Okay, maybe things weren’t that bad. He wasn’t out freezing to death in a snow drift or anything.
He had shelter.
The Riverside farmhouse.
There was no power though. That had gone out when the blizzard started.
He had a fire in the fireplace, burning pretty good, actually, so he hadn’t lost his fire-starting skills. Sitting close to said fire made hm feel toasty warm.
But it was Christmas Eve and he had been expected at a party across town. Of course Jim suspected that party was likely either scaled back or canceled altogether. His communicator had lost service right after he’d sent his regrets to the host.
Since he had only arrived in Riverside that morning and would be leaving again the day after Christmas, or that had been the plan, he hadn’t bothered to decorate the place for Christmas or buy any special food.
Coming here, actually, had been a spur of the moment thing. None of his family happened to be in residence. Bones had gone to Georgia to see his kid during the Academy’s winter break. He’d invited Jim but Jim hadn’t felt like intruding on a family thing. Then one of his ex-girlfriends had invited him for her Christmas Eve party and Jim thought, eh, why not.
Who knew a damn blizzard was coming?
“I did warn you the weather report was troublesome.”
Oh, Right. He wasn’t alone either.
Somehow, and Jim was now not sure exactly how it happened, he ended up inviting Spock, his Vulcan instructor at the academy for physics. He’d been pretty sure Spock would say no, after all he barely acknowledged Jim’s existence.
And yet, here Spock was, sitting beside him next to the fire.
“We don’t really get white Christmases. Snow this early is kinda rare and a blizzard even more so. Apologies to Irving Berlin but white Christmases are kind of a myth. Not impossible but not really likely.”
Spock just stared at him which made Jim realize he was babbling again. Something all his friends told him he tended to do when he was nervous. What did he have to be nervous about?
Right.
His crush was sitting very close beside him, snowed in with him, and there was no one else in the house but them.
“We could sing Christmas carols.”
“I would rather not.”
Yeah, Spock had about as much holiday spirit as Ebenezer Scrooge. Well, before he was reformed. Scrooge that is. Spock had yet to be.
“Why’d you come anyway?” Jim couldn’t help but ask.
“Because you asked me.”
“Yeah.”
Silence for a bit more then…
“Why did you ask me?”
The dreaded question.
“Well.” His face heated and not from the fire. “You know. I sorta…that is…I kind of like you.” He cleared his throat.
More silence. And for a moment Jim thought that would be the end of it. Spock wasn’t going to acknowledge what Jim just said.
Might be for the best.
“That is why I accepted.”
Jim glanced at Spock. “Because you knew I liked you?”
Spock nodded. “And I reciprocate.”
It took five whole minutes for the meaning of that to work its way through Jim’s brain. He blinked.
“Aren’t you with Uhura?”
“It seems I am with you.”
Only thirty seconds more because then he was moving closer to Spock, actually straddling the Vulcan’s lap, and grabbing his face to kiss him. And kiss him.
Many minutes later, they lay side by side in front of the still blazing fire, both of them without clothes, sated and happy. For Jim he was slightly sore, but almost pleasantly so.
“I’m glad we got snowed in,” he murmured. “Merry Christmas to me.”
Spock shook his head. “You must transfer out of my class.”
“Yeah okay. Done.” Jim looked over his Vulcan lover and kissed him again. “Come on. I’m getting cold again. Warm me up.”
It hadn’t been intentional. Perhaps subconscious. Wherever Spock’s captain went, he often found himself drifting that way. Sometimes it was done before he even realized, like now.
They were on a short leave in San Francisco during the Terran holiday season. It had been an exciting development for many of the Enterprise’s Human crew members and the fact that Kirk was able to arrange it due to his current positive reputation with Starfleet had made the crew think even more highly of him then they already had.
Spock found himself somewhat adrift there. There hadn’t really been enough time to make his way to New Vulcan to see his father and his relationship with Nyota had, rather unfortunately, never really recovered from their estrangement over his now abandoned decision to go to New Vulcan to assist with populating the colony.
Nyota was spending the holidays with friends from the ship.
And Jim…while on Yorktown he had renewed his relationship with Carol Marcus. When the Enterprise left dock there, Doctor Marcus returned to serve on the ship so that she could be close to Jim.
