It’s no secret I look for pictures for inspiration. In fact I just figured out the plot for my Winter story thanks to the pictures I found of Chris and Zach in winter stuff.
I like to imagine this is Jim and his mother. After all she played his mom in People Like Us.
So when you read stories where I write Winona and Jim, I see her more as this then the chick who is now in Once Upon a Time.
I may, on occasion, post something here exclusively or at least here first. We shall see.
I am trying to find a picture of Chris to go with my wintery Zach picture for my Winter Spirk story. This is harder, of course, since Chris is a Californian.
The closest I could come to is one where he’s in The Finest Hours
“Jim?” Spock’s voice had an urgency to it that thrilled Jim.
“Yes, do it.”
Long, elegant fingers pushed inside him, slick with lubricant. He buried his face in the pillow on the bed, biting it when Spock bit him, sharp teeth sinking into that fleshy part just below the back of his neck.
Fingers withdrew and Spock rose above him, pushing inside with a long drawn out groan.
Jim gripped the sheets, digging his fingers into the mattress as Spock fucked him hard and deep. The pleasure was there. His hard, sensitive cock pressed helplessly against the bed, the friction almost maddening in its intensity. The slide of Spock’s cock against his prostate. He was so close even without hand stimulation. Jim closed his eyes.
Spock groaned and stiffened above him, emptying inside Jim, even as the tips of his finger pressed into the skin of Jim’s hips. Spock rode out his orgasm, pumping over and over into Jim.
And then Spock collapsed. His weight on Jim almost crushing the breath from him.
Jim sighed as Spock withdrew from him. With a shake of his head, he sat up in the bed, rubbing his hand over his forehead and hair.
Spock sat up also. “Jim, if you will lie back down I will—”
“I’m good.” Jim smiled and patted Spock’s bare thigh. “I gotta go to the bathroom though. Be back.”
“Jim—”
Jim was already standing. He frowned down at Spock. “What?”
Spock hesitated and then shook his head. “There is nothing.”
Jim smiled again and headed to his bathroom, picking up his discarded clothes as he went. Once inside he closed the door and engaged the lock as he willed his erection to go away.
You’re nothing. Just a vessel. You just lie there and take it like the bitch you are. That’s right, you’re here to pleasure me. You get nothing. Nothing. You’re my toy, my plaything.
Jim sucked in a breath and blocked out the voice.
For a while it was almost impossible. And then it got easier. Almost effortless.
Then when he spoke to his mom the other day—
Well…they released him.
He probably won’t bother you.
“Jim?”
Spock from directly outside the bathroom door.
“Are you unwell?”
“No. Coming out now.” Jim scrambled into his clothes, splashed water on his face, and came out of the bathroom with a smile.
Spock had pulled on the sleeping robe he’d worn the prior night when he had slept over in Jim’s apartment. Good. That meant he was staying. Jim didn’t want to be alone. He hated sleeping alone. Did it all the time. Still hated it.
“Time for sleep?”
Spock inclined his head but Jim saw the hesitation again, the doubt, and Jim tried very hard not to give into the panic. Was Spock already regretting them?
Jim walked past him to the bed and pulled back the covers. He looked over his shoulder at Spock, afraid of what he’d see there. But Spock just looked like Spock as he approached the bed and got in next to Jim.
It was Spock who ordered the lights off as Jim snuggled up to him.
****
“The Enterprise will be ready one month earlier than originally anticipated.”
Jim looked up from his PADD at Spock who had just emerged from the bedroom, showered and dressed in black slacks and a gray sweater. He held his own PADD in his hands.
“I was just reading that myself.” Jim reached for his coffee. “I made you tea.”
“Thank you, Jim.” Spock walked over to him and touched his fingers to Jim’s.
Jim smiled. “There’s cranberry orange scones, too.”
Spock picked one off the plate. “You purchased these, Captain?”
He laughed. “No. I made them.”
