Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings


August Flashes

Flash Fic, August 30, 2021

This one might be a bit sad to some. This concludes August

George Kirk was pretty sure he had everything ready to leave. He’d checked and double-checked. His wife, Winona, was avoiding him. He knew why. She did and didn’t want to go. He understood and felt the same way.

Prior to this day, they’d had that conversation.

“You don’t have to come, sweetheart. You can be reassigned to a place in San Francisco. Then Sam can stay with you while I’m on the Kelvin.”

“I know,” she said softly. “I know that’s true. But this assignment is short. It’ll mean so much to both our careers. After the baby’s born, I’ll be back here anyway.” She’d rested her hand on her still flat stomach.

Their second child. They’d decided not to learn what they were having this time. With George Samuel, they had decided to find out. It had been fun, but this time, they’d decided to make it a surprise. George thought she probably wanted a little girl, but he’d be happy with either.


George turned to his father, Tiberius Kirk. He was looking older than he’d ever looked before to George. That concerned him some. He worked hard on the Riverside farm and he had no one to help him these days.

“You okay, Dad?”

“Sure, sure. You ready to go?”

“I think so. You get my boy settled in?”

Sam was going to stay with George’s parents until Winona returned to Earth after her Kelvin assignment. Children didn’t belong on a starship. Eventually Winona would settle back here with both their children and George would continue on the Kelvin. George was going to be First Officer.

“Yep. He’ll be fine. Probably ought to say your goodbye though. I’ll then drive you two to the shuttlebay while Mom stays with Sam.”

“Right. Okay.”

George gave his Dad’s shoulder a squeeze, then went over to where his mother waited with little Sam, who barely knew how to walk. He probably would never remember his parents’ absence. That gave George some comfort.

He first hugged his mom, who wrapped her arms tight around him. 

He smiled when she released him. “Think Dad’s all right?”

“He was complaining about some aches and pains. He’s not a young man anymore, George. I expect you’ll know what that’s like yourself one day.”

He laughed. “Yeah. But not for a long long time, Mom. I’m not even thirty.”

She reached up to ruffle his hair. “Don’t I know it. Never mind. Your son will be fine here. He’s a sweet boy and you’ll both be back with him before you know it.”

George nodded and dropped to his haunches to hug and say goodbye to his son. “Okay, buddy, Daddy has to go. Daddy and Mommy.”

“Go?” His fat little bottom lip trembled.

“Yeah for work. But we’ll be back. Mommy first before you know it. And you’ll have a little brother or sister.”

Sam didn’t seem too sure about it and his eyes were getting wet.

“Hey.” Georg hugged him. “You’re going to be fine. Grandma and Grandpa will take good care if you.”


“Daddy loves you. So much. And I will be back. I promise.”

He hugged his son again and then waited while Winona did too, openly sobbing.

It was too late for her to stay behind, they both knew it, but George made the suggestion anyway when she joined him, still wiping her eyes.

“You could—”

She shook her head. “Let’s just go.”

He smiled and leaned over to kiss her forehead. “It’ll be all right, Win. This is going to be great for our family.”

She smiled back. “I know. Let’s go before I run back to him.”

George turned to go.


Giving her hand a squeeze, George turned back just as little Sam waddled over to him on unsteady legs and hugged George’s legs. He felt tears sting his own eyes. This was all much harder than he had expected. He scooped Sam up, kissed his cheek and then handed him to his mom, quickly leaving.


Sam held onto his two-year-old brother’s hand while Mama talked to Grandma. He could sort of hear what she was saying.

“I can’t handle taking care of them right now. I don’t know what else to do. So if I could just leave them here with you—”

“Of course you can.”

 “Just for a short time until I can get my act together. It’s been so hard without George and—”

“Yes, I know. I’ll take care of those boys.”

“I know you just lost Tiberius but—”

“No, no. You just do what you need to do, Winona, honey. Sam and Jimmy are safe with me.”

