Something curled in Spock’s stomach, ugly and fluttery and painful. It rose from there and caused a dull pain in his side where his heartbeat.
“I…do not understand.” He was flustered and repeating himself but his logical brain could not compute.
“I know you don’t understand!”
And just like that the cheerful pretense Kirk had been displaying vanished as though it had never been there. Instead there was angry fire in his blue eyes.
“And that’s exactly the problem, Spock. You just never get it.”
“Jim, I—”
“You were with Uhura for years—”
“We are not together anymore,” Spock interrupts.
“Yeah you’ve been broken up for five minutes,” Jim said, sarcastically. “You were together for years, Spock. Years. And you never moved forward. Never bonded. Never married. You were satisfied with…I don’t even know what you were satisfied with. Your commitment to not commit.”
“Why are you so angry? You were explaining what happened in the alternate universe with my counterpart.”
Jim sighed heavily and turned away. “In that universe Spock loves his captain. When I returned from the mission, he thought I was his captain. As soon as I got to the captain’s quarters, Spock was all over me.”
“He forced himself on you?”
“No! I wanted it. He was full of passion and heat and was so hungry for me. It was intoxicating. I couldn’t get enough.”
Each word was like a lash against Spock’s heart.
“When he finally realized I was not his captain, it didn’t matter to either of us. We continued being together. Neither of us knew if I would come back here or his Kirk would return there, so we continued with each other, and he protected me from the reality of all that.”
Jim turned around to face him once more.
“It was the most amazing experience of my life.”
Spock blinked. He thought he might just vomit.
“It should have been with you,” Jim whispered hoarsely. “But I knew it never would be.”
He’d almost called out Jim, but Spock was still somewhat unsure how far their friendship had progressed and though Kirk had once or twice told Spock it was fine to use his first name, and Spock had even done so a few times, there was something about Jim’s stance as he stood by the observation window that made him abort and switch to captain.
Still Jim turned to him with a warm, welcoming smile.
“Is there a problem with the ship, Mr. Spock?”
It was said cheerfully yet Spock detected an edge behind it. It was perplexing and he couldn’t have explained why it seemed strange.
“Negative. It was for a more personal matter that I sought you out.”
“Yeah?” He stepped over slightly to allow Spock to stand beside him. “I’ve heard you pretty much threw our counterparts right in the brig the minute they beamed aboard.”
“It was not as quickly as that, but it did not take long. They were very confused by what they encountered and unlike your party found themselves unable to adapt to their new surroundings. It took them quite a long time to guess they were no longer in the universe they had known.”
Kirk nodded. “I’m sure it was a shock considering what they were used to.”
“And yet you kept your cool and managed to do a very good job of blending in there.”
“Mm. I think it’s easier to play barbaric than civilized.”
“You may be correct.”
His captain smiled. “Was there anything else?”
Spock felt confused. He blew out a long breath. “None of that was of a personal nature,” he said carefully.
“No?” Kirk looked genuinely quizzical and that made two of them. “What then? You need a leave or something?”
“A leave? I do not. This does not concern me personally, but rather you.”
Kirk laughed then. “Me?”
“You have not said much about your experience in the other universe. I wished to know if you need…if there is someone you would like to confide in regarding your experience.”
Kirk didn’t respond for a long time and in fact he had turned away from Spock to gaze out at the stars.
“If you suffered abuse—”
“I didn’t.” The words were a soft whisper. “It wasn’t like that at all.”
“What was it like? The others implied the Terran Empire was ruthless and brutal.”
“Yes, it was. As far as I could tell, the Terran Empire is ruled by cruel and violent Humans who desire power above all things. Life means nothing to them. Not their own nor anyone else’s.”
“But you did not experience this firsthand?”
“I might have.”
“You…might have?”
“But he protected me.”
Spock frowned. “Who? I do not understand, Captain.”
Jim gave him a ghost of a smile and shook his head. “I know you don’t. And that’s why I haven’t said anything. In that universe, there never was a Nyota. Not for him.”
Spock tilted his head.
“Spock protected me in that universe. We were lovers.”
