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  • Ramblings of the Week October 10

    I’ve been writing. Sort of. I wrote two little parts of Young and Beautiful. Which I posted. And I started the next chapter of My Devotion and the One-Shot Collection 5 but I didn’t get very far on either. I didn’t post anything this past weekend on AO3 and I am not sure I will have anything to post today. I’m sort of…I don’t know. Blah.

    I want to delete my account sometimes as you know. Just make it go away and never post another word. Another story on there. I haven’t and I am not sure I will. Because that’s happened to me on there and I know it sucks. I’ve been that reader that goes…oh no…

    Sometimes it’s not enough though.

    I don’t kid myself that someone else won’t come around to fill the gap I would leave. New writers of the Star Trek reboot movies come along all the time. The whole Spock/Bones thing seems to be catching on way too much since Beyond but whatever. I lament the lack of Kirk/Spock fics on there but alas that’s the way it is.

    And I refuse to ever return to the K/S Archive.

    Anyway, if I ever did delete, the fandom would go on. Springing up new life all the time and new fans. And some of them are really good, so I don’t think I’d be missed for long, really. There are those I adored to read who don’t publish anymore, so it happens.

    I do have people tell me I am their favorite and that’s lovely, really. I had a reader make such a comment today. And I guess that’s why I still haven’t deleted my account there. But I can’t say the thought doesn’t occur to me still, because it does.

    What’s the gist of this? I don’t know. This is called rambling for a reason.

    My current desktop background.

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  • Plans

    Today during my writing time I feel I need to return to my Old Married Spirk story. I plan to upload it fairly soon in November, maybe even the first because as most of you know, that’s how I roll. I can hardly wait to post stuff once I write it. This story is so full of fluffiness it’s unreal! HA. There’s probably a reason I don’t regularly write TOS.

    Also writing on OMS will prevent me from posting on AO3 today which I definitely need a break from.

    I seriously need to conclude something though because Christmas is coming and so is THE WINTER STORY. I need less works in progress. Somebody stop me!

    I was posting chapters of Where My Demons Hide on here but I think it might be a bit too graphic for wordpress, so if you are out there and were reading it on wordpress, here’s the link for it on AO3/WMDH so it can be read there.

    I may at times post some sort of fluffiness here. Maybe even some Kirk/Spock Prime. Those tend to get porny though so we will see.

    In other news, I saw yesterday that Chris adopted a dog. Made me love him even more though I admit to being somewhat surprised since he seemed to indicate before not a lot of time to take care of a pet since he is away so much. But maybe he has enough free time he thought he could do it right now. Anyway the dog and Chris are both cuties.

  • Ramblings of the Week Oct 03

    Yep this is going to a weekly thing for however long I do this blog. I’ve been known to delete it before.

    We are on a heightened Earthquake alert here. Through Tuesday there is a higher chance we will be felled with a major giant earthquake. I guess we get these “alerts” once or twice a year though I confess this is the first time I remember getting one.

    Went to the Science Center Sunday and saw the space shuttle Endeavor as well as an IMAX movie on the 100th anniversary of the National Parks. Next year I am going to Yellowstone so it was kind of interesting.

    I’ve discovered that I have a major letdown issue. As most of you know who read my work on AO3, I put a lot of heart and soul into that work.that goes on there and so when people decide just not to comment on it anymore it’s a huge disappointment for me. I get those that never leave comments. Comments are awesome and it makes a writer feel super good when they get them and eager to write more. But if you don’t ever comment, you don’t comment. But it’s those who only comment sometimes that I find the hardest to take. Because you end up thinking you did something wrong because they liked other chapters but all of a sudden they don’t like your latest chapters. It’s disheartening.

    I also have a jealousy issue. I see people gushing and commenting and kudoing on other fics while ignoring mine or whatever. And I feel bad. I admit it. It’s probably wrong but there you have it. I have never ever been popular. Ever. And I think it comes from that.