Sam watched as Mama glanced their way. She had left bags with their things next to Grandma. She wiped her eyes and then instead of coming back to Sam and Jim, she hurried away from the farmhouse.

“Mama,” Jim whined.

Grandma came over to them with a smile. “Come on in, boys. We’re going to have a wonderful time together. Don’t you worry. And your Mama will be back real soon. Before you know it.”

Sam glanced at Jim as Grandma began to walk toward their bags. “Don’t believe it, Jimmy.  They always say that.”

He tightened his hold on Jim’s hand and followed after Grandma.


“You’ll be staying with me and Frank now.”

Sam didn’t look away from his grandmother’s grave. She was buried next to grandfather. There was no grave for George Kirk, Sam’s dad. There had been nothing left to bury.

His mom had come with a man who attempted to smile at them like he was okay, but Sam didn’t buy it. There was something in Frank’s eyes Sam just didn’t trust.

“Sam, come on. Frank is waiting over there with your brother.”

“What about this place?” Sam asked.

“We’ll sell it. Frank has his own farm. We don’t need this old place. It needs a bunch of repairs anyway. Now stop stalling and let’s go.”

Sam bent down and put a rose on his grandmother’s grave. This time there was no one to say they’d be back before Sam knew it.


“Why are you leaving?”

Sam almost wavered at the pained look on brother’s face. Almost. But he couldn’t stand to live there one more day. His mom was gone again. On some assignment for Starfleet. And they were stuck with Frank. Sam hated Frank.

“Because I can’t be a Kirk in this house.”

“Please. Please don’t go.”

Sam swallowed. Looked off into the distance, beyond where Frank stood, glaring at them. He looked back at Jim. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Jim stared at him. Then he looked down at the ground and nodded, as Sam moved away, to leave Riverside behind.


Jim shared a look with Spock. Pursed his lips, and then approached the little boy sitting on the biobed, his small legs dangling off the side. He had strawberry blond hair and a smattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks.

“Hi,” Jim said softly.

“Hello,” he said in a small voice.

“Are you feeling better, Peter?”

“Uh-huh. Not in pain anymore.”

Jim smiled. “That’s good. Listen, uh, your dad—”

“I know he’s not coming back,” Peter said. “They never come back.”

Jim felt a lump form in his throat. He felt Spock’s hand on the small of his back and he sent thanks through their bond.

“He isn’t coming back, you’re right. And your mom, too.”

Peter nodded. “I’m-I’m an orphan.”

“Me too.”

Peter looked up at Jim, surprised. “You are?”

“Yes. My dad has been…gone since I was born. I never knew him. My mom, your grandma, died last summer.” Jim glanced at Spock. “Spock’s mom is gone too. But he still has his dad.”

Peter looked at Spock, then back to Jim. “Who will take care of me? Where will I go?”

Jim let out a steady breath. “You aren’t going anywhere.”


“You’re going to live here with me and Spock. On the Enterprise. We’ll take care of you.”

“You, Uncle Jim?”

“Yes,” Jim said. “It’s all arranged. Me, Spock, and the whole crew. We’re going to be your family and you’ll be ours.”

Peter seemed to think about this and then he nodded. “Uncle Jim?”

“Yes, Peter?”

“Can we go to the mess? I’m super hungry.”

Jim laughed and helped Peter off the biobed. “You bet. Spock and I are hungry too.”

Flash Fic, August 27, 2021

“State your name,” the admiral said.

“You know my name.”

“This is for the official record.”

“Jim Kirk.”


”Full name, please.”

Jim looked away from the screen and collected himself. “James Tiberius Kirk.”

“Rank and ship.”

“Captain of the USS Enterprise.”

“In your own words, please give an official account of the incident that cost the lives of Lieutenants Graves, Mastrantonio and Richardson.”

Jim straightened behind his desk. Fidgeting a little. He’d already gone through this with two other admirals. This was supposed to be the final one. It hadn’t gotten any easier from the first two.