*While I hope to finish this little story this week, please note that I will be gone Thursday-Sunday for my nephew’s Vegas wedding so there are simply no guarantees. If it’s not, you can expect it to be next week. *
It had been two days since Captain Kirk, Lieutenant Uhura, Commander Scott, and Doctor McCoy had returned from the Empire ruled Mirror Universe.
Two days since Spock had sent the oddly barbaric versions of those same officers back to that universe after determining they were not where they should be.
Spock had learned from Nyota about the atrocities that were the norm for that universe. Mister Scott had shuddered every time he was asked questions about it. Leonard had mentioned he’d likely have nightmare from some of what he’d seen.
Kirk said nothing.
Even Leonard had mumbled something about ‘Jim being radio silent’ and some memory of Earth’ history flashed through Spock’s mind, but he could not quite place the reference.
For those two days, Spock gave him space. Unlike the others, Kirk was relaxed and easy going. He answered questions on every other subject readily and efficiently. He did not radiate the same tension and unease the others had, though admittedly theirs had all lessened and they were nearly back to normal. What passed for normal for each of them anyway.
If you were not a Kirk watcher you might not know. But they all were. They noticed.
Spock noticed most of all.
Something was not right.
He had intended to seek him out in his quarters after his shift one night only to find he was not there. And though he could wander the ship seeking Kirk’s usual spots, he found that he did not have the heart for it, so he used the computer to pinpoint that Kirk was on the observation deck.
He then also used the computer to determine Kirk was alone.
Spock had no desire to discover Kirk having time with a paramour. At present, he did not think Kirk was seeing a member of the crew, certainly not since Doctor Marcus had departed after their breakup, but Spock did not want to take any chances.
Fortunately it seemed Captain Kirk had no company.
Still Spock hesitated to disturb him.
They were building a good friendship, Spock thought. There were still parts of Jim that he did not share with Spock. He was uncertain if he shared them with anyone, even McCoy.
Spock was not sure they had the friendship the ambassador had alluded to, at least to the extent he’d had with his Kirk, but Spock believed they were back to making progress.
Progress had been stalled right around the time they’d been confronted by Krall and Altamid. When Spock had intended to resign to go to New Vulcan and Kirk had applied for a command position on Yorktown.
Spock did not know what caused the rift between them, but he’d felt it.
Since they had returned to the repaired and rebuilt Enterprise, their friendship had seemed to strengthen.
Until Jim had gone to the mirror universe.
But the only way to learn the truth was to ask his captain to explain just what he had experienced in that universe. So he went to the observation deck to find Kirk.
“The hell I’m not,” Jim insisted to Bones, who had grabbed onto him to prevent him from going into the farmhouse after the Klingon.
“I’m your doctor and I forbid it. Now I know Spock did his mumbo jumbo to your head and now you mostly remember, but you were injected with a drug that wasn’t meant for you and you had a bad reaction. I need to thoroughly examine you back on the ship before I clear you for regular duty!”
“This is hardly normal circumstances and I need to…where’s Spock?” Jim looked around the immediate area and sure enough his husband and first office was nowhere to be seen.
But before he could panic too much, the Vulcan appeared carrying the other now unconscious Klingon.
Jim turned to Bones, giving him the stink-eye. “You deliberately distracted me while Spock went in there, didn’t you?”
“You bet I did. I meant every word too.”
“This isn’t over.”
Bones snorted. “Seems over to me. Now let’s get the other one and get back to our time. And our mess. Let’s leave theirs to them.”
Jim looked back at the farmhouse. The pumpkins and the scarecrows. A much earlier version of the same house he had grown up in.
He suddenly felt such sorrow it nearly brought him to his knees. This had been a happy place once.
“Jim?” Spock spoke softly.
“Yeah, I’m coming.”
****
“This is the place?”
“So it would seem.”
Jim eyed Spock. “How do we do that with twiddle dee and dum here? Do we have to go through all five us at once? How is that going to work?”
“I am fairly certain I can carry them through with me, you two just need to keep up.” Spock sounded amused. Jim was anything but.
“Ha ha.”