“I was unaware you baked.”
“I’m full of surprises, Mr. Spock.”
“Indeed.” Spock took his tea and scones and sat down beside Jim. “What are your plans for the day?”
“Since we leave for New Vulcan tomorrow, I need to meet with the admiralty. I’m afraid it’s going to last most of the day.”
Spock nodded. “Nyota has returned from visiting her family and has asked to meet me for lunch.”
“So things are okay still between you two?”
“It appears so.”
Jim’s PADD beeped there was a message. He looked down at it. His heart froze in his chest. For a moment all he could do was stare.
“Jim?”
“Um. I better get ready.” He stood up abruptly, knocking the chair over. “Sorry.” He picked up the chair and then his PADD, but it slipped from his nerveless fingers to the floor.
Spock picked it up, glancing at the screen. “What is this?”
“A rose. It’s nothing. Thanks.” Jim took the PADD, smiled at Spock, before leaning down to kiss him softly on the lips. “See you later?”
“Yes, Jim. I will be here when you return from your meetings.”
Jim headed for the door. “Lock up, will you?”
“I will.”
“Most secure code, okay?”
“As you wish.”
“Can’t be too careful. Been some robberies in this neighborhood.” This time Spock didn’t reply, so Jim slipped out the door and made his way to HQ.
****
“How are things between you and the captain?”
“I am uncertain,” Spock admitted, placing his menu down on the table.
“Uncertain? What’s wrong? You seemed happy when you first got together.”
“Jim is…not what I expected.”
Nyota picked up her coke and sipped it through the straw. “I don’t understand.”
“I do not either. He is holding himself back.”
“Well, that doesn’t totally surprise me. From what I know from Leonard, he hasn’t really done a relationship before. Maybe he doesn’t know how to act?”
“Perhaps,” Spock acknowledged, “I am left always believing I am doing something wrong. It is unsettling.”
“You could talk to him?”
Spock nodded. “I suspect I will have to.”
“You’re not regretting anything, are you?”
“My own feelings? Negative. My regret is that I seem unable to be what it is he wants or needs me to be.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing, Spock.” She put her hand on his. “He’s always been a little closed off. Just try opening him a little more. New Vulcan might be just the place to try.”
Spock agreed as the waiter came to take their order.
“You two had sex.”
“What?” Jim laughed. “You’re crazy, Bones.” God, he hoped he wasn’t blushing. He didn’t dare even glance at Spock. He just chose the seat directly across from Bones and sat down, noting out of the corner of his eye that Spock sat to Jim’s right.
“I may be crazy,” Bones allowed. “But you two still had sex.”
“No, we didn’t,” Jim insisted. He glanced around the relatively quiet restaurant, relieved no one seemed to be paying attention to Bones and his proclamations.
“You’re lying.” Bones was now pointedly looking at Spock. “What about Uhura?”
“Bones.”
“Nyota and I remain friends,” Spock replied from behind his menu.
Jim thought that was a pretty good idea and lifted his own in front of his face.
“You got any more of those tracking device rocks?”
“Bones, give it a damn rest,” Jim said sharply.
“Touchy tonight, aren’t we?” Bones said with a smirk. “So, anyway, what are you going to have, Jim?”
“The Beef Bourguignon.”
“Pretty good choice. The vegetarian choices begin on page three, Spock.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
Bones lowered his own menu. “Think I’m going to have the fried chicken. I decided to go see Jo in two days. You want to come with me?”
Jim set his own menu down and reached for the glass of water that was at his seat. “Actually I’ve already got plans for the next month or so.”
“Going to see your mom?”
Jim glanced at Spock who was still carefully perusing the menu. “No. Going with Spock to New Vulcan.”
“New Vulcan? You two aren’t getting secretly married or anything, are you?”
“Bones! Jesus. No. I swear to God I’m going to strangle you.”
Bones laughed. “Kidding, Jim. You really are touchy.”
