.”

“I will do it. You finish your drink.”

Jim blew out a breath. “Thanks. I love you, Spock.”

“And I always you. Eternally.”   

Flash Fic, May 15, 2023

A teensy sequel to yesterday’s flash

“There you are.”

Jim smiled at his husband as he closed and locked their apartment door. “Yeah, sorry. Mom and I had a few too many margaritas and decided to walk through the park.”

Spock held open his arms and Jim went into them immediately. He noticed how tight Spock hugged him.

“Hey, are you alright?”

“Yes.”

Jim pulled away and looked at him. “How’d it go with your dad?”

“As usual. I apologize, Jim, I should have gone with you to see your mother.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“It is. You are my mate and your needs are more important than mine.”

“Spock, that’s not true.”

“It is to me. How was your dinner?”

“Good. It was good.” Jim took his hand and led him over to the kitchen. “You want me to make you some tea or something?”

“I am fully recovered.”

Jim smiled. The truth was Spock looked wrecked. He had dark smudges under his eyes and he still had a tremor in his hands. But Jim did not argue. “Tea?”

“I can get whatever it is you need,” Spock said instead.

He sighed heavily, grabbed Spock’s hand, and now led him to the sofa. He pulled the Vulcan down to sit and then perched beside him.

“Listen to me. I’m fine. I’m not injured. I’m not frightened of you. I love you. Everything is good between us.”

“Your tissue was torn—”

“Sure, a little. But it got fixed. We were both exhausted but of course we were. You have to stop blaming yourself for something you couldn’t control. We got through it and we’re both good.”

Spock closed his eyes.

Jim took Spock’s hand and put it on his face. “Meld us. You’ll see how good we are.”

A moment later, Spock’s eyes opened and Jim smiled again.

“See?”

“I will never be all right with hurting you.”

“I know,” Jim said softly. “We’re good. I’m not hurt. I love you.”

Spock nodded and exhaled. “Do you think your mother would go to dinner with us tomorrow night?”

“Yes, I’m sure. But why don’t we invite her here and we’ll cook her dinner.”

“That is a good idea.”

“Tea?” Jim asked again.

“Let’s make it together.”

Jim chuckled, kissed him, and pulled him up from the couch. He’d text his mother later. Maybe after some very close time with Spock.  

Flash Fic, May 01, 2023

Don’t have time for much this week but you can have this today

He didn’t know when it became more than just the best sex of his life, and that was saying a lot, by the way. He’d convinced himself that’s all it was. Jim Kirk didn’t fall in love. That was definitely for suckers.

What did love do anyway but break hearts and ruin lives?

But one day after Spock had left Jim’s bed, Jim continued to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and wish that Spock would suddenly turn around and come back to stay in bed with him rather than leave Jim to face getting up alone and feeling vaguely cheap.

Stupid, maybe. But there it was.

And later that same week, he watched Spock openly flirt with someone else, yeah he hadn’t known Spock flirted until it became obvious to him that Spock was acting to someone else the way he did with Jim.    

Jim had seen green through his suddenly green-eyed monster self.

After that he started avoiding Spock because he just didn’t want to deal with it. Deal with his obvious unrequited love.

Because yes, Jim did love Spock and only wanted to be with him. Clearly Spock didn’t feel the same.

He even ignored messages from Spock. He was going to have to eventually deal with telling Spock it was over between them but he wanted to avoid it as long as he could.

He was already late to class when he opened his dorm door to find Spock standing there. He was dressed in his instructor’s uniform.

“Oh. Morning.”

“Can we talk?” Spock asked.

“I’m late for—”

“Please.”

Jim stepped back and let Spock inside. “Okay. Well, I hoped to avoid this for a while longer but…” He sighed. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

Spock’s face remained blank but he said, “I do not understand.”

Jim nodded. “I know. It’s just…my feelings have changed.”

“Changed?”

“I’m wanting something more than casual. I’m sorry if I had known…I thought I was being honest when I said I didn’t want anything serious. I was at the time.  But since I’m emotionally involved now I think it’s best to end things.”

Spock stared at him.

Jim opened his mouth. His heart was pounding. “Look, Spock—”

“I am emotionally involved too.”