“Can we speed this up?” Bones asked. “I’m getting nervous. I don’t want this thing to close on us so we can’t go back.”
“Okay, okay. You’re such a weenie,” Jim teased.
“Just call me Doctor…you know what? Never mind. You totally would.”
“Ready?” Spock asked.
“Wait! I can’t leave.”
Bones and Spock gaped at him.
“Not until I find out who shot JR.”
“It was Kristin,” Spock said calmly.
“Kristin? Are you sure?”
“Who’s Kristin?” Bones asked. “Who the hell is JR?”
“Yes, Kristin. Let’s go, Captain.”
“I can’t believe it. I mean I guess it makes some sort of sense,” Jim said, then he said, “Go!”
A moment later they ran back out of the Guardian of Forever.
But there were only three of them. Spock, Bones and Jim.
“Damn! The Klingons!”
“Fear Not,” the booming mechanical voice of the Guardian spoke. “The Klingons have been returned to their Bird of Prey in their sector. They will have no memory of their time in Earth Nineteen Eighty.”
“Are you sure?” Jim asked.
“Yes, Captain Kirk. When you return to your ship, you too will have no memory from your time there. We will see to that.”
“And did I change history? Did they? My ancestor…James Kirk…”
“He is once more alive in Riverside at the farmhouse in 1980.”
That made Jim happy.
“Thanks. Is he okay?”
“He is in good health and has no recollection of any adverse events.”
“You mean of being dead?” Jim asked, dryly. “Did they do that?”
“Your appearance necessitated his temporary removal. Had you remained, he would have ceased to exist as he was known.” There was a long pause. “As would many others. You are responsible for the lives of millions having been saved, Captain Kirk. Do not take that lightly.”
“I don’t.”
“Goodbye.”
And the Guadian went dark.
Still Jim lingered and after a moment he realized he and Spock were alone. Bones had gone off to the beam up point.
“Jim?”
“I’m just…in a lot of ways, I really liked living in 1980. I liked the house. Decorating for fall. The simplicity. Free of all the complications in my real life. It was…good for a while.”
Spock shook his head and drew Jim into his arms. “I am not certain you would adapt to such a life long term. You are not a sedentary sort who can spend his nights on the couch watching television.”
“But see, Spock, that’s exactly what I did. And I don’t know, for the time I was there, I really wasn’t bored.”
“It was an escape from reality that perhaps you required.” Spock tilted his head. “And Becky?”
Jim smiled. “She was a nice lady but to be honest I don’t even remember that much about her or the time I spent with her. She…never felt right. Not for me.”
“And?”
Jim kissed him. “You’re the only one who’s ever felt right.”
“I am gratified.”
For a long time they just held each other.
“There is no where I would not go to retrieve thee,” Spock said softly in Vulcan.
“I know.” Jim briefly touched their foreheads together.
“Shall we?”
“Mm. Still it would have been nice to remember all that happened there. It’s already fading though.”
“Indeed.”
They started walking away from the Guardian.
“I don’t think she’s right for him either.”
“Becky?”
“Uh-huh. She wants him to move to Colorado. I don’t think he should.”
Spock made a humming sound. Jim looked at him.
“You know something?”
“You are quite correct. He does not go to Colorado with Becky.”
“I knew it! That’s great.”
Spock shook his head, took Jim’s hand, and led him to where Bones stood waiting. Spock handed Jim his communicator.
Jim tried not to flinch when Spock’s hand rested on his face. He didn’t think Spock would hurt him and he believed that they had melded before. It seemed right. But he couldn’t quite remember so he was apprehensive.
“It does not hurt.”
Jim nodded. “Just…” He waved his hand.
“My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts.” Then there was a pause. “Remember.”
“Bones, come up to the bridge. Lieutenant Gregory’s having some kind of seizure.”
“Hold on to him, damnit!”
“Doctor! You have injected the captain!”
“Jim no!”
The meld abruptly ended as Jim pulled away, Spock’s hand dropping from his face.
“Spock!”
“Jim, you remember?”
“Yes.” He blinked several times and then touched his head. “I’m still a little hazy but yes.”