    Oh, well. It is what it is. And it bothers me sometimes more than other times.

    So I guess those are my rambling for this week. Hope everyone has a good one.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • PAIRS

    So I saw this on tumblr and decided to put a post on here with my thoughts on it.

    OTP – Obvious isn’t it? Kirk/Spock

    Favorite canon pairing: I think this is supposed to be an “actual’ pairing in fandom, not a created one, so if that’s the case I’d go with Arwen/Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings trilogy. But if that isn’t what it means, I say Kirk/Spock again.

    Worst Pairing Ever: Spock/Uhura, duh, just so wrong,  although for me a close second is Spock/Bones

    Guilty Pleasure Pairing: Kirk/Spock Prime

    A Pairing I want to see more of: Always Kirk/Spock, to me there aren’t enough

    That pair that everyone likes but you’re like “no, lol”: Kirk/McCoy

    Favorite Non-Romantic Pair: Kirk/McCoy

     

     

  • My Own Favorites

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    Chris Pine plays Kirk in Star Trek Beyond from Paramount Pictures, Skydance, Bad Robot, Sneaky Shark and Perfect Storm Entertainment

    We all have our favorites of work we’ve written. Or maybe that’s just me, but I don’t think so.

    I was talking to my dear bff Kris about this and she shared with me her favorites of mine. I started talking about it because I was mentioning a particular story of mine that is popular and the reason why always eludes me. I don’t hate the story but it’s not in my top 5 of what I’ve written. Maybe not even top 10. Yet it has the most Kudos of any story I have out there.

    So here is my list of my own favorites in no particular order and I am keeping it at 5

    Not in Love

    Not an Ordinary Life

    Somewhere Else

    In Another Life

    A Spirky Christmas Carol

     

    It was hard for me to choose A Spirky Christmas Carol over Going Boldly because I adore my longest fic, but A Christmas Carol is my all time favorite story and the tale told from Spock’s angle/POV is particularly poignant for me.

    So there you have it, my top 5 COMPLETED works. I have a few favorites in the new stuff.

     

  • It’s Me, Again

    This is my contemplative face

    contemplative

    Okay really it’s his, but it works for me.

    I’m feeling much the same way he probably is in this shot.

    Due to the success of Professor Spock I had decided to write a sequel, Runaway Groom. I thought given the themes of the first story where Jim was uncertain about bonding with Spock, who made his initial disdain for Human Jim very clear, that the sequel would be well received. I didn’t expect it to be be as popular. It’s rare that sequels ever are. But I didn’t expect the crash and burn I got either. I guess the so-called “sequel fatigue” isn’t just for movies.

    The truth is, I should have kept it short and sweet. Maybe a one-shot where Spock found Jim quickly and ta-da the end. But I got it in my head that it had to be complicated and I ended up introducing Leonard McCoy Prime and really it just went down from there. I’m not surprised no one cares about it because I don’t even care about it. At this point all I want to do is delete it and call it a failed experiment.

    I had plans that they would go to the Nexus and Jim would meet his father there and want to stay and for Spock Jim would be fully bonded with him and not have any doubts and so he’d want to stay. And they’d have to fight to get back to their real lives.

    Only I just don’t give a rat’s ass anymore. I really don’t.

    And so I want to just make it go away and pretend it never happened.

    My contemplative face is do I really just delete it without comment? That’s what I want to do. It’s just not working for me or for readers. I am sure there will be some readers who will be “Oh I liked that story” but for the most part I don’t really believe it will be missed.

    So there you have it.

  • Winter is On My Mind

    My mind is on THE WINTER STORY. Pretty Ironic considering I am currently about a mile from the sun.

    It involves a bit of time travel for Spock who will have to meet an ancestor of Jim. I don’t want to get into too many details of the plot at this point but I think I can say that much.

    Anyway, since my mind is on that story I have some pictures to share that inspire me.