“We were exploring the planet, Cosar Three, after a distress signal. We’d received a distress signal from the scientists stationed there, but when we arrived there were no life signs and no…bodies of the scientists.”

He’d known one of the scientists.  They’d been friends once and then lovers. And then nothing.

When he paused for too long, the admiral prodded, “Go on.”

“I chose a landing party consisting of myself, chief medical officer, Leonard McCoy, Commander Spock, and Lieutenants Graves, Mastrantonio, and Richardson. Graves was a science officer reporting to Commander Spock. Mastrantonio, and Richardson were security officers. The three of them had exited the empty laboratory and were preparing to continue their exploration of the surrounding area where they were abruptly attached by a gaseous entity.”

“You personally witnessed this attack?”

Jim swallowed and nodded. “They had screamed as they were set upon and myself, Doctor McCoy, and Mr. Spock exited the lab, phasers drawn and at the ready. While we watched, the creature consumed the entire bodies of the three officers. After that, it moved off in another direction and away from the remaining members of the landing party. We returned at once to the Enterprise.”

“And you had no prior readings of this gaseous entity before it attacked your officers?”

“None. Mere seconds before their screams, Spock got a strange reading on his tricorder. That was the first indication we had that there was any other life form there. We can only assume that the scientists from Cosar Three were set upon by the same creature.”

“And what has happened to the entity since your first encounter with it?”

“Through research and trial and error, Lieutenant Commander Scott and Commander Spock were able to discover the way to eliminate it and its threat. The creature was destroyed.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“And there were no additional casualties save for Graves, Mastrantonio, and Richardson.”


“All right. That’s the end of the office record.” The admiral sat back. “Jim. You did everything right. You bare no responsibility.”

“Tell that to the guilt that’s eating at me, Mom.”

She smiled gently at him. “Every admiral who has questioned you and the others have exonerated you and your crew from blame. In fact, you saved other planets and other humanoids from becoming victims of this same entity.”

Jim shook his head. “Maybe. I can’t help wonder if there are more of them out there.”

“If there are, you and your crew discovered how to take care of them. That’s something too.”

He nodded.

“I’ve taken care of informing their families of their loss. They’ll get full lifetime benefits provided by Starfleet.”

“I know.”

“It’s not easy, I know.” She sighed and leaned back. “Besides your dad, I lost many friends that day on the Kelvin and on many missions since. I’m grateful to still have you.”

“Thanks, Mom. I just…it doesn’t seem to get easier.”

“No, it never does. Where’s Spock?”

“On the bridge, I think. Should be back soon.”

“Let him take care of your for a while. He can ease your burden.”

“I will. And you’re right, he will.” He attempted a smile. “Thanks for everything, Mom. I’m glad this last one was you.”

“Me too. And that’s it. The reports have been filed and the case is closed. Talk soon, Jim. Kirk out.”

And his screen went back to the Starfleet screen.

At that moment he heard the door of the quarters being accessed. He got up from behind his desk and went to greet Spock at the door. As Jim went into Spock’s arms, he whispered, “You give the best hugs. I’ve missed you.”

Flash Fic, August 25, 2021

It’s late. The last few drinks of the last few minutes in the last bar of the shore leave Jim and the bridge crew have been enjoying. Jim’s pleasantly buzzed but not falling down drunk or anything. He’s been nursing the martini he’s been drinking for a while, just listening to the crew banter.

The shore leave wasn’t long enough but it never is. Jim suspects if it was three months, it would somehow seem too short, and this was a mere three days.

They met up here on the last night, having gone their separate ways until then.

Jim hasn’t seen any of them until a few hours ago and it feels good to see them, though he senses that some shore leaves were less than successful.    

Normally Jim would have probably spent his time with Bones, but this time, Jim thought it was best to spend it doing their own thing. All of them spent far too much time together really, and it could be…monotonous.