“Jim—”
“Save it, Bones. I know it was all an accident. I know things got crazy.”
“But—”
“Seriously. We can talk about the circumstances later. We have more important priorities right now.”
“Indeed,” Spock spoke up. “We need to locate his companion, disable him, and the find the Guardian to go through the portal.”
Jim pushed at the Klingon’s leg with the toe of his shoe. “Any ideas where his buddy is?”
“His last known location was at the college where you taught courses.”
He frowned. “Who exactly was I supposed to be? Some of this is still fuzzy.”
Bones stepped closer and put his hand on Jim’s arm. “Near as we can figure, you had an ancestor in the late 1970s Riverside also named James Kirk who taught at the college.”
“And I took on his identity? Where is he?”
“It appears he passed away in late 1979,” Spock replied. “Not a lot of information can be found about how or why, however, you apparently resembled him enough to become him in the eyes of those he knew.”
“Such as Becky.” Jim shook his head. “So this poor bugger croaks and I just take over his life, even his girlfriend?”
Bones snorted. “Looks like it, Jim.”
“And you don’t know how he died? What if he isn’t?”
Spock shrugged. “Evidence suggests he is, however, if he isn’t, presumably he will reappear when we return to our time. This time period lacks a lot of technology to thoroughly investigate matters and our focus has been on you and the Klingons.”
“Yeah okay.” Jim looked down at the still unconscious Klingon. “How long can we keep him like that?”
“I can use an extended method to keep him out for hours. We will leave him in the farmhouse while we look for the other.”
“Okay. So, I have to ask, why were you two lurking outside my house?”
“Lurking?”
“Yeah one night I heard this big crash and there were some other times I swear I saw like glowing red eyes out by the scarecrows.” Jim eyed Bones. “It had to be you. I know it’s October and you have a weird sense of what’s funny.”
“Don’t look at me,” Bones denied it. “I’ll cop to the crash as we were here keeping an eye on your, Spock especially since you were cozying up to that girl but—”
Jim glanced at Spock and winced at his narrowed gaze. “I wasn’t in my right mind. And anyway, we only ever kissed.” He paused. “Maybe.”
“The point is,” Bones interrupted to get Jim’s attention back to him. We don’t have anything to do with glowing red eyes.”
“You were here for several months on your own before we could locate you, are you saying you did not have intercourse with her during that entire time?”
“Time has to move differently here. Don’t you think?”
“You are avoiding answering.”
“Can you two maybe do this later when we’re back on the ship?”
“Yeah, okay,” Jim agreed. “Let’s go get that Klingon.”
Spock suddenly stiffened. “I do not think it will be necessary to go anywhere.”
The inside of the barn was dark, shadowy, and it caused Jim to feel very uneasy. He raised the disruptor weapon, his heart thumping hard in his chest.
If he really was a captain of a starship as McCoy said, wouldn’t that make him a badass? He shouldn’t be afraid, right?
It was a lot to take in and even more to believe, but maybe Jim wanted to believe it. Because his life here in Riverside didn’t seem to make sense.
“Here, Captain. Jim.”
He turned slightly to the right and yes, there was Spock within arm’s reach.
“I apologize. I wanted to spend time searching the barn fig signs of our missing Klingon or perhaps instability in the portal we all went through.”
“McCoy told me some of that.” Jim frowned. “And was there? Instability, I mean.”
“None that I could detect. I fear that we are running out of time to make our escape though.”
“By your calculations, assuming I believe any of this is true, how long have I been here?”
“Six months.”
“That long? How long have you been here trying to reach me?”
“We couldn’t calculate the exact month and time you appeared in 1980s Riverside, so we had to estimate. We’ve been here only three months.”
Jim nodded. “So during that time, I what? Established some kind of relationship with Becky. And who am I supposed to be here?”
Spock gestured to the barn entrance. “Let’s return to restrain the Klingon. Then I have an idea that may help both of us reach clarity.”
They exited the barn where McCoy stood next to the still unconscious Klingon. Spock bent down to tie him up and Jim noticed him squeeze his hand next to the Klingon’s neck. Which reminded him of his own bruise.