“What?”

“I do not seek a casual relationship with you either. I did not know how to tell you. I feared if I did you would not see me at all.”

Jim blinked, took that in, trying to change his brain and heart from thinking the end to something way more positive.

“Uh.”

Spock exhaled. “I apologize for keeping you from your class.”

Jim smiled, walked over to Spock, and kissed him. “I think I’m going to miss it.”     

Flash Fic, April 24, 2023

Jim sat alone at a two-seater table in the corner of a canteen restaurant on Space Station 12. He had his PADD with him, but at that moment he was people watching.

Half-listening for the beep from his PADD when he received a new message. He was waiting for one from Spock.

They’d been parted now for nearly four months and it was wearing on him.

Jim hadn’t accepted retirement, but he had accepted that he wouldn’t be captain of a starship anymore. Instead he was acting as the military head of this very space station.

And Spock had taken on the ambassadorial duties of his father when Sarek had been too unwell to complete them. Spock was spending his time between Earth, New Vulcan, and Space Station 12. And it seemed to Jim that his location got the least amount of attention from Spock.

Jim got it. He did. And it wouldn’t be forever.

The blood he’d received from Khan all those years prior had insured he would live a life far more matched to Spock’s and for that he was grateful. But he would very much like to spend that life with Spock more often.

Last time Spock was here, he’d been there only a month before leaving for New Vulcan. Jim had traveled four months ago for a visit with Spock on Earth, for a mere two weeks, and he’d had to return.

He spotted the Human woman the minute she’d entered the canteen. She was dressed all in shiny silver, a mini skirt with a halter top. Her white hair was pulled back in a pony-tail reminiscent of the way Uhura had once worn hers. Dangling from her ears were large silver hoop earrings. Even her makeup was silver, glittery. And she looked his way.

When she reached him, she sat down without invitation.

“Admiral Kirk.”

“Jody. I wasn’t aware you were on the Station.” Which annoyed him. He should be alerted to all who arrived. Some security.

She smirked. “Sorry, sir. I should have let you know I was coming. You’re alone?”

He shrugged. ”Unless you’re sitting on someone very tiny.”

Jody laughed. “You haven’t changed.”

“Did you expect I would?”

“No.” She sighed. “Where is he?”

“In class. He doesn’t get out for another two hours.” Jim sighed and picked up his coffee cup, taking a sip, then grimacing when it was cold. “He’ll be glad to see you.”

“What about you, Jim? Are you glad?”

“That ship sailed, as you know.”

“True. I’m just passing through. I’ll be on my way tomorrow, so you needn’t worry I’ll overstay my welcome.”

“Where are you off to?”

“I’ve taken a job on Caltos 6. Six-months. I wanted to see my son before I went.”

He nodded. “As I said, he’ll be glad to see you.”

“Where’s your husband?”

“Working.”

“You two, always busy.”

Jody, of course, had been Jim’s mistake before he and Spock ever got together. Back on a place just like this. Yorktown. They’d spent a few weeks together pretending to have a romance, Jim supposed. It was only ever sex for him as he loved Spock even back then, but he had liked her.

But then after she left, after it was over, she informed Jim she’d gotten pregnant. Their son, Thomas, stayed with Jim fulltime. Jody didn’t want to be tied down to a child, she’d been clear about that, but she did visit Thomas when she could, and they did have a loving if somewhat distant relationship.

“I’m waiting to hear from him now.”

“He’s coming to the canteen?”

“No. He’s on New Vulcan.”

“Oh.” She nodded. “I’ve got some things to take care of. Can I meet you at Thomas’ school in a couple of hours? Maybe we can have take-out together at your apartment.”

“Sure. Okay.”

She smiled, stood, and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “See you in a bit, Admiral.”

Jody turned around and walked right into a tall, thin Vulcan.

Jim stood up immediately, aware he was grinning like a fool. “Spock!”

Spock arched a brow at Jody and stepped around her to accept Jim’s embrace.

“I was waiting for your message.”

“I decided to surprise you,” Spock said. He looked at Jody. “Clearly this is your day to be surprised.”

“Nice to see you again, Spock,” Jody said. “Don’t worry I am leaving again tomorrow.”

“I was not, in fact, worried.”

“She’s going to eat with the family tonight. She wanted to see Tommy before she’s off on a six-month assignment,” Jim explained.

“She will be welcome.”

Jody laughed. “Doubtful, but I appreciate the sentiment. I will see you soon.”

Jim watched her walk away. He put his hands on Spock’s arms. ”Sorry about that. She did surprise me.”

“It is not your fault. And I am actually glad I will be here for her visit.”

“I don’t think I need protecting from Jody.”

Spock gave him a reproachful look. “I do not think she will attack you, but I wish to be there with my family.”

Jim linked his arm with Spock’s. “And we want you there, too. How long are you here this time?”

“For the foreseeable future, Ashaya.”

And now with Spock beside him, Jim knew he was ready to face anything. Even his son’s mother.

Flash Fic, April 17, 2023

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

“Moon river, wider than a mile
I’m crossing you in style some day
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you’re goin’, I’m goin’ your way

Two drifters, off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We’re after the same rainbow’s end
Waitin’ ’round the bend
My huckleberry friend
Moon river and me”

“I was unaware you sang, Captain.”

Jim, embarrassed to be caught crooning in the shower, laughed and turned off the indulgent water spray and reached for a towel to wrap around himself. He stepped out of the shower.

“Sorry, was I taking too long?”

Spock kept his gaze averted. “No. I was drawn by your lyrical voice. I thought perhaps you were playing music and then was surprised to hear it was you.”

He laughed again. “You put in for promotion, Spock?”

“Captain?”

“Thought maybe you’re trying to butter me up.”

Spock frowned. “Butter you up?”

“You know what? Never mind. Thanks for the compliment. The shower is all yours.”

“Captain?”

Jim turned just as he was about to exit their shared bathroom in their temporary apartment quarters on Yorktown. “Yeah?”

“Would you like to join me for dinner?”

“You and Uhura?”

“Nyota has other plans.” Spock paused. “With Mr. Scott. They are seeing each other.”

Jim blinked. “They are?”

“Dinner?”

Jim smiled. “A date, Spock?”

He was joking of course.

“Yes.”

“Uh. Yeah. Okay. Sure. Dinner.”

He exited the bathroom and as he did so he could hear Spock humming Moon River.

Flash Fic, April 10, 2023

No particular theme this month, just where the whim takes me.

Photo by Yana Moroz on Pexels.com

Jim woke alone in bed and as he placed his hand on where Spock was supposed to be it was cool to the touch and the sheet smooth.

He sighed in the darkness, straightened, sat up, and turned on the light in the bedroom. Definitely no sign Spock had ever come to bed.

Jim glanced at the digital clock and saw it was two in the morning. The room felt chilled.

He got out of bed, reached for his robe, and slipped his feet into slippers he kept by the bedside. He trundled over to the window, opened the blinds and observed that it was snowing. In April.

He almost went back to bed where it was reasonably warm. But it was also lonely and staying there by himself wouldn’t solve anything.

Jim turned from the window, left the bedroom and went down the stairs to find his Vulcan.

Of all the species and all the planets he’d visited over the many years, Vulcans were the most stubborn. And maddening.

He followed the lone light to the room downstairs they both used as an office and sure enough Spock sat at his desk, a cup of tea beside him, staring at a computer.

For a long time, Jim just leaned against the doorframe, observing Spock at work, tiny frown lines between his eyes as he furrowed over something no doubt too illogical.

Jim had no doubt Spock was aware of his presence. They were always aware of each other.

“Are you still mad?”

Spock’s gaze met his, those dark eyes warm. “I was never truly angry.”

Jim came into the office and over to the desk and Spock pulled him down and into his lap. Their lips met in a deep kiss.

“Then what are you doing down here?”

“I had trouble feeling sleepy,” Spock admitted. “I received a message from my father that has…unsettled me.”

Jim glanced at the computer. “What’s wrong?”

“He seems a bit unwell. Just vague mentions but he appears to be…depressed. He is hard to read. I fear he doesn’t have long.”

“Do you want to go see him?”