Jim’s mother and brother, as well as his family, were in San Francisco too and the intention, as Spock understood, was for them all to spend Christmas together in Winona Kirk’s fancy hotel suite.
But it was now two days before Christmas and Spock had somehow followed in the footsteps of his captain and Carol Marcus who apparently had also been out for a walk on that somewhat warm twenty-third of December.
He realized their voices had turned angry as they stopped by one of the ocean piers. Spock had good hearing but he deliberately held back even out of Vulcan earshot because Carol Marcus sounded very upset and Jim had sounded…weary.
She appeared out of the pathway, arms wrapped around herself, tears streaming down her face. Spock had been unable to hide before she did, so her gaze went immediately to him.
“Why am I not surprised?” she demanded in a sobbing voice before hurrying away down the street.
Though uncertain as to her meaning, Spock felt it was prudent to check on Captain Kirk to make sure he was all right, given their apparent argument.
He hadn’t decided what to do when Jim himself appeared from the same direction she had just come from.
“Oh. Spock.”
“I did not intend to intrude.”
Jim nodded. “Yeah. Did you, uh, hear anything?”
“No. But Doctor Marcus did appear upset.”
“It’s over. Again. This time for good.”
Unsure what to say, Spock said nothing.
Jim glanced back the way he came. “I’m going to look out at the ocean. You coming?”
Since Jim didn’t wait for an answer, Spock didn’t give one, and simply followed after him.
Jim was dressed casually, wearing Jeans and a navy long sleeved shirt. He had stuck his hands in his pockets as he stood on the edge of the peer looking out at the dark, rolling ways directly in front of them.
Spock waited for his captain to explain, as he knew he would get around to doing eventually.
“She’s pregnant,” Jim said after a while.
“I…see.”
“I’d say something lame like I don’t know how it happened but yeah. We used protection, but nothing’s completely reliable.”
Spock understood. Once early on in his relationship with Nyota she had become pregnant, but the pregnancy hadn’t been viable and she’d lost it.
“She wanted us to quit Starfleet, get married, and raise the child together.”
Spock’s stomach roiled though he had no right to feel that way. But yes, the idea of Jim leaving the Enterprise and marrying Carol Marcus dismayed him.
Jim glanced at him. “I told her no.”
“You…do not want to marry her and raise the child together?”
“No, I don’t. That sounds awful, right? I know it does. But, Spock, I just…I don’t want to leave the Enterprise. It’s my home and the crew my family. My friends. Over the last few years this is the life I’ve built. Is it selfish to feel this way?”
“I cannot judge you.”
“She said if I loved her then I would make the sacrifice and do as she wanted. That doesn’t sound like…is that what love is, Spock? Sacrificing every part of yourself for someone else?” He blew out a long breath. “And it hit me then.”
“What, Jim?”
“If I loved her, it wouldn’t seem like such a sacrifice. I’d want to be with her, I’d want to get married and raise our kid together. I’d be so filled with happiness, I’d want just that. Or I think I would. I don’t love her. Not like she deserves. I care about her. But I don’t see us spending the rest of our lives together. I told her that.”
“I…” But words failed Spock. He didn’t know exactly what he should say to that. If he was expected to say anything.
“That’s when she left. She ended things. She’s already resigned her commission in Starfleet. She won’t be rejoining the Enterprise.”
“I…am sorry, Jim. And the child?”
“She’ll have him and raise him alone. It’s a boy. She already knows. She wanted us to settle in London where her mother lives so I am sure her mother will help. I’m not sure she’ll let me be part of his life at all at this point. I guess I’ll have to talk to her again about all that.” Jim sighed and turned away. “I don’t think I’ve ever broken anyone’s heart before.”
Oh you have, Spock thought, but chose not to say so out loud.
“And now. Fuck. We were supposed to spend tomorrow night and Christmas with Mom. She’s got a big suite at the Grand Hotel. All decorated for Christmas. A tree and all the trimmings. Big fancy feast. Sam and Aurelan will be there and their kids. Carol was supposed to go with me. I finally had a significant other to go with me to one of these family things.”
Jim fell silent, shook his head.
Then, “I sound like an ass, right? God, I’m all messed up.”