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    And this one doesn’t really have anything to do with the story, it’s just one of the few bearded pictures of CP I like, lol.

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  • Ramblings of the Week 09/26

    I admit I saw this gif on tumblr and couldn’t resist adding it to my site. It’s pretty cool.

    So I spent the last three days wining and dining in San Diego. It was beastly hot this weekend even though it is fall and I cannot wait for at least reasonable weather. I think it’s supposed to be reasonable beginning in October. I hope so!

    I need to continue working on my old married Spirk story so I can have it ready for November. And I have told myself I will not begin writing THE WINTER STORY (notice all the caps there, which is what it’s known as until a title occurs) until the old married spirk story is finished.

    I am also hoping to get some closure on a couple of other stories soon. I have too many WIPs going and soon I will want to write holiday stories. Anyway those are today’s and this week’s ramblings!

  • Where My Demons Hide, Chapter 5

    It was hot here. Insufferably so, really. And Jim had another moment where he wondered if agreeing to a month long visit to New Vulcan had been wise. Because, certainly, it was not the first one.

    He’d been there two weeks already and had two more to go until he could escape to somewhere cooler. He tugged at the collar of his shirt. He had never sweated so much.

    From his research, Vulcan had actually been hotter than New Vulcan. Jim had never made it there before it got destroyed so he only had accounts from those like Sarek and Spock to tell him.

    And that was unbearably sad anyway, wasn’t it? A whole planet gone. And six billion Vulcans with it. It was still something he would never get used to. Through Ambassador Spock he had felt the crushing grief of its loss. Sometimes it haunted him even still. Jim could only be grateful Spock had been on the Enterprise and had survived. He hated to think if that had not been the case. But he had Spock. So he didn’t have to add that to all that fucked him up inside.

    He stepped to the edge of a rock formation and looked down into what looked like a crater likely caused by some ancient meteor crash or something. He wiped his arm across his forehead.

    It was a big drop, no doubt about it. If he fell down there he wouldn’t get up again. He took another step forward. Heard the pebbles falling down the hill from where he stepped.

    “Jim, you are too close to the edge of the cliff,” Spock spoke up from about three hundred feet away.

    “Nah, I’m fine.”

    A weird bird gave a cry from up above and Jim tilted his head back to gaze up at it. At least he guessed it was a bird. Birdlike anyway. It was no eagle or hawk but it certainly had a giant wingspan. Sort of looked like old drawings of dinosaur birds from really ancient Earth.

    “You are too close,” Spock said again. “Please step back.”

    Jim looked away from the bird and back down below the cliff. It was filled with red and brown rocks and boulders, like the rest of the planet. It had been chosen due to its similarities with Vulcan. Spock had explained all that. There were even a few native plants down below. Flowers. None of them were roses. Black roses.

    Another step forward and suddenly the ground beneath him seemed to give way.

    A hand encircled his upper arm and yanked him away from the edge with extreme force. He fell to the ground and looked up at Spock, who was glaring at him. And really glaring. Not just Vulcan glaring.

    “I told you that you were too close to the edge.”

    Jim laughed and shook his head, scrambling to his feet. “I was fine.”

    “You were about to fall,” Spock pointed out in a clipped voice.

    “I was not,” Jim insisted. He brushed at the dirt on his legs and shorts. “And anyway, if I fell, then whatever.”

    Spock sucked in a breath and then stared wide-eyed at him.

    Jim shrugged. “I wouldn’t have anyway. Don’t take everything so serious.”

    “My mother fell from a cliff to her death when we tried to transport her aboard the Enterprise,” Spock said softly. “You will forgive me if I take the matter quite seriously.”

    “Oh.” Shit. Jim, you’re such a moron sometimes. “I didn’t think about that. I’m sorry, Spock. I really am.” He grabbed Spock by his biceps and ran his hands up and down Spock’s arms. “You forgive me?”

    “Of course. Just be careful around cliffs.”