“I do not want to draw you away from here. You like being here.”

Jim smiled, his heart warming further. There was never any doubt that Spock would go alone. They never went anywhere without the other anymore. Hardly ever did, really.

“I like being here because we’re together. It’s snowing.”

“I know.”

Jim laughed at Spock’s disgruntled face. “We can go. We should go. He’s our only parent left, we should go and see him.”

Spock nodded, his eyes turning solemn at the reminder they only had Sarek left as their elder. It was a reminder, Jim figured, of their own mortality.

“Hey.”

Spock looked at him.

Jim leaned down and kissed him. “We’re still here. I’m still here. And we have plenty of time.”

Spock returned his kiss and then looked at Jim with love. “Let’s go to bed. We can decide when to leave when we wake up.” And they left the home office together, arm in arm, heading upstairs.

Flash Fic, March 27, 2023

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Leonard growled when Jim jumped on his biobed. “Easy, Jim. You’re going to launch me off this bed and then I’ll have to stay extra days.”

Jim grinned and patted Leonard’s leg.

Leonard looked behind his friend and captain to the Vulcan standing at the foot of his biobed. “Can’t you keep him in line?”

“Me? Keep the captain in line? Are you out of your Human mind?”

Jim laughed and gave his typical heart-eyes look to Spock. The two of them made Leonard sick. Well, all right that wasn’t why he was in the medbay. But still. Why they hadn’t finally admitted they were gaga over each other was anyone’s guess.

Anyway, Leonard was currently a patient in his own medbay because he hadn’t moved fast enough out of the way on that godforsaken planet he hadn’t wanted to go down to anyway. But he’d thought he needed to keep an eye on Spock given the Vulcan’s recently injuries he’d been recovering from.

“How are you feeling, Bones?”

“You sound way too cheerful considering your best friend is in this bed.”

“My best friend? Spock’s standing right there.” Jim laughed again when Leonard threw a wad of gauze at Jim’s head.

“I’m feeling fine, thank you very much. I’m just a bit tired.”

“And you’d be fine resting in your own quarters, right? I’ll remind you of that next time you argue with me about it.” Jim patted Leonard’s leg once more and stood. “M’Benga says he’d gonna release you, so Spock and I will get out of your way.”

“Thank God for small favors,” Leonard grumped. He eyed them as they stood side by side, in perfect sync. “You two ever going to confess it?”

“Confess what?” Jim asked.

Leonard sighed. “Admit it?”

“Admit what?” Spock asked.  

Leonard gave them credit for keeping straight faces. He waved them away, shaking his head at their normal-for-them idiocy.

March 19, 2023 Flash Fic (birthday)

As promised here is the birthday hurt/comfort for Kris. This will count as Monday’s hurt/comfort because I don’t wanna write another one yet LOL. For those of you no doubt clamoring, yes, I will uplpoad to AO3 at some point (wow that was presumptuous of me thinking you would clamor)

And Happy Birthday

Jim moved slowly around his quarters, but at least they were his quarters instead of the medbay. He’d spent too many days there after another very close brush with death.

It had been a near thing. Jim knew that from Bones’ very grim face when treating him and afterward when allowing him to finally leave.

He’d heard all about how between the super blood and Spock’s intervention of the meld, Jim had finally pulled through.

Jim was relieved. He wasn’t ready to die. He’d only recently started his relationship with Spock, a loving, special, important one. To put it mildly.

Everyone was treating Jim very carefully and with a little bit of awe. He knew why. He’d saved the day for all of them and got almost killed in the process, but to Jim it was a group effort. Always.

Even Uhura had given him a long, tight hug in the medbay.

But…seemingly absent was Spock.

Oh he knew Spock had saved him. Pulled him from the brink with an exhausting meld that had likely taken a mental and physical toll on the Vulcan. But that had been forty-eight hours ago and he hadn’t seen Spock since.

Jim was growing concerned.

Dressed casually in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, he stood by the replicator trying to decide whether he should go for something healthy or something like comfort food when there was a buzz at his door.

“Come.”

He was ‘off-duty’ for a few more days but Jim knew a captain was truly never off duty.