“I invited the captain to New Vulcan so that he could assist me with some projects there,” Spock said, setting his menu down.
“Projects, huh?”
“Indeed. We will be there for a duration of one month. There will be no marriage ceremonies—secret or otherwise.”
“Good to know,” Bones said with a nod. “So, are you two a—”
“Bones.”
“What? I’m just asking. We’re friends. We serve together. It would be nice to know.”
“The captain and I are exploring a new aspect of our relationship.”
A waitress appeared at their table and they all ordered.
“A new aspect, huh?”
Jim sighed. ”You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“Probably not,” Bones acknowledged. “The two of you are too much fun to tease.”
Jim’s communicator beeped. He frowned down at it. “I have to take this. Be back.”
He rose from his seat and walked away from the table.
****
Spock’s gaze followed Jim as he headed out in the direction of the restaurant’s foyer. There was something very wrong. He could see it in the set of the captain’s shoulders.
The doctor was chattering on about something, his visit to his daughter, Spock thought, but he only half listened. He was sure he gave the appropriate answers.
But when Jim still had not returned after more than fifteen minutes and their food arrived, Spock stood.
“Doctor, I am going in search of the captain.”
“Yeah, he is taking a long time. You want me to come along?”
“Not at present,” Spock replied.
When he reached the restaurant’s foyer there was no sign of Jim so he went to the hostess. “Did you see my companion pass through here?”
“Yes, sir. He went out those doors.”
Spock turned and exited through the doors she had indicated and found himself on the sidewalk at the back of the restaurant. He caught sight of Jim immediately. He was leaning against a wall, his hands covering his eyes. Spock increased his pace to reach Jim faster.
“Jim?”
Jim did not react at first, so Spock reached for his wrists to pull his hands away from his eyes. They were wet and red, obviously from crying. Alarm shot through Spock.
“Jim?”
“There-s-there’s been an accident,” Jim whispered. “Chekov—” He thrust his communicator at Spock.
Spock glanced down at the communicator but there was nothing there. Just Jim’s communicator. Spock’s gaze rose.
“He didn’t make it.”
Spock sucked in a breath. For a moment Jim swam in front of him, moving out of focus. Spock closed his eyes, forced control. There was an ache in his side that had not been there a moment ago. But he opened his eyes and refocused on Jim. Jim would need him.
“I grieve with thee,” he said softly, reaching for Jim. He was not sure what to do other than to embrace Jim as Nyota had done for him during moments of grief. Jim sagged against him.
“How am I supposed to get through this, Spock?”
“Together we will, Jim.” Spock held him tighter. “Together as always.”
“I can’t go back in there.”
“You do not have to. I will go and inform the doctor. Wait here.” Spock placed a chaste kiss on Jim’s forehead and went back into the restaurant to break the news to Leonard.
****
“What can I do for you?”
“You don’t have to stay with me, Spock,” Jim said from where he stood by the window of his apartment, looking out at San Francisco.
Spock did not bother to respond for of course he did have to stay with Jim. And he had a feeling Jim knew it too.
“Coffee?”
“No. I think it would just sour in my stomach right now.” Jim pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. “He was just a kid.”
“I know.” Spock went into the kitchen and brewed some tea, because he needed to do something. He was aware he was not very good at offering humans emotional comfort. He did try, but it was not something he had ever practiced. His mother had been very strong and though there were times when he thought he saw hurt in her eyes or a slip of her mask of strength, she continued to maintain the façade in front of both her husband and son. It often occurred to Spock how difficult it must have been for her with two Vulcans to subdue her emotional side.
When he came out of the kitchen with tea he saw that Jim had begun to shake. He had his arms wrapped around himself and he was trembling. Spock set the tea down and went to him, wrapping his own arms around Jim from behind and pulling him close.
“It’s unfair,” Jim whispered. “All that we went through. All that he went through and it-it ends like this.”