    “I will.” Jim said. “I promise.” He moved his hand up to cup Spock’s jaw. Kissed the corner of Spock’s mouth. He laughed when Spock pulled away. “There’s no one around here, Spock. No Vulcans to scandalize with my improper behavior.”

    “You need another shot.”

    “Talk about a non sequitur.”

    “Your color is high and you are sweating profusely,” Spock pointed out. “Dr. McCoy will not be pleased if I allow you to collapse.”

    Jim snorted and turned away to dig into his backpack. “You don’t allow me to do anything. No one is in charge of me but me.” He removed one of the hypos. “And I’m pretty sure that this isn’t going to make me any cooler. Jesus, Spock. It’s fucking hot here.”

    Spock quirked a brow and took the hypo from Jim and injected it into his shoulder. “I find the temperature comfortable.”

    “I know. Your favorite place on Earth is Death Valley.” Jim leaned over and panted. “I think I’ve lost twenty-five pounds just from sweating.”

    “We can return to the house if you wish. It is likely time to feed you anyway.”

    Jim rubbed his stomach. “It’s past time. I’m really hungry.”

    Spock nodded. “We will return to our explorations tomorrow.”

    “Can we get an earlier start? Maybe it will be just a slight bit cooler.”

    “As you wish, Jim.”

    Jim followed Spock as they hiked back the way they came. He took a canteen out of his backpack and took a drink. It wasn’t cold at all anymore. And he was half tempted to pour it over his head.

    He hadn’t realized how far they’d actually come until they kept walking and walking. They’d been walking back at least an hour before he spotted Sarek’s house in the distance.

    “You are all right, Captain?” Spock asked.

    “Well. If you can call being physically exhausted, dirty, sweaty, smelly and hungry as a bear all right, then yes.”

    “It is only a little farther now.”

    “I’m pretty sure you told me that half an hour ago.”

    When they finally reached Sarek’s house, Spock stopped him before they entered.

    “I apologize that you are having a miserable time.”

    Jim smiled. “I’m not having a miserable time, Spock. I’m with you, okay? It’s-it’s not exactly where I’d choose to take a vacation, it’s true.”

    “Where would you choose?”

    “Right now? A fucking igloo. With a blizzard.” Jim grinned and touched his fingers to Spock’s. “Now can we go inside where it’s at least a little cooler? I need a shower.”

    They entered the house and Jim heaved a sigh of relief.

    “I’m going to get that shower. And whatever we have to eat, please tell me it’s not soup.”

    Jim laughed at the look Spock gave him and then headed down the hall to the room they’d been given. He stripped out of his shirt and shorts and went into the bathroom. He turned the water to cool.

    “Sonic Schmonic,” he muttered and got under the spray of deliciousness. He closed his eyes and slid his hand down to his cock.

    ****

    “Better?” Spock asked when Jim emerged a while later dressed in a tank top and shorts. He left his feet bare. Both Spock and Sarek were dressed in Vulcan robes.

    Weirdos.

    “Much. Hello, sir,” Jim greeted Sarek with a smile.

    “Sarek, Jim. Remember? There is no need for such formality,” Sarek reminded Jim.

    “What are we having?”

    “Plomeek soup,” Sarek said, his expression blank.

    “What?” Jim sked.

    Sarek’s lips twitched. “That is what Spock and I will have. We have a refreshing salad of greens, tomatoes, and cucumbers for you.”

    Jim grinned. “Thank God. Wait. Vulcan cucumbers or Terran ones?”

    “Terran. I am aware of your distaste for the ones from here,” Sarek assured him. “You have made it quite obvious.”

    Jim felt himself sort of blush but it was probably true. He had something of a big mouth when it came to what he liked to eat and did not like to eat. He smiled when Spock handed him iced tea just as his PADD beeped that he had a message.

    He went to where he’d left it by the sofa in the living room.

    He picked it up and read.

    Hello Darling. I’ll be seeing you…soon.