Bones looks like had a good time, though he hasn’t said what he did and Jim hasn’t asked.

Jim guesses everyone there probably thinks he spent the days getting laid by different people every hour or some such crap, but none of it’s true. He’d learned before shore leave that Sam and his wife, Aurelan, and their toddler son, Peter, would be on the same planet while Jim was there, so he’d spent his time with them, doing the family thing, and it had been good.

Sulu was meeting his husband Ben and their daughter and he seems in good spirits and yet Jim senses melancholy too. Probably because it’s over all too soon.

Chekov was Chekov of course and he’s been drinking a lot since they arrived.

Sitting beside Jim on his left is Spock. Bones is on the right chatting away with Scotty and Jaylah, who sits on Scotty’s other side.

Spock has been quiet as has Uhura who sits on the other side of him. Jim senses a lot of tension there and assumes they’ve been fighting during their shore leave.

It’s none of his business so he doesn’t ask.

“Have you ever been in love?” Chekov now asks loudly, drawing everyone’s attention. He raises his glass toward Sulu. “You obviously as you are vith Ben. And Mister Spock and Miss Uhura are together.”

Uhura makes a face, then looks at Spock who gives a curt nod. “Actually, Ensign, Spock and I have terminated our relationship.”

Chekov looks comically shocked. “You have?”

“Very recently,” she said coolly.

Jim clears his throat. “Chekov—”

“Vhat about you doctor?”

“I was married, remember?” Bones is snappish but that doesn’t seem to bother the young ensign who nods enthusiastically.

And the Chekov does the thing Jim’s been dreading and turns his big eyes on Jim.

“Vhat about you, Keptin?”

“I think it’s probably time to return to the ship,” Jim says, trying not to sound too harsh. But he sure as hell doesn’t want to get into that.

“But, the question?”

“I’m sorta interested in that myself,” Scotty piped in.

Jim sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose, and opens his mouth once more in an attempt to avoid the question. He’s aware everyone’s looking at him.

“Sure,” he says, finally. “And unrequited love sucks.”

“Unrequited?” Chekov repeats. “Vho doesn’t love you, Keptin?”

He rolls his eyes. “I’ve lost count, Mister Chekov. It’s time to go back to the ship. Shore leave is over.”

Everyone starts getting up, packing up their belongings they had with them on shore leave, souvenirs that sort of thing.  

Spock spots a stuffed dragon Jim has in his luggage.


“Oh.” Jim grins. “My brother gave that to me yesterday. When we were kids we used to pretend we were dragons. Kind of a family joke. He saw this at a store and bought it for me.”

Bones frowns. “You saw Sam?”

“Uh-huh. And Aurelan and Peter. Spent the last three days together.”

“You didn’t tell me you were seeing your family.”

Jim shrugs and exits the bar with Bones and Spock trailing behind him.

As he approaches his quarters, Spock falls in step beside him as he often does. He can feel Spock’s glances.

“Something on your mind, Spock?”

“If you do not mind. There is a personal matter I would like to discuss.”

“Sure, come in.”

And Spock follows him into his quarters.   

Jim hopes he’s not about to say he wants to leave or transfer because of the end of his relationship with Uhura. How many times had they broken up anyway? She always managed to reel him back in. And maybe that was an unfair assessment but Jim doesn’t care. He’s tired and cranky and sorry he had to return to duty. He misses his family that he left behind mere hours ago and that’s weird as he never thought he would.

He turns to face Spock with an encouraging smile.

“What’s up?”

Spock exhales. “If I may be so bold, your love…it is not.”



Jim feels himself lose color. “How did you…?”

“I am a telepath.” Spock steps forward and hold up his hand toward Jim’s.

After a moment, Jim raises his and they touch, palm to palm, fingers to fingers. And suddenly Jim doesn’t miss his family as much. He smiles and Spock…smiles back.   

Last Call

There I put the whole thing on AO3

Last Call

Flash Fic, August 20, 2021


“Last call.”