Spock once heard it said that death too no prisoners and he’d always thought it an odd saying. And it offered absolutely no comfort.
“He apparently did not suffer much,” Spock said softly. “It happened quickly.”
“I’ve-I’ve lost people. Lots of people. Why is this so damn hard? Why does it hurt this much?” Jim turned in his arms and buried his wet face in Spock’s neck.
“You were close to him. You spent time with his every day for years. We were all close. It is like the loss of a family member.”
“Yeah.”
“The best thing we can do is keep him in our memories and in our hearts. Yes?”
Jim nodded against him. “You’re right.” His hand twisted in Spock’s sweater. “It’s better with you here. I know I told you that you didn’t have to stay but…will you?”
“There is nowhere else I would be,” Spock assured him. “I made tea. If you would like some.”
“That sounds good.” But when Spock went to move away, Jim’s grip on his sweater tightened so Spock stayed where he was. Where he
In November I will be posting my entry into the Old Married Spirk Challenge on AO3.
I don’t have a title yet but basically it’s married life at their farmhouse in Riverside. I am calling it Original Series for purposes of the challenge, but really I think it could be read as AOS too.
In any case, here are the OS boys
Here’s the picture of ZQ I mentioned in my first post. I don’t know exactly what I want to do but I want to write a story where Spock is in the snow. It can’t take place on the ship or San Francisco and I feel like I’ve done and am doing the Riverside thing, so it has to be somewhere else and it can’t be a young Spock (as in academy) because this is clearly a thirty something Spock. So we will see. It’s coming for sure, whatever it is.
“So, you guys are back together, huh?” Jim smiled at Spock, leaning closer to squeeze Spock’s arm.
“Captain?”
“Bones told me that you two were having issues. You and Uhura.” Jim stared down into his drink for a moment, like he could discover the wisdom of the world, but then he raised his gaze to Spock. One thing Jim refused to be was a coward. Never that. “But tonight at the party, you guys looked like you’re working things out.”
“I am…uncertain,” Spock replied softly.
“Yeah?” Jim took a long swallow. “Well, if you are back, I’m really happy for you.”
“We will always remain friends. I care a great deal about Nyota and she cares a great deal for me. Whether we can put our differences aside to repair our relationship, I do not know.”
“Was it the New Vulcan thing?”
Spock blinked rapidly and Jim could see he had surprised Spock. “You know of that, Captain?”
“Bones told me that too.”
For a moment, Spock just stared at him. Then he said softly, “I did intend to discuss it with you.”
“I’m sure. And while we’re on the subject, Spock, we should talk about something else.”
“You refer to what you wanted to discuss in the turbolift?”
Jim nodded. “Look, really, the thing is, I’ve changed my mind about it anyway, but—”
“You applied for the vice admiral position on Yorktown.”
Now it was Jim’s turn to be surprised. “You knew about that?”
“Commodore Paris mentioned you had recommended me for Captain of the Enterprise should you earn the promotion.”
“Oh.” Jim licked his lips. “Yeah. I changed my mind though.” He searched Spock’s gaze. “What about you?”
“Whatever happens with Nyota, I have decided to remain on the Enterprise,” Spock said quietly. “I believe Ambassador Spock would have approved of my decision.”
“Spock? Do you have a moment?” Uhura had walked over to where they were standing by the window. She smiled at Jim. “Sorry for the interruption, Captain.”
Jim shook his head. “I need a refill anyway. Goodnight you two.”
He walked away and didn’t look back because he couldn’t. And anyway, he did say he was going to call his mom. He bid goodbye to Scotty—he couldn’t find Bones—and he went to his temporary quarters on Yorktown. Eventually they would return to Earth while the new Enterprise was built.
His mom looked tired when she appeared on screen, but she offered him a sweet smile. “Hi, baby. I was just about to contact you.” She paused and there was only a slight catch in her voice. “Happy Birthday.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“What happened to your face? Oh, don’t answer that. I heard about what happened.”