And speaking of…

Spock stepped inside his quarters. He frowned in concern when he spotted Jim by the replicators.

“I was given to understand you would be resting in bed.”

“I know. I told Bones that. But I’m hungry.”

“Get into bed,” Spock said, making it sound like a cross between an order and a plea. “I will bring the food to you.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“Actually it is. What do you desire?”

The truth as to why you abandoned me for the last two days, Jim thought, but he kept that thought to himself and turned to go to his bed. After he got situated, with the sheets and blankets wrapped around him, and pillows propped at the headboard, he said, “Macaroni and cheese.”

Yes, he went for the comfort food. He could eat a damn salad when he was cleared to be on the bridge. He’d almost died, so yes, he wanted to have a treat.

Spock brought him a big bowl of it, looked like a double portion, and made with white cheese like Jim preferred. And maybe it was because he still was injured but the thought that Spock had done that for him made his eyes prick with tears.

“Thanks,” he managed to get out with his voice only wavering a little.

Spock fussed with his pillows and blankets for a moment before finally bringing a chair over to sit and observe Jim.

“What’s on your mind, Spock?” Jim asked, when neither one of them could stand it any longer.

Spock was quiet for a while, uncharacteristically staring at his hands instead of looking at Jim.

Jim began to get nervous. Had Spock decided he didn’t love Jim after all? Should he ask?

“You…you did not tell me you had a…intimate relationship with…Ambassador Spock,” his Vulcan said haltingly.

Jim pursed his lips and set the half-eaten bowl of macaroni and cheese aside for the moment. He hadn’t exactly lost his appetite, but this needed his full attention.

“You found that out through the meld?”

Spock nodded. “It was not my intention to pry.”

“No, I know. I never would think that, Spock.” He sighed. “I really love you. Are we going to be okay?”

Spock looked a little startled at Jim’s words but after a moment, he said, “What happened in the past has no direct bearing on our future.”

Jim clenched the blankets and twisted them in his fists. “Is that a yes?”

“There is nothing you can say or do or explain or think that will make my love for you not exist, Jim. I am completely committed to you for the rest of whatever time is left for us.”

Jim exhaled slowly. “It wasn’t…I didn’t actively hide it from you, but it also didn’t seem necessary for you to know. After I…after Khan, he came to see me in the hospital during my recovery. Once you had determined I was going to be okay, well, you went back to your own live and your own relationship with Uhura.”

“Jim, I—”

“We’ve both made peace with that, Spock. I know you love me and have for some time. I get…insecure sometimes, but, yeah I do know. We’re what we are now because we want to be together and that’s the best thing ever. But then, you were with Nyota, and I just…I needed something you couldn’t give me then. He could. And more importantly, he wanted to give it to me. It was as much for him as it was for me. He missed his Jim and I wanted my Spock and we became for each other this incredible thing and incredible time and it was just…it was great.”

Spock seemed to take this in. “I am glad you were able to have some comfort there but am still surprised that you didn’t tell me. More recently when we became intimate ourselves.”

“I guess part of me wanted to keep it as a secret for myself.” Jim shook his head. “It was a great time for us. For him. For me. And logically it ended when it had to.”

“I grieve with you for your loss when he passed. Even then you did not let on.”

Jim nodded. “I knew he was dying before he did. He’d sent me word, given what had been between us at one time, I said my goodbye to him in happier times. We both felt that was better, but I did know he was weakening. I loved him. And I don’t regret our time together. But the future, my future, is with you.”

“As is mine with you. I understand, I believe. And I cannot really find fault with his desire to spend what time he had left with you. I am glad you found happiness together.” Spock paused. His gaze was intense as he looked at Jim. “But I am even more glad that you now find your happiness with me.”

Jim smiled, feeling love and warmth bubble up inside him. He held out a hand toward Spock. “Come here.”

“Your injuries—”

“Just come and lie with me, holding me. You can’t hurt me. You won’t.”

A moment later, Spock joined him on the bed, and under the covers, holding Jim close. He put his fingers lightly on Jim’s face, more a caress, than a meld, but he felt Spock’s overwhelming love for him, and it went  a long way toward Jim knowing they would be all right.

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