“How do the Klingons fit into all this?”
“They chased you through the portal,” McCoy answered. “They were on the planet with the Guardian.”
Jim shook his head. “I definitely need to know more.”
Spock straightened. “Yes. I suggest a meld.”
“A meld?”
“Between our minds. We’ve done it many times.”
Jim looked doubtful. “We have? Just what is our relationship?”
“I think you know,” Spock said softly.
“Maybe. I’ve had…dreams.”
Spock came closer until he stood right in front of Jim. He raised his hand toward Jim’s face. “I will not hurt you.”
Jim was surprised to realize that he wanted to take Spock’s outstretched hand. So he came around the wood pile, stepped over the…creature or whatever he was lying on the ground…and placed his hand in Spock’s.
He was even more surprised when Spock drew him near and embraced him, holding him close as though he were precious to Spock.
Jim swallowed hard. “That’s not a Halloween costume that guy is wearing, is it?”
“It is not. He is a Klingon.”
Jim drew back to see Spock’s face, but he didn’t pull away entirely. “Klingon. This should all freak me out more, shouldn’t it?”
“I believe you are getting your memories back, though slowly.”
“Memories?”
Spock shook his head. “It is difficult to explain.”
“Try me.”
Spock glanced down at the Klingon. “First we need to secure him before he revives. There is yet one more like him we will need to capture before we can depart.”
Jim did move out of the embrace now. “I think I saw some rope in the barn there. Hang on.”
“Be careful, Jim. We don’t know the location of this one’s companion.”
Which of course made the butterflies in Jim’s stomach take flight, but he walked over to the door of the barn and threw it open.
“You don’t happen to have a flashlight in your arsenal, do you?” Jim asked. “It’s pretty dark in here.”
Spock put his hand on Jim’s arm. “Wait here. I’ll go in since I have a phaser.”
“What if that guy wakes up?”
“He will not. I will be out in a moment.”
Jim watched Spock go inside the barn for the rope. He turned around and crouched down by the Klingon and spotted what looked like some kind of gun.
He lifted it off the unconscious Klingon just as he heard the scuff of a footstep. He raised the gun.
“Hey, hey, hey. I’m on your side.” McCoy had his hands up. He had obviously come outside to see what was going on. “No hypospray, I promise. Put that disruptor down before you hurt someone. Namely me.”
Jim looked at the weapon in his hand. “A disruptor, you say?”
“Yeah. A Klingon weapon.”
Jim straightened and stood but he didn’t put the disruptor down. He figured it might come in handy if the Klingon woke.
“Where’s Spock?”
“Getting some rope.” Jim eyed McCoy. ”You want to give me your story?”
“Well.” McCoy crossed his arms over his chest and tapped the fingers of his one hand on the other arm. “I was on the bridge—”
“The bridge?”
“You are the captain of a starship.”
Jim laughed. “A what?”
“It’s complicated. Anyway, there was an incident on the bridge with another crew member and when I tried to medicate him there was a scuffle and it ended up being injected into you instead. You had a very bad reaction. You transported yourself down to this planet—”
“Earth?”
“Not really. A version of past Earth accessed through this portal called Guardian of Forever. Basically you’re on the planet with that portal.” McCoy paused. “I think. Look, I don’t know the science of it or whatever. I just know you somehow got hit on the noggin after the shot and you’ve lost your marbles.”
Jim sighed. “You’re giving me a headache, Bones.”
McCoy whooped. “You just called me Bones!”
“Huh?”
“Your nickname for me.”
Jim suddenly turned and looked toward the barn. “Spock’s been gone a long time looking for rope. I’m going in.”
“Indeed. And I am quite finished doing things your way.”
“I know you blame me for this and—”
Spock shook his head. “Wherever the blame falls with regard to Jim’s circumstances is irrelevant. If we are not able to retrieve him so that the three of us can return to the Enterprise—”
“We can’t leave Earth in 1980 with Klingons, Spock! That’s going to change history and not for the good.”
Spock sighed. “I am well aware. For now, my task is to retrieve the captain before he does harm to himself or the Klingons do it. Stay here.”
“But—”
“In case Jim returns here. Try to contain your impulse to immediately stick him with a hypospray.”
Spock walked out the back door to look for Jim.
“Jim?”
It was dark and difficult to see with the fog that had appeared in the yard.
“Jim? It is Spock. Please come back. I will attempt to explain everything. You are not in danger from me.”
Spock held his phaser, prepared to eliminate any threats to Jim.
It was unfortunate that when Jim went through the portal of the Guardians of Forever, two Klingons followed directly after him. It had taken Spock and McCoy too long to discover exactly where in Earth’s history Jim ended up and then they realized Jim had no memory of his real life and was living this life of a Kirk ancestor.
Now not only did Spock and McCoy have to help Jim rediscover his true identity so they could leave the portal to return to the Enterprise, but they also had to find a way to get the Klingons out as well.
All because Jim had been injected with a drug that caused madness, temporary as it was supposed to be. It should not be surprising to Spock that Jim would have an extreme reaction.
He turned a corner to go behind the house where Spock knew a path led to the barn in the back that housed some farming equipment.
Spock spotted Jim crouched down behind a stack of firewood, clearly unaware of the Klingon Spock also saw approaching him.
His heart immediately leapt from his side to his mouth. He didn’t call out for fear that would alert the Klingon to his presence who then might take the opportunity to use a weapon on Jim.
Being as quiet as he could, Spock moved closer, as he feared from the distance he had been he wouldn’t get an accurate enough shot to dispatch the Klingon.
Now close enough to take the shot, Spock wasted no time firing his phaser and felling the Klingon.
Jim straightened and stood, eyes wide open to gawk first at Spock and the Klingon now lying face down on the ground.
“Is he dead?” Jim asked in a whisper.
“Stunned,” Spock replied. “However, he will need to be restrained for the duration of our time here.”
With the beanie gone, Spock stood in front of Jim staring back at him.
And yes, Jim was staring.
He definitely had a full head of silky dark hair. The bowl cut style was a bit odd but to each their own, Jim thought.
But the striking part was Spock had pointy ears. Like an elf or something. Of the fae folk his grandmother used to tell stories of. They looked real, too, not like a Halloween costume. Jim was tempted to reach out and tug at them just to be sure, but he dropped his hand just before he actually touched one.
“I am sure you have questions.”
Jim blew out his breath. He also had oddly shaped eyebrows. Sure he knew plenty of people who waxed or trimmed their unibrow but these were thinned and shaped in the extreme.
“My questions have questions,” Jim admitted.
“I am…Vulcan.”
“Vulcan,” Jim repeated. “Is that east of Budapest?”
“Definitely more North.”
Jim considered this. “How far north?”
Spock pointed up.
“I don’t understand.”
“Vulcan is another planet. It is not on Earth at all.”
“Another planet? Like a Martian?”
“No. Martians, if they existed, would be from Mars. Vulcans are from Vulcan.”
“I see.” Jim didn’t see at all. And he wondered if this guy in front of him was as much of a whack job as he seemed.
At that moment, Jim’s front door opened and in walked Leonard McCoy from the college.
“Wait. What the hell are you doing here?” Jim took a step back.
“Jim, do not be afraid. Doctor McCoy is here to help.”
“Doctor? Help?” Jim backed up even more. “Are you two in cahoots?”
McCoy made a face. “Cahoots isn’t quite the word. But Jim, we are working together. I’m your doctor and I need—”
Jim laughed hysterically. “Doctor? My doctor? I don’t have a doctor, buddy.”
“Jim, let us help you. You’re sick.”
“Sick?”
“Yes, something happened on the Enterprise and you got injured and it made you sick and you went through a portal. But I have the antidote if you’ll just let me—”
And McCoy held up the needle Jim had seen before and he could see it was filled with some yellow substance Jim assumed he intended to inject in Jim.
He shook his head frantically. “I don’t think so, pal.”
Then Spock raised his hand outward toward Jim’s shoulder.
:”Uh-uh.” Jim got his hand on the doorknob of the back door, twisted it open, and backed out of it, to make a break for it.
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 