“So many lives, Mom.”
“It’s never easy, Jim, but you’re a great leader,” his mom told him. “You were ambushed. And you saved millions of lives on Yorktown.”
Jim nodded. “How are you?”
“I’m hanging in. I miss my boys.”
“Heard from Sam?”
She shook her head. “Not in a while. You know how he is.”
“What you want doesn’t matter. You are nothing.”
“Yeah,” Jim replied. “I know what he’s like. How’s the farmhouse?”
“Lonely.”
“You hate being retired.”
“I sure do. But I’m getting used to it. Think you’ll visit me before you go out again?”
“I’ll try,” Jim said, though they both kind of knew he wouldn’t try that hard. There were always promises between them. Most of them broken.
“Hey, before you go, I have something else you might want to know. It probably won’t really affect you because you’ll be out in space and all but…well…they released him.”
Jim’s blood froze. “Released?”
She nodded, her eyes sad. “Time served.”
“There’s no time he could have served that it would make up for any of it,” he whispered hoarsely.
“I know, Jim. That’s why I thought you should know. He probably won’t bother you. God knows I threatened to cut off his balls if he ever goes anywhere close to you, but you should know.”
“Okay.” The words to thank her got stuck in his throat.
“We’ll talk soon. I love you.”
“Love you, too, Mom.”
The screen went blank.
Jim shook himself. None of that mattered. Not anymore.
****
Two months Later
Jim was already late to meet Bones for dinner. His meeting with the admiralty at Starfleet HQ had run longer than Jim had thought it would. All routine stuff about the refit on the latest edition of the Enterprise which would go out three months from now, if everything worked as it should.
Jim had been back in San Francisco for one and a half months. The crew for the most part had gone their separate ways for their time away from the Enterprise. Sulu had stayed on Yorktown with his husband and daughter. Uhura had gone to visit her family, without Spock, as Jim had learned. Jim was still unsure about the status of their relationship officially, but he had a suspicion that it had remained firmly in the friend zone after the events with Krall.
Bones had chosen to spend some time in San Francisco with Jim but he intended to catch some time with his daughter too.
Jim’s mom hadn’t brought up him coming to Riverside again since his birthday and neither had Jim.
He was just grabbing his coat when there was a light tapping at his door. Jim went to it and was a little startled to find Spock there.
“Captain, you are going out?”
“Yeah, to meet Bones for dinner. Did you want to come along?”
“If you do not mind, I would like a quick word with you.”
Jim nodded. “Okay.” He let Spock in and closed the door behind him. “What’s on your mind?”
“Jim, I am going to New Vulcan.”
“Wait, what? I thought you had decided to stay with Starfleet.”
“And I have. I do not mean permanently. I meant for a month,” Spock explained, his hands behind his back.
“Oh.” Jim allowed the knot in his stomach to loosen. “Good. I really don’t know what I would do without you, Spock.”
“I request you come with me.”
“To-to New Vulcan?”
“We would have plenty of time to attend to duties, when we return, related to the departure of the Enterprise.”
Jim didn’t know what to say. This was completely unexpected. “Uhura?”
“Nyota and I remain close friends but have ultimately decided the demise of our romantic relationship was for the best for each of us. Our affection and respect for each other remains intact.”
Well. The proper reaction was to be sympathetic, Jim knew. And yet—
“I’m sorry, Spock. I know you two were together for a while.”
“It is unfortunate. However, I realized something rather significant recently.”
“Significant?”
“While I care for Nyota a great deal, my intention was still to go to New Vulcan to continue the work of rebuilding our race as well as that of Ambassador Spock. Despite her objections and the reality I knew my decision would hurt her.”
“But you did change your mind,” Jim said, feeling a little disoriented.
“Yes. Because of you, Jim. And your need for me to be by your side. Not because of Nyota.”