“I do not think you sound like an ass, Jim. You do not love her and do not wish to change your life knowing that eventually it will not work between you. I find that rather brave of you.”
Jim snorted. “Not really.”
“For a long time I stayed in a relationship because there was no real reason to end it but it had become both emotionally and physically unfulfilling. I am sure many do that exact thing. It is preferable to being alone.”
“All I know is I couldn’t even imagine not being on the Enterprise. Not seeing you…and-and everyone.”
Spock nodded. “You love the Enterprise.”
“As I said, it’s my home. But that’s…” He shook his head. “Do you know why I’m not in love with Carol?”
Spock once more was left without an answer. How was he supposed to answer that?
“Because I love someone else. And I have for a long time.” Jim wiped his face with his hand. “And I always knew I did, you know, but I thought…I can pretend I don’t. Since-since they don’t love me, it’s easier to push it away.”
“You love someone who doesn’t love you back?”
“Unrequited love is a bitch,” Jim said softly. “I’m not…proud of myself for using Carol to try to get past it…if that’s what I did. I did care for her. I do. It just…it wasn’t the same. I wasn’t fair to her.”
“And you are certain that this individual does not love you in return?”
“Well.” Jim shrugged. “He’s never given any indication he does. For a long time he was with someone but now he is not and—”
Spock shut him up with a kiss.
Jim sputtered against Spock’s lips and took a step back. “Spock!”
“You have always babbled on way too long.”
Spock returned to kissing him and this time Jim did not pull away. In fact his arms came up around Spock’s neck to remove any distance between them.
He did not know how long they kissed in the dark by the pier, but eventually Jim looked at him, eyes shining.
“That might be the best kiss I’ve ever had.”
“Yes, it might be.”
Jim laughed, as he always seemed to laugh at the strangest things. “Listen, how would you like to meet my family for Christmas?”
“I think that would be appropriate,” Spock agreed.
“But first…your place or mine?”
Spock considered this. “Wherever the closest bed is.”
Jim grinned. “Affirmative.”
****
Spock thought perhaps entering Winona Kirk’s hotel suite for the Kirk family celebration ought to have been awkward. They were all clearly expecting Carol Marcus to accompany Jim. But somehow with Jim it didn’t seem awkward at all.
“Hey everyone. This is Spock,” Jim made a general announcement. “Spock, meet the family.”
Winona Kirk’s gaze went briefly to her son but he smiled warmly and shrugged a bit, and she smiled in return.
“Welcome to our celebration, Spock. It’s wonderful to finally meet you. Jim has talked about you a lot.”
And to Spock’s surprise, she moved forward and embraced him.
“I know you’ll make Jim very happy,” she whispered as she hugged him.
“I will certainly try,” he whispered back, not at all surprised that Jim’s mother already knew how her son felt.
She released him and turned to her other son, a big giant of a man with bulging muscles who had been playfully fake punching Jim’s arms.
“This punk is my son, George Samuel, and the lovely woman trying not to look embarrassed by her husband’s antics is Aurelan.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Spock said. “And to be included in your holiday.”
“Hey the pleasure is ours,” George Samuel declared. “We always worried Jimmy would never settle down.”
Jim blushed at the nickname and real punched his brother back.
“Boys,” their mother admonished. “And the children, of course, Peter and April. Come, we’re all sitting in the living room area eating treats.”
Jim returned to Spock’s side and linked his arm with Spock’s. “They can be a bit much.” He laughed. “Like me.”
“I have a feeling I can tolerate all of you quite well.”
Jim gave him a quick kiss and drew him forward to join his family.
Jim should have known Spock would look for him and since Spock knew him quite well these days, he found Jim pretty quickly.
He was seated on an old faded and peeling wooden bench situated in a long forgotten and overgrown garden across from the back porch of the old farmhouse. There was a bit of shade there from a nearby large tree that had been on the property hundreds of years. Good thing since it was July and really quite warm.
He’d have to decide what to do with this place now. There was no one else to make that decision at this point.
“Jim.”
Spock sat beside him on the bench, concern barely hidden in his expression.
Jim smiled and patted Spock’s leg. “I’m okay.”
“You are contemplative.”
“Mm. Even when your parent is sick, you’re not really prