Star Trek

And here is the sequel

Spock’s Second Chance from 2020

“What are your plans for New Year’s Eve with Jim?”

Spock does not know how to answer Leonard’s question. Jim has so far not specified any particular plans for them. Though Spock has been back in Admiral Jim Kirk’s life for a year now, a year to the day of New Year’s Eve, their relationship is not what it had been prior to Spock’s mistakes. He had hoped Jim would forgive him, but the truth was there was distance in Jim’s gaze even now.

“The Admiral has not disclosed any plans for us.”

“You didn’t plan anything? Sorta your anniversary, isn’t it?”

“Anniversary?”

“Your reconciliation.”

Spock hesitates. “I do not believe Jim feels reconciled.”

Leonard frowns. “What do you mean?”

“He holds himself back from me. A year later he still does not trust me. He believes I will leave again.”

His friend sighs. “He’s a tough egg, Spock. He was really devastated when you left. He needs time.”

“I know.”

And Spock has a lot of time. He is not sure Jim has. Jim is young for an admiral still, and yet, from the ambassador, Spock knows there is never really enough time. Not with Jim.

“I suspect we will have a quiet night at home.”

And it ends up being just that.

Jim never speaks of any celebratory plans and when Spock get to their apartment in San Francisco after his late lunch with McCoy, Jim is already there and his usual subdued self.

Subdued since their so-called reconciliation, that is.

“Hi.” Jim smiles at Spock and for the barest moment it warms Spock like it once did. The sun shines on his heart and he feels once more that Jim is his las’hark.

But the smile fades away, quickly, and Jim turns away to make himself coffee in the kitchen.

The “hi” suddenly seems less welcoming, more a greeting to a stranger than to a lover, to a husband. Spock’s side twists.

“Jim.”

He speaks the name softly almost reverently. Those blue eyes turn to him, seeking an answer Spock doesn’t know.

“Do you-do you want to go somewhere to celebrate the new year?”

Jim shakes his head. “No, let’s just stay here. Not really in the mood for crowds.”

Neither is Spock, really.

“I could make us some dinner,” Spock offers.

“I’m not really hungry at the moment. Later maybe?”

Spock begins to nod, but stops the motion as Jim has already turned away. He feels trapped in a nightmare of his own making, because, yes, Spock is aware that he had caused Jim to fall out of love with him.

He offers the only thing he can at this point.

“Jim, may we speak?”

Those eyes return to his, and there is something in that gaze that frightens Spock, but he tries not to let it. He thinks he could so easily misstep right now, and it is that that scares him.

“Okay.”

He draws Jim to a chair in the living room and has him sit. Spock thinks about standing above him, but that seems like he would be hovering and threatening in his body language and Spock does not wish to come off that way, so he drops down to his knees in front of Jim, noting the surprise there in those eyes.

Those eyes, so blue, have haunted Spock for so long.

Spock takes a breath. “Jim…”

“You’re leaving again,” Jim guesses.

And the pain of it hits Spock in the stomach like a physical blow.

“Neg…no,” Spock changes to the more simpler word at the last minute. Somehow the more intimate word, though he’s not sure why that is. “I will never leave again.”

He can tell that Jim still does not believe him. He doesn’t say, but Spock is able to read it in that closed off look he has had in his eyes for far too long.

“Even now, as I am aware that I have…lost your love…if all I am to have is your companionship, then I will accept that, and cherish it.”

Jim stares at him for so long, Spock has no idea what his response will be. Part of him fears that Jim will send him away. Spock doesn’t know what he will do if that is the case.

“You’re wrong.”

Spock does not know how to react or what he is wrong about. He remains nonplussed.

“You haven’t lost my love,” Jim clarifies. “I’ll always love you. That can’t and won’t change.”

Spock does not allow himself to feel relief. “But?”

Jim shakes his head. “I still don’t…” He stops, blows out a long breath.

“Trust me. Trust that I will not leave.”

“Yeah. I mean, you loved me before, I was your T’hy’la before. And you left anyway. People I’ve cared about have been leaving me all my life. I got used to it. But you…I thought it would be different.” Jim lowers his head, looking down at his fingers clenched in his lap. “It’s hard, Spock.”

Spock knows this. “Your heart remains cold.”

Jim sighs. It’s not a mean sigh or even resigned. It is simply a breath of air that seems somehow filled with both trepidation and promise.

His gaze is softer when he looks up at Spock. Warmer. Spock’s heartbeat quickens.

“Take me to bed.”

“Even when we are intimate, you hold back from me.” Spock isn’t sure this is the right thing to say, and yet he cannot help but say it. But there is no change in Jim’s expression. It is still warm and soft.

“I know,” Jim acknowledges. “I won’t. Not tonight. It’s-it’s been a year. Perhaps a new beginning?”

Spock will take whatever chance he can have with Jim and so they move from the living room to their bedroom.

Lovemaking is good. Very good. And as Spock moves inside Jim, it does feel different. More them. As they once were. More intimate, more feelings of love.

He lies on his back afterward, holding his sun to him, his las’hark. It feels somehow more hopeful than it has the past year, though Spock knows things are still far from perfect. He has a lot of work to do still to gain back Jim fully.

But this feels like a start.

He places his hand on Jim’s chest, over his heart. His chest feels very warm this night, warmer than he has felt in a long time, and it as though the warmth comes from within.

Spock opens their bond, hesitantly, though he does not force Jim to do the same. If Jim wishes to join Spock there he will.

Outside, fireworks go off and Spock knows midnight has come. It is a new year.

“Happy New Year, T’hy’la.”

He waits for Jim to speak those words in return, but they do not come verbally.

He feels them all over his body, through his veins, his muscles, and at last, in his mind.

Happy New Year, Spock.

Jim has joined their bond and Spock feels a tear escape.

It is the new beginning Jim mentioned.

Spock will cherish it.

December 29, 2023

From 2018

His Heart Remained Cold

I wrote this in mostly 3rd person, present, not my usual style but it seemed to work for this story.
I have chosen to make this part of the sad endings series, but it’s not exactly a sad ending, though I think the overall feel is quite…desolate.

The party goes on behind him, in the room beyond the doors that he has slipped through. He hears the scattered conversations. The laughter, the revelry.

He keeps walking until those voices and that laughter become a memory. He turns right at the end of a corridor, and walks down another, all the way to the end, and through another set of double doors and out into the night.

There is a chilly breeze as he stands at the railing of the oversized balcony. It’s the kind that steals your breath and makes your cheeks sting. What he’s wearing isn’t nearly warm enough for this kind of weather. A dress uniform only, any outer attire discarded earlier and he’s forgotten where he put it.

Midnight will arrive soon and he’ll miss it. The kisses and the exchanges of a wish for good fortune and health in the New Year.

But he will miss a lot of things. His life has changed forever. And it cannot go back to what it was, no matter how he might wish or dream.

Off in the distance, he sees fireworks and knows it is midnight even before he hears yelling and screaming from all directions around him.

He smiles to himself.

“Happy New Year.”

There is no answer, of course, for no one stands with him, and he tries not to think of that as more than literal and not as metaphorical, but it is a near thing.

For in that moment, he feels as alone as he used to feel all those years ago in Iowa, dreaming and wishing for an escape. He feels that same resentment, for a brief time, he felt toward Sam, as his brother walked away from that farm, from him. For the freedom his brother obtained that in many ways he never could.

He wonders, as he often does at reflective times like this, whatever happened to that boy who left him behind. He never got to know. Never heard from or about Sam again. Perhaps he’d experienced the ultimate freedom and they’d just never been notified. But at least he had not experienced Tarsus, and in that, he was lucky.

He shook his head, to dispel those melancholy memories that held no sway for him now. Too many years ago.

He leans his head up, to look up at the stars, at the planets. He thinks of his boyhood dreams and his dreams now, and realizes they are not that far off from each other.

Somewhere up there, he’s too lazy and too buzzed from Champagne to consider it too closely at the moment, is New Vulcan. And on New Vulcan…Spock.

“Admiral?”

He turns to face the ensign, the security guard, who has ventured out in this cold, frigid night air. Sent to locate him, no doubt.

“Yes, Ensign?”

“Doctor McCoy is looking for you, sir.”

He smiled. “Okay, I’ll go inside in a minute.”

The ensign nods to acknowledge the dismissal and hurries back where it is much warmer. He doesn’t entirely blame the guard either.

He reaches inside his pants’ pocket and pulls out the ring and small holo pic he’d brought with him. The reason, the hope, seems stupid now. He glanced down at the photo of the two of them together. But never really together. That was, as the old saying goes, a pipe dream.

The picture drifts from his fingers and off the side of the building. He thinks briefly of letting the ring go, over the railing and out of his life forever, but he can’t quite make that happen.

He is about to turn to go back inside, to reassure Bones he has not lost his senses or whatever Bones will think, when a star shoots across the sky. He’s long past wishing on a star. And yet, it gives him a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. And a longing he’s tried to suppress but failed.

Shaking his head, he turns around. Gasps.

Spock stands there, dressed in somber dark robes, his eyes somehow more dark and somber.

He doesn’t know what to say or do so he doesn’t act at all. Just stands there numb and freezing.

Somehow, he’s surprised when Spock takes the steps toward him, instead, for it always seems as though he pursues Spock, even in this small way, but here Spock takes steps to reach him and when he does, for a moment, neither of them do anything at all.

Then, “Spock”, is stolen from his lips and deposited into the air before he can stop it.

“Jim,” is the soft response.

Then his arms open wide, Spock’s, not his, and before he can stop himself from this action, either, he steps into those arms and allows them to close around him, pulling him against his former first officer in an embrace so warm it cut through the numbing cold.

“I didn’t think you were coming back,” he mumbles into the robe at Spock’s throat.

“I will not leave again.”

The hope bursts back, unbidden and unwelcome, because if Spock does leave him again, ends everything between them, as before, it will destroy him the next time. But perhaps not. Perhaps he is strong enough to withstand even this abandonment.

If that is what he is to face. It’s hard to trust anyone. Spock most of all.

“You are freezing, T’hy’la. Let me take you back inside.”

He isn’t very aware of his own movements, but somehow Spock gets him back into the building without releasing him from the warm embrace. Spock’s hand slips down his arm and to his own hand where he has curled his fingers around the ring. Spock uncurls his fingers and stares down at the ring, battered and scratched from being on his finger through too many battle injuries.

Those dark, somber eyes meet his gaze and he takes the ring from his shaking hand and slips it back on Jim’s ring finger where it once belonged. He doesn’t know if it does now.

Exhausted, he sags against Spock, who holds him almost impossibly close. The bond is open, from Spock’s side, anyway, and it feels like heaven in a way it has not for a long time.

“What changed?” he asks.

“I do not want to be alone.”

Pain stabs his chest. “To come back to me just so you don’t have to be alone—”

“No,” Spock says, quickly, urgently. “I made a mistake. I thought it would be better to reject all emotion, to…”

“Reject me.”

Spock nods. “It was…torture in a way that I had not anticipated. Jim, I will fall to my knees and subjugate myself before you if you deem it necessary.”

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. They both know he would forgive Spock anything. Always has.

It is a new year and a new chance perhaps. And perhaps, this time, he will not be disappointed. Abandoned yet again.

“T’hy’la.” There were tears in Spock’s eyes and he knows Spock has gotten his thoughts, the bond, aching and burning with pain as it is, has opened on both sides, his too.

He only wishes he knew if Spock’s tears were for him or for Spock.

He’s held closer still, warmth enveloping him, but his heart remains cold.

Fortunately I took pity on them and readers and wrote a sequel, which will appear tomorrow.

December 28, 2023

Flash Fic, December 26, 2023

“Another Christmas over,” Jim said, forlornly, as he sat on a stump in their yard next to his older brother.

It was after midnight, and they really should be in the house and in bed but they had no school so Mom had given them permission to stay up a bit late.

Jim was six and Sam nine.

“I’m glad.”

“Don’t say that Sammy.”

Sam snorted. “Now the grandparents can go home. And Mom’s new boyfriend too. I hate all those people in my house.”

“I like them,” Jim insisted. “Grandma and Grandpa anyway. I don’t like Mom’s boyfriend. Besides what if Daddy comes back?”

“I’ve already told you Dad’s not ever coming back. He died, stupid.”

“But I wished on a star!”

“Wishes don’t work. And guess what? There’s no such thing as Santa. That was Mom.”

“What? There’s no Santa?” Jim was on the verge of tears.

“The sooner you grow up the better off you’ll be. Dad’s gone. Santa doesn’t exist and Mom’s gonna marry that guy and ruin all our lives. Life isn’t fair, Jimmy. It’s just life. And you live it. And sometimes good things happen, but mostly bad things do. You just gotta accept it.”

“But—”

“And Christmas sucks.” Sammy rose from the stump he’d been on and went slamming back into the house, leaving Jim to sit by himself, now in tears.

He sat there for a while wondering why Sammy hated him. Because he must. Sammy was always mean to him, Jim thought.

He was still there when his grandpa came t sit with him on the stump beside him.

“Getting a little cold out here, isn’t it, champ?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve got some cocoa brewing right now, so when we go in you can have some before bed.”

“Grandpa?”

“Yeah?”

“Daddy really isn’t ever coming back, is he?”

“No, I’m afraid not. Your daddy passed away. But he saved a lot of people and was a hero. We’re very proud of him and you should be, too. And his spirit is always with us. All of us.”

“And Santa?”

“What about him?”

“Sam says there’s no such thing as Santa.”

His grandpa put his hand on Jim’s knee. “Sam doesn’t know everything, Jim. He only thinks he does. You believe me when I tell you Santa is real.”

Jim brightened. “It’s true?”

“You bet it is. Now let’s go in and get that cocoa, all right?”

“Okay.”

They got off their stumps and Jim took his grandpa’s hand as they went back inside the house. He felt much better. And didn’t care what Sammy said. Santa was real!

December 26, 2023

Flash Fic, December 24, 2023

There won’t be a flash tomorrow, so this counts as your Christmas Flash

“I wish Daddy was here.” Peter’s bottom lip trembled as Jim looked down at his three year old nephew. There were still tear tracks on his chubby cheeks.

“Me too, kiddo.”

In truth, Jim was on the brink of tears himself.

The last twenty-four hours had been a disaster.

Jim was currently in Riverside tasked with taking care of his three-year-old nephew while his brother Sam was on assignment for Section 31.

And Jim was waiting to see if the Enterprise would go out on a second five-year mission. If they did, would he retain the same crew, most importantly Spock. He wasn’t sure, considering Jim had confessed his romantic feelings for Spock at the end of the first mission. For the last few months of that mission, he and Spock had been engaged in a “sex for pleasure only” affair, or so they had insisted on calling it. Wasn’t supposed to involve emotion. Only for Jim, it always had.

He’d gone and cocked it up but admitting this to Spock. And Spock had left to go to New Vulcan.

So, when Sam had asked Jim about watching Peter, he had agreed.

Peter’s mom had passed after an illness.

Whatever. All of this was the lead up to the disaster of the day. There’d been a fire in the living room at the farmhouse, thanks to the Christmas tree, and though the whole house hadn’t been destroyed, the recommendation had been that they spend the next two weeks away from the farmhouse to avoid smoke inhalation and water damage. It would take that long to make everything livable.

So here it was Christmas Eve and he and Peter were about to check into a hotel in the city proper.

Jim guessed it wasn’t the worst Christmas ever. But maybe it was close. He had no gifts for the little tyke either. They’d gone up with the Christmas tree.

After getting them settled into a hotel room that included a kitchenette, Jim asked Peter, “What would you like to eat for supper?”

“Chicken nuggets! And ice cream.”

There was a twenty-four hour café attached to the hotel, so they went there. Fortunately he was able to get the chicken nuggets and ice cream for Peter.

“Will Santa find us?” Peter asked as he dipped a nugget into ketchup.

Yuck, Jim thought.

And his heart sank. What was he supposed to tell the little guy?

He had notified Bones what happened. And Bones had offered his sympathy, but he was in Georgia with his own kin so there wasn’t much he could do.

And most stores were already closed so how was he supposed to get anything for the child?

He needed a Christmas miracle.

“Well.” Jim smiled. “How’s the chicken?”

He himself had chosen meatloaf with mashed potatoes.

“Yummy.”

“Good. As far Santa…well. I think he’ll find us eventually, but it might be hard tonight or by Christmas. It might be when we go back home.”

“Okay.” But he looked so sad and forlorn that Jim’s heart just broke.

He was a terrible uncle.

After they finished eating, Jim took Peter around the area to look at Christmas lights, which did cheer both of them up considerably.

By the time he got back to the hotel, he had to carry Peter, as the boy had fallen asleep. He was surprised to see a wreath pinned to the outside of his hotel room.

Maybe something the hotel did?

He opened the door and stepped in carrying Peter. It was then he noticed the small artificial tree next to the kitchenette. It had been decorated with hundreds of white lights and little red bows. Beside it stood a very familiar Vulcan.

“Spock?”

“Merry Christmas, Jim.”

“How—”

“Leonard contacted me. It was not easy, but I made it in time.” Spock walked over to gaze upon Jim’s zonked out nephew. “Perhaps you should put him to bed before we place the presents under the tree.”

His breath caught in his throat. “You brought presents for Peter?”

“Indeed. Isn’t that expected by a child of his age for Christmas?”

Jim nodded, suddenly feeling tears sting his eyes. “Yeah. Let me put him down.”

Jim walked over to the bed and drew back the covers, setting Peter down on the bed, and covering him. He was very happy to see the boy remained sleeping. All the better to surprise him in the morning.

Jim then turned and went back to where Spock waited. The Vulcan was holding on to a Santa sack.

“I can’t believe you did all this.”

“Clearly you were in need of assistance, Captain.”

He swallowed heavily. “Yeah, I was, but…”

Spock glanced away. “In truth, I was coming to see you anyway, so it was fortunate Leonard contacted me in time to at least save some part of your holiday.”

“You were? Why?”

Spock looked at him again. “Because I find that I too had emotional involvement.”

It was Jim who arched both brows this time. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” Spock said, softly. “I apologize for it taking me this long to realize it. And I am sorry that you had a fire at your farmhouse.”

“Yeah, it sucked.” Jim stepped closer. “But this doesn’t.”

And he kissed Spock.

****

“Santa came!” Peter squealed, running toward the tree.

Jim exchanged a look with Spock. “Yes, he did.”

December 24, 2023

Flash Fic Revisit

From 2019

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

“Daddy, is that an elf?”

Jim Kirk looked to where his four-year-old son, David, pointed. They had just entered the department store in San Francisco. David had been asking to see Santa Claus.

At the moment, Jim had the care for his son as the boy’s mother and Jim’s ex, Carol Marcus, was off planet on a science expedition. Jim had readily agreed since it meant having David with him for the holidays. And now that he was on winter break from Starfleet Academy he no longer had to rely on his friends and fellow cadets to babysit.

Jim’s gaze widened as he grabbed David’s arm to keep him from rushing at the “elf”. “Er, No. That’s a…that man’s a Vulcan.”

And Jim’s current crush, Commander Spock, who had programmed the Kobayashi Maru Jim had taken and failed.

“Oh. Okay,” David replied. He looked up at Jim. “Does he know Santa?”

“Well…” Jim was about to say he doubted it, but in fact Spock was standing next to and speaking with Uhura, who was wearing a red and white Santa’s helper uniform, and Santa. Or whoever wore the Santa costume for the store. “Yeah, I guess maybe he does.”

“Take me to him,” David pleaded. “I want to ask him for what I want this year.”

He blew out a breath. He sure hoped David wasn’t going to come up with something like “my parents back together’ or anything similar. He’d met Carol back in Riverside when she’d been there on a temporary assignment for Starfleet and before he had enlisted himself. Their relationship had been brief and wrought with more drama than either of them had wanted to deal with. They made far better friends and co-parents than lovers.

But kids sometimes just couldn’t understand adult issues and wanted for things that couldn’t be theirs.

Nevertheless, his responsibility as “daddy” was to make sure David got his chance. So, Jim took his son’s hand and walked over to where they stood talking. He didn’t fail to notice the sign in front of Santa’s House that declared “Santa’s On a Break.”

Jim knew he’d probably get the brush off from Uhura and Spock, but maybe Santa would be nicer. He had to at least try.

As they approached he heard the lyrics of the song playing overhead.

He’s making a list, He’s checking it twice, Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice

“Santa Claus is coming to town,” he sang softly. He smiled down at David, who grinned back. He turned to the three standing there. “Excuse me, but…”

Uhura looked at him. “Kirk, can’t you see we’re…”

“Yes, but my son…”

Her gaze went to David and brightened instantly. “You have a son?”

“Yes. This is David. David, this is Ms. Uhura.” He glanced at Spock, feeling his face heat. He cleared his throat. “And this is Spock.”

“Spock?” David repeated, scrunching up his face. “Isn’t that the one you like, Daddy?”

Jim laughed, wanting to crawl away as Spock raised a brow. “Uh, ha ha. Kids. They say the darndest things. Listen. I don’t want to take up your time, I just wanted to know when Santa was…Bones?” He stared at Santa.

Bones narrowed his eyes. “That’s Santa Claus to you, son.”

David frowned. “I don’t see Uncle Bones. Where is he?”

Uhura kicked Jim. “He’s not here. Your Daddy was mistaken.”

Jim’s jaw tightened. “Hang on one second, David. Daddy wants to have a word with Santa Claus.” He glanced at Uhura. “Can you watch him for a second?”

“Sure. Hey, David, do you want a candy cane?”

Jim grabbed Santa’s arm and pulled him out of earshot. “What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be Santa at the store?”

“Because you would have made fun of me for it.”

“No, I wouldn’t…okay, yeah, I would. But still.”

“Listen, I just wanted some side income to send some stuff to my own kid. Plus have something to get David a gift. It’s no big deal. Just a few hours a week.”

Jim nodded. “Okay. Well, when you talk to David try to talk him into something easy, will you?”

“You want me to lead your son?”

“Well, you know. To like toys and stuff. Nothing like universal peace or mommy and daddy together again.” Jim grimaced.

“All right, all right. And what was that about Spock?”

“Nothing.”

He pushed Bones back to the others and saw that David not only had a candy cane but several foil wrapped chocolate balls.

Swell, he thought. A hyped up David would be just what he needed.

“Uh. Thanks. Anyway I was wondering when Santa’s break would be over as my son wants to give him his wish list.”

“Santa” looked down at Jim’s son. “Have you been nice, David?”

David nodded. “’Course. Daddy says it always pays to be nice.”

Jim smiled.

“Well. I think you can tell him what you want right now, David. Santa can delay his break for you,” Uhura spoke up.

“That’s right.” “Santa” crouched down next to David and put his arm around him. “What do you want for Christmas, David? A toy space ship? A telescope? A little mini science lab?”

“Nope. None of that.”

“Er. Um, then, books? Coloring books or…”

“Perhaps it would be wise, Santa, to allow David to make the request himself,” Spock said.

“No, Santa,” David said, voice small. “Daddy can get me all that. Or Mommy.”

“Santa” glanced up at Jim, who shifted awkwardly. “All right. What do you want?”

David glanced over at Spock and then back to Santa. “Daddy needs a boyfriend.”

“David—”

“He’s super lonely and all he does is study and spend time with me. And Santa, I know he really really likes Spock.”

“How do you know that?”

“He told me!”

Jim saw Uhura smother a laugh and he glared daggers at her. “All right, David. I’m pretty sure we’ve taken up too much of Santa’s break as it is. We should go.”

“But Santa hasn’t said…”

“Well, now, David,” “Santa” interrupted. “It’s very difficult to give gifts of people, you know.”

“Sure. But I’m sure if Mr. Spock got to know Daddy he’d really like him.”

Jim coughed. “Lunch. Come on, kiddo. We’ll go to your favorite place. Say bye to Santa now.”

David pouted a little. “Okay.”

And to Jim’s further embarrassment, David walked over to where Spock stood, looking unfailingly serene.

“I know Santa can work magic!” David said to Spock. “See you later.” He waved frantically at Spock and then ran to where Jim waited. He smiled so brightly at Jim, he didn’t have the heart to be upset with the boy.

“Did you have fun?” Jim asked, as he steered his son away from the gawking group.

“Yeah! And I got candy.”

Jim laughed. “I know. But before you eat too much of that, let’s get some real food.”

****

“Daddy, he’s here, he’s here!”

Jim frowned at his terminal screen, paused it, and looked over at his son who was standing nearby jumping up and down.

“Who?”

“Spock.”

Jim blinked. “What?”

“At the door! He’s here.”

He got up from is chair and came around the desk. “David, I’ve told you before not to answer the door. Come and get me.”

He hadn’t even heard someone at the door.

“Okay,” David said. “But he’s here, he’s here.”

Jim couldn’t imagine what Spock was doing there. He’d never been there before and Jim didn’t even know Spock knew where he lived.

He went over to the apartment door and peered out the peephole, but he couldn’t see much.

“It’s what I asked Santa for!”

“David, shhh. It’s got nothing to do with Santa.”

He gestured for David to get back and then he opened the door.

Sure enough Spock stood there, dressed in his all black uniform, looking austere and intimidating.

Jim tried a smile. “Hi.”

“Good evening. May I have a word?”

He cleared his throat. “Sure. One second.” He turned back to David. “Wait inside, okay? I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

Jim smiled and then stepped onto the landing outside his apartment. It was a beautiful day, really. His second-floor apartment faced out onto the garden area of the apartment complex. He preferred that then looking out over the pool or the street.

“So, um, what can I do for you?” he asked Spock.

Spock’s gaze flicked briefly to the closed door. “Your son is quite appealing.”

“Thank you.”

Spock nodded. “His…mother…”

“She’s off planet. Carol Marcus. She’s a scientist. She’s not…” Jim licked his lips. “We’re not together.” He cleared his throat. “Anymore.”

“I see.” Spock straightened. “I was wondering if I may…that is, if you might be free to have dinner with me at some point.”

“Yes!”

Jim blushed, glancing quickly at the closed door. Clearly he needed to have a conversation with his son about listening in on adult conversations.

Spock quirked a brow but otherwise did not react to David’s yell.

Jim took a step further away from the door. “Listen, um, what David said at the store.”

“Children say all kinds of things,” Spock said quietly. “I am aware that you did not wish him to speak up, however I did hope there was some truth to what he said.”

Jim blinked. “Yeah?”

Way to go, Jim, he thought. You sound so brilliant.

“Leonard McCoy did advise me that David’s words were truthful but if—”

“Bones did?”

Spock fell silent but nodded. His cheeks were just the tiniest bit green.

Jim laughed. “Well, then. I guess I shouldn’t bother to deny it.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means, Professor, that I’d love to have dinner with you at any point.”

“I see. Then I am gratified.”

“I do need to arrange for a babysitter, though. How does tomorrow night grab you?”

Spock inclined his head. “It grabs me well.”

Jim grinned. “Fantastic. See you then? Did you want to meet somewhere or—?”

“I will come for you at seven tomorrow night.”

“Okay. Cool.”

Spock nodded again and then turned and walked over to the stairs that would take him to the ground level. Jim watched him the entire way until he was out of sight.

He exhaled deeply. “He’s making a list, checking it twice. Gonna find out who’s naughty or nice.” He shook his head. “Guess I’ve been nice.”

He turned back and opened his apartment door to face the eager brightness in David’s face.

“Guess you were right, kiddo. It did have something to do with Santa.”

“Yay!”

Jim laughed, dropped to his knees and hugged his son.

December 23, 2023

Flash Fic Revisit December 21, 2023

From 2019, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

“Your nose is as red as Snow White’s Apple,” Leonard “Bones” McCoy cracked to Jim Kirk as they strode through the middle quad path at Starfleet Academy.

“Funny. I’ve been sneezing all day and my nose is starting to run. Think I caught a cold from…hey!” Jim squealed and covered his neck with his hand. “What you just stab me with?”

“Medication, you baby. Actually considering the time of year, your nose is as red as Rudolph’s.”

“You know that reminds me, don’t you think Santa was a dick to Rudolph?”

“Well. Sure. That was kinda the point, wasn’t it? To show that even a good guy like Santa can get it wrong.”

Jim stumbled and then stopped, putting his hand on his forehead. “I think I’m getting a fever.”

“I think I have something for that.” Bones dug into his medical bag.

“Easy.” Jim dodged him. “I’m still recovering from that bee sting you gave me only seconds ago.”

“Do you wanna get better or not? Haven’t you got a big date with the hob—”

“Jim. Doctor.”

“Speak of the devil,” Bones muttered.

Spock arched his brow at Bones but otherwise ignored him in favor of gazing at Jim intently. “You do not look well.”

“It’s the bright red nose.”

Jim shot Bones an irritated look. “Be quiet. I’m sure Spock can see for himself.”

“Pretty sure the whole campus can spot that shiny beacon,” Bones cracked. “It’s glowing. You sure you don’t want another shot?”

“You received a medical procedure from the doctor?”

“Involuntary, but yeah. That’s quite all right, Bones, I’ll pass. Be on your way.”

“Let me know if that fever gets worse!” Bones called as he hurried away.

Spock’s intense look became concerned. “You have a fever?”

“Just a small one.” Jim sighed. “But, um, I don’t think I should go to the dinner with your parents. I don’t want to infect anyone. I might be contagious. I’m sorry.”

“It is I who feel regret, Jim. I will cancel.”

“No, you don’t have to…”

“My parents are in San Francisco for an extended period. We can schedule the dinner for another time when you are feeling better. I would prefer to watch over your illness.”

Jim smiled. He did, even though, he really felt pretty damn miserable. But how could he not smile when he had this amazing Vulcan standing nearby, ready to take care of him?

And though Jim hadn’t quite got to the point where he told Spock he loved him or anything, Jim was certain he did.

“Okay.” He took a step forward and stumbled again, but Spock seized hold of him instantly. “Guess I feel pretty crappy.”

“Indeed. Come, Jim. It’s time for me to put you to bed.”

“Wish we were going to bed for something fun.”

“Jim…”

“I know. And this nose. It’s not very comfwutable.”

Spock shook his head and helped Jim out of the quad to get him to bed.

December 21, 2023

Holiday Story Revisit

From 2020

Peppermint Chocolate Martinis (A Little Bit Longish)

While it was true Spock did not normally participate in leisure activities, he had allowed Nyota to talk him into having drinks in a rather secluded bar on Yorktown. She had indicated that their captain and Doctor McCoy would join them later.

The captain was meeting with the admiralty regarding the rebuild of the Enterprise and McCoy, according to Nyota, was still treating members of their crew for injuries sustained on Altamid and its aftermath.

Though initially Spock had surmised that he and Nyota would reconcile in their romantic relationship, ultimately, after many long, very personal conversations, they had made the decision to move on from their intimacy and to build a friendship instead.

Thus why he agreed to the drink, though it was not his habit.

“There’s a booth over there.” Nyota pointed to the corner booth. “We’ll go there. I’m going to get us peppermint chocolate martinis.” She winked.

“Is that wise?”

She laughed. “It’s not unwise. It’s the Terran holiday season. I think getting peppermint chocolate martinis will be very festive.” She put her hand on his arm. “You can handle one, Spock. You need to relax a little. You’ve been wound tighter than an old clock.”

Spock shook his head at such euphemisms but went dutifully to the booth while she ordered their drinks.

Nyota soon appeared bearing a drink for each of them, which she put on the table before sliding into the booth next to Spock.

The drinks were rather large in Spock’s opinion and had been presented in martini glasses with a peppermint stick sticking out the side of the glass and there were chocolate sprinkles covering the top.

“If I didn’t know better, I would think you are trying to get me intoxicated,” Spock said, taking a sip through bright red straw.

Nyota smirked. “Now why would I do that?”

Spock could not imagine why she would and after another few sips, he had to admit the drink was delicious and he was feeling more relaxed.

Just then a uniformed ensign approached their booth. He appeared to be quite embarrassed.

“So sorry to disturb you, Lieutenant, Commander, but Lieutenant Uhura is needed for a rather urgent communication console issue aboard the Enterprise. It won’t take long.” He paused. “I think.”

Nyota sighed. “My work is never done. Okay, be right there.”

She went to slide out of the booth as the ensign moved off. “Kirk and McCoy should be here any minute, Spock. And I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“I will await you.”

She gave him a funny look and then sauntered off.

Spock quickly finished the remainder of his peppermint chocolate martini. And when the captain and doctor had still not arrived, nor had Nyota returned, he pulled her martini in front of him and began to drink it.

He’d finished hers, when finally, Jim and McCoy entered the bar.

Jim came straight over to the booth and smiled at Spock.

Spock liked his smile. And he couldn’t help but notice Jim was dressed casually in denim that hugged what could only be described as a bubble butt, a snug dark blue T-shirt that set off those eyes perfectly, and a soft leather looking jacket.

McCoy was right behind him, but Spock ignored the doctor.

“Sorry we’re late.”

“You are right on time.”

Jim laughed. “Okay. What are you drinking?”

“Peppermint Chocolate Martinis.”

Jim blinked. “Um. Yeah?”

“Indeed. Nyota had a communications emergency, but she was drinking the same.”

Jim glanced then at McCoy. “Two more of those then, Bones. Just a red wine for me. Surprise me.”

“What am I the barmaid?” McCoy asked, sarcastically, but he moved off to get the drinks,

Spock patted the booth seat directly beside him.

Jim did that slow blink again, but he slid in beside Spock.

Spock put his hands on Jim’s jacket and felt it up. “This is a very nice coat.”

Jim turned his head toward Spock, openly staring. “You think?”

“It is not real leather, I hope.”

Jim smirked at that. Spock loved his smirk.

“Of course not. Synthetic. And God, I’m hot.”

“Yes,” Spock agreed.

Jim laughed again. Spock decided Jim didn’t laugh nearly enough. But Jim was shrugging off that jacket. “In here. It’s warm in here.”

Spock angled his head. “It seems quite comfortable to me.”

“Did you drink both of those by any chance?” Jim asked, pointing to the empty glasses.

“Oh. Yes.”

“Oh yes.” Laughing again. “How do you feel, Mister Spock?”

“Very relaxed.”

“I can tell.”

Spock put his hand on Jim’s leg under the table. He felt Jim’s muscle jump and looked up into Jim’s widening eyes.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have the most extraordinary iris color?”

“Uh. Well. Not quite that way, but so I’ve been told, sure.”

Spock frowned. “I imagine many tell you how sexually attractive you are.”

Jim licked his lips. “Well. Um. Sure. Some have. But not you. Before.”

Spock nodded at this. “I have been quite remiss then.”

McCoy arrived with some drinks then. He put the red wine in front of Jim and Spock’s drink in front of him, then with what could only be called a sardonic look, he left again.

Jim smiled faintly at Spock and reached for his wine. He had just taken a sip when…

“I would like to take you to bed.”

Jim choked and spit his wine across the table.

Alarmed, Spock stood up slightly in the booth and began to pound on Jim’s back.

“Spock! Spock!” Jim gasped. “Stop! You’re going to break my back.”

Spock ceased his pounding and sat back down, closer still to Jim. In fact, he realized he had partially sat on Jim’s lap because his captain very carefully but gently pushed Spock off him.

“Are you all right?” Spock demanded.

“Yeah. You just surprised me. Spock, I don’t think you’re yourself.”

“I am not.”

Jim nodded. “Thought so.”

“But I would still like to take you to bed.” Spock took a sip of his martini. “My sexual attraction to you is not fueled by intoxication. My desire for you is unwavering.”

Jim stared open mouthed at him now.

Spock took another sip of his martini while he waited for Jim to process this.

“You sure?”

“Vulcans do not lie.”

“They could be mistaken…”

“No.” Spock shook his head. “Is it that my wish to take you to bed is an affront to your—”

“No,” Jim said, quickly. “Nothing’s affronted, I assure you. No. I mean, um, you know, I guess, I like the idea.”

Spock noticed that Jim’s cheeks had reddened. “You are embarrassed.”

Jim laughed. “Yeah. This is a bit of a weird moment.”

McCoy returned with the other drinks and gave them a strange look. He put them down and just that minute Nyota returned to the booth. Her eyes widened when she saw three empty martini glasses in front of Spock.

“Spock! Did you drink all of those?”

“Yes.”

McCoy snorted. “Uhura, maybe you’d better take him back to where he’s staying.”

Nyota shook her head at McCoy. “Actually, I think Spock would prefer the captain escort him.”

Spock nodded quickly.

Jim shared a look with her, but then he also nodded. “Yeah, good idea. Listen, Bones, I’m going to say goodnight and take Spock back to the Regal Yorktown Hotel. I think he’s had enough.”

“But what about…oomph.” McCoy scowled at Nyota who had just elbowed him.

“You can have a drink with me, Leonard.”

McCoy blew out a breath. “Fine. Damn fools. I just wanna say—” He eyed Nyota’s raised elbow and closed his mouth. She smiled serenely.

“Goodnight, Spock. Captain.”

“Lieutenant. Bones,” Jim said with one of his smirks. But he helped Spock out of the booth, holding his arm as he got him out of the bar.

“I did not mean to remove you from the enjoyment of your evening,” Spock said, somewhat remorsefully.

“Don’t worry about it. How are you feeling?”

“Somewhat as though I may hurl.”

Jim sighed. “Was afraid of that. Come on then, babe, let’s get you to your room.”

Spock warmed at the endearment but chose not to comment on it just yet.

To be truthful, and Spock generally was, he didn’t really remember the walk from the bar to his room at the Regal Yorktown Hotel. He did somewhat notice the holiday festive decor set in deference to Terran citizens.

But Jim got him there and brought him over to sit on the edge of the bed. Spock couldn’t hide his surprise when Jim knelt in front of him, hands on Spock’s legs, by his boots.

“Let’s get these off you.” He tugged Spock’s boots off.

Jim’s smile was Spock’s favorite. Gentle, sweet, and indulgent all at the same time. He used it a lot for Spock and that…

“You love me!”

Spock winced at the accusation in his tone.

But it earned him another laugh.

“Yeah, I do, sugar plum.”

“What exactly is a sugar plum?”

“Hell if I know. I used to think as a kid it was a plum covered in sugar but my mom said…you know what? Who cares?” Jim grinned. “You love me too, right?”

Spock reached for the hands Jim had on his leg. He leaned forward so that Jim would rise to his knees and held Jim’s hands in his.

“More than peppermint chocolate martinis,” Spock replied.

“That much, huh?”

“Yes,” Spock said, seriously. “And as much as I would like to take you to bed right now, I am quite sure I am about to vomit.”

Jim let go of his hands quickly and scrambled to his feet. A moment later he came back to Spock holding a trash can.

Later when he was certain nothing else would come out, Jim took Spock into the bathroom, got him cleaned up, and then helped him into bed.

“Thank you, Ashayam.”

“You’re welcome, babe.”

“I like that one better than sugar plum.”

Jim smiled. “I’ll remember that. Think you can sleep?”

“If you will stay with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Spock closed his eyes and then opened them again quickly. “Jim!”

Jim, who was still right where he was before, gave him a funny look. “Yeah?”

“Thought you left,” Spock mumbled.

“No more peppermint chocolate martinis for you, Mister.”

“It is the holidays.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Will you lie beside me?”

Jim brushed Spock’s hair off his face. “Sure I will.”

He felt Jim get into the bed next to him. Spock grabbed his hand and pulled Jim’s arm around him.

“I am sorry it took intoxication for me to—”

“Shh. Go to sleep. Whatever worked. You know?”

Spock closed his eyes, feeling Jim’s hand covering over his heart. “I know.”

Whatever worked.

He didn’t know much about holidays or drinking, obviously, but he knew that he would remember this night forever.

Or… until morning. At least.

December 19, 2023

Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

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