Spock looked around for his husband, but didn’t immediately see him.

He was then approached by the bartender, Max.  “I guess you’re looking for Jim.”


He used his thumb to gesture to the back booth. “Over there. He’s pretty out of it.”

Spock nodded. “My thanks.”

He made his way to the dark booth in the back and found Jim slumped over the table. Next to him was several empty glasses.


He had to say it several times before Jim slowly raised his head to look at Spock. His eyes were bloodshot and dazed.


“Me, your husband.”

“Hello husband.”

“I thought you would have returned home before now.”

“Was mad.”

“I realize. Are you capable of standing?”

“Uh. Think so.”

Spock helped him out of the booth, and held him up with an arm around him. He reeked of far too much booze.

“You need a shower and to be put to bed.”

“You can’t bed me until you polygize.”

“I am not trying to bed you,” Spock said. “Come.”

He was able to get Jim out of the bar, and to the farmhouse without much trouble. Then up the stairs and into the shower.

After he washed his husband and made him brush his teeth, somewhat successfully, he  steered him to their bed.

Lying on his back, Jim stared up at him, eyes a little dewy. “Still mad at me?”

“I am not.”

“Good. Not mad at you either.”

“That is pleasing to hear. I am sorry you found it necessary to overindulge.”

“Stupid, I know. I feel gross.”

“Go to sleep, ashaya. You will feel better in the morning.”

“I love you.”

“I love you also.”

“Spock, what will we do with…”

Spock shook his head, put his hand on Jim’s face, and whispered, “We will figure it out as we always have. Sleep now, Jim. You have nothing to fear.”

When Jim closed his eyes, he turned away and left their bedroom. He went downstairs and once more picked up the PADD with the message that had started it all.

I am pregnant with your child    

Flash Fic, August 18, 2021

Jim comes out of the study hall closet first, looking carefully first to make sure no one else is around. He sees no one so slips out and away out of the classroom entirely.

Eventually he sees a group of cadets he knows walking the campus and he saddles up beside them and joins the conversation as though he’s been there the whole time.

No one calls him on it.

It isn’t until later when he’s meeting Sulu and Bones for hamburgers at Moe’s Deli that Sulu gestures to his neck.

“Someone’s marked you.”

“What?” Jim laughs. “No way.”

“Yep.” Bones hands him a mirror and Jim almost stops to ask him why he’s got a mirror, but instead he shrugs and holds it up to his neck. After a few awkward attempts to see, he finally notices the suck marks there.

“Er, okay.”

“Who are you seeing now?” Bones asks.

“No one.”

Sulu snorts. “No one gave you a hickey.”

“Those are big teeth, I might add,” Bones does, in fact, add. “As long as it’s not—”

“It isn’t.”

Sulu frowns. “Who? As long as it isn’t who?”

“Jim has a long history of picking really awful people to be his lovers.”

“Ruth wasn’t awful,” Jim protests.

“About the only one who was definitely too good for you. I’d give you a list of his bad choices, but I do have a life of my own to live.”

“Instead of nosing into other people’s, yeah.’

Bones smirks. “I do that as a side hobby.   

“Keep it far to the side if you don’t mind.”

“Hmm,” Bones says, contemplatively. “Last I knew you were seeing that little Caitian named Sofie, but those don’t look like her tiny teeth.”

Jim rolls his eyes. “She’s history and I never slept with her. I was just getting her study notes.”

“Study notes.”

“I like to do well in class, you know that.”

Sulu shakes his head. “If that’s the case, you might as well move right to the instructor.’’

Jim looks away, quickly, suddenly sure he is blushing. God he has a big mouth and he usually uses it for better things that sticking his foot in it.

“Yeah.” Bones gazes him suspiciously.

“Anyway, I definitely have two or three classes to get to right now.”

“It’s seven o’clock. You aren’t signed up for night classes,” Bones points out.

Jim rises anyway. “Extra credit. Uh, logic.”