Jim was aware that Spock had moved closer to him. But now it occurred to him that Spock was very close. Like in his personal space close.
He licked his lips. “It was not my intention to burden you, Spock.”
“Your reliance on me is no burden. And it is…unexpectedly…reciprocated.”
Jim’s breath caught in his throat. “I’m not sure what to say.”
“Will you accompany me to New Vulcan?”
Jim’s communicator beeped. “Hold that thought.” He flipped it open. “Bones?”
“Jim, where the hell are you?”
“Sorry, Bones. Spock is here.”
“Well, bring him with you.”
Jim met Spock’s gaze. Spock nodded. “We’ll be there shortly.” He closed his communicator. Stuck it in the pocket of his jeans. “Yes.”
“Then you will accompany me to New Vulcan for the duration of a month?”
“That’s what you want?” And hell, Spock was right. It did seem significant.
“It is, Jim.”
Spock still hadn’t moved away. In fact, he had moved closer. So close. All Jim had to do was lean in just a little and they would be kissing. Which was nuts. Wasn’t it? Spock didn’t want to kiss him.
Jim realized his hands were on Spock’s chest, smoothing over Spock’s shirt, like, well, like he had a right to touch him that way. And the weird thing was Spock wasn’t stopping him.
“Spock.”
“Yes?”
“I—that is.” Jim shook his head. “God, I’ve never felt so damn shy and awkward before. Ah, hell.”
He was about to step back and just go to have dinner with Bones. But Spock’s hand was suddenly on Jim’s waist preventing him from moving.
“You do understand what I am telling you?”
“Maybe. Yes. Will you just fucking kiss me?”
Spock arched a brow but then his lips descended on Jim’s, warm and soft, and tasting way better than they had a right to. Jim heard a sort of squeak and realized it came from him as he gripped the collar of Spock’s shirt to bring their bodies into closer contact.
He felt himself be lifted off the floor and before he could orient himself, he found he was put down on the dining room table of his apartment. Spock’s mouth was devouring his, over and over, crushing his lips, Spock’s hot tongue pushing past the seam of Jim’s lips to enter his mouth.
Jim reached for the zipper of Spock’s pants, sliding it down enough for Jim’s fingers to slip inside Spock’s boxer briefs. Spock gasped against Jim’s mouth as Jim curled his fist around the length of Spock’s cock.
“Jim!”
“Shh, I’ll take care of you. Trust me.” This Jim knew. He knew how to give pleasure. Pleasure that would blow Spock’s mind.
Spock’s hips were moving frantically as Jim worked his cock with his fist, sliding across the shaft with a perfect tight grip. Spock continued to frantically kiss Jim as he felt how close Spock was to coming.
He tore his lips from Spock’s kissing along Spock’s jaw until he reached one pointed ear. He flicked his tongue over the tip and Spock gave a keening cry as he came all over Jim’s hand.
They were both breathing hard, lips swollen, as they stared at each other wide-eyed.
“We-we’re late. To meet Bones. We gotta go.”
“Captain, what about you?” Spock’s eyes went down to the prominent bulge in Jim’s jeans.
Jim gave him a reassuring smile. “No time for that.” He kissed Spock. “Let’s just get you cleaned up and go.”
Spock’s gaze rose to Jim’s flushed face. “Very well.”
“And Spock?” He flicked his tongue at the point of Jim’s ear. Enjoyed Spock’s shiver. “I think Jim is more appropriate in this instance, isn’t?”
Spock closed his eyes as he cupped Jim’s jaw and pulled him in for another kiss. “Yes, Jim.”
I’m trying this again, a fan fiction site separate from the one I use on AO3. For now I’m not widely advertising it while I see what I do with it.
I’m posting a work in progress that takes place after Star Trek Beyond, called Where My Demons Hide.
I’ll probably post photos and stuff that inspire me. Right now I’m fixated on a picture of Zachary Quinto in the snow that I just have to use for Spock.
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 