Bones’ stare is harder now. “Logic?”

“Logical philosophy.”

“Oh for Pete’s sake, you don’t mean—”

“I don’t, no,” Jim says quickly. “Mind your own business, Bones.”

“Idiot,” Bones mutters as Jim runs from their table.

He can hear Sulu.

“Who? Who is he seeing?” Jim exits and head up the street. To his, uh, logic course.  

Flash Fic, August 16, 2021

This takes place directly after the events of The Wrath of Khan and before The Search for Spock

Leonard knew it was time to go check on Jim. He’d tried to give him some time. Spock’s funeral service had been pretty rough on him and even though he’d acted as though he might be all right on the bridge after, Leonard was not fooled.

“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done, it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”

Those words notwithstanding, Leonard knew his friend and he was hurting.


When Leonard stepped into Jim’s quarters, his friend stood near to the observation window he had in his quarters. He was looking out, though Leonard wasn’t sure exactly what Jim saw.

“It’s just me,” he said, softly.

He saw the slight curve of Jim’s lips. “Hi, Bones.”

Leonard looked toward the small bar in the quarters where he spotted the decanter of brandy Jim kept there. He walked over to it and poured two glasses, approaching and handing one to Jim.

“You okay?”

Jim looked into the glass. “What do you think?” He downed it in one swallow.

About what Leonard guessed.

“Jim, don’t take this question the wrong way, but, just what was between you and Spock?”

Jim flicked a glance at him. “He’s my friend.” Paused. “Was.”

“I know that. But…was there more?”


Leonard took a sip of his own brandy. “You two were closer than most friends, closer than most brothers.”

“Sam and I hadn’t been close for years before his death,” Jim said, musingly. He shook his head. “And I haven’t kept in touch with my nephew. I really am an asshole sometimes.”

“But you and Spock—”

“What are you trying to say here, Bones?”

“Were you in love with Spock?”

“In love.” Jim shook his head. “What does that mean? I loved him. I don’t know how to go on without him, Bones. He’s been the better part of my life for years and…now he’s gone. I’d do anything to have him back. Give up anything. But I can’t raise the dead. Spock’s gone.”

“So, did you have romantic feelings for him?” Leonard persisted.

“Maybe. I honestly never sat down and analyzed things. I know that when we parted after the mission and he went for Kolinahr, I thought my heart would break.”

“Well, then.”

“That’s nothing compared to now. I’d give anything for him to be back on Vulcan, having gone through Kolinahr and never looked back.”

“I’m sorry, Jim. And I’m sorry I brought all this up. I guess…I just needed to know.” Leonard put the empty glass down. “I’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts myself lately.”

And it was true. Sometimes Leonard felt as though there were someone else’s thoughts in his head. Strange.

Jim smiled faintly. “It’s okay, Bones. But if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone.”

“All right. Let me know if you need anything.”

Leonard left and returned to his own quarters, still feeling as though he was missing some piece of information.

Flash Fic, August 13, 2021

Jim stopped his hover car in front of the farmhouse. For a moment, he just sat there. It wasn’t as though he was afraid to get out or anything. Or even actually afraid of his husband. He wasn’t. That would be categorially stupid. Spock wouldn’t hurt him for anything. Excepting of course that incident long ago before they really even knew each other.

He pursed his lips and opened the door. Because yeah, he was no coward. Even if he was about to be lectured.

Vulcan disapproval was sharper than any other.

Speaking of, his wonderful husband had just opened the front door to peer out at him as he went to the trunk of the hover car to get his purchases.   

“What did you get?” Spock asks, as he steps off the steps toward the car. He knows Spock will offer to carry everything.

“Oh, uh. You know this and that.”

“This and…that?”

His shoulders slumping slightly, Jim smiled. “Groceries, of course.”

Spock looks at Jim and then into the trunk. “And?”

He shifts. “They, uh, they had their autumn stuff out already at the store.”

When he was a kid they hardy ever got to decorate anything, and sure he’s overcompensating. He knows.

Spock’s glance moves back to Jim’s face. “You already have a lot of fall decorations, Jim.”

“I know, I agree.” His face is flushed red. He knows it is. And some of it is shame and that doesn’t feel good. “They had this pumpkin garden stake with a crow on it and I, uh, I really liked it. So I got it.”

He lifts it out of the trunk to show it to Spock, who is, of course, unimpressed.

“You have ten pumpkin garden stakes.”

Jim nodded.

“Five scarecrow garden stakes. Several Halloween garden stakes. Even a couple with leaves and turkeys.”

Jim looks away. He thinks about how he’s probably going to have to take this garden stake back. Because Spock isn’t wrong.

Suddenly Spock’s hand, gentle as can be, touches his jaw, and bids him look. “One more garden stake is perfect. I know just the spot we can put it.”

He blinked for a few seconds, and then warmth infuses him. “Yeah?” He is nearly breathless.

“I love you.”

“As much as you love fall?”

Jim laughed. “Yeah. Maybe a little more.”

Flash Fic, August 11, 2021

Spock has been keeping a secret. He is not comfortable with it, but he finds it necessary.

He is in love with his captain.

In reality, he has had this secret for a long time. He first came to the realization that he felt love for his captain as he witnessed his death in the warp core.

Even after this realization, and the relief that Jim’s demise was temporary, Spock chose to continue his relationship with Nyota. He cared for her. It was not the same devotional love he felt toward Kirk, but he knew that was a lost cause, so it seemed there was no harm in continuing to see Nyota.

When it became more troublesome to continue to watch his captain pursue others, Spock sought solace in the idea of doing his duty and resigning from Starfleet for New Vulcan.

He advised Nyota of his plans and their relationship ended.

And then Krall and Altamid happened.

For a while, Spock allowed his relationship with Nyota to resume, given that was what she seemed to wish, but the distance between them grew, they both felt it, and finally she came to him and asked to remain friends only.

Spock had been relieved. He hadn’t wished to lose her, he just didn’t care for her the way she deserved, and they both knew it.

Spock continued to keep his secret, while keeping a watchful eye on his beloved.

He was pretty sure he hid it well, until one day, after Jim was injured yet again in a mission, and he kept a close eye on his recovery, McCoy came to stand beside him as they studied their unconscious captain.

“You should tell him.”


McCoy sighed. “Spock, stop hiding behind your Vulcanness and tell him how you feel.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Sure. Only the longer you wait, the more chance he’ll give up entirely and find someone else. It’s already been close. If you don’t act, Spock, well…it’s your funeral.”

“My funeral?”

“An expression.”

“A perplexing one.”

“Just…do it. Even if it’s while he’s sleeping. Get it off your chest.” McCoy sighed. Pinched his nose. “Another expression. I gotta go check something.”

And McCoy walked away.

Spock had no idea why he let McCoy talk him into this, but he walked over to Jim’s biobed. Stared down at his unconscious form.

“I am in love with you,” he said, softly, pushing a lock of hair off Kirk’s forehead.

He turned and left.

After Jim was released to go to his quarters for further recovery, he called Spock to see him.

He smiled when Spock arrived.

“Hey. You want to play chess or something?”

Spock agreed. It seemed as though his secret still belonged to him.

They were in the middle of the match, when Jim leaned back.

“When were you going to tell me?”


“You know what.”

“No, I am afraid I do not.”

Jim sighed heavily. “I wasn’t asleep.”

Spock blinked, stared. “I see.”

“And for the record, I’m in love with you, too.”

A better outcome than Spock had ever expected.

Much later, when they were lying in bed beside each other, having done quite a bit of exploration, Jim turned to him, put his hand on Spock’s face.

“So. When were you going to tell me?”

“When it became relevant.” Spock paused. Smiled slightly. “As it just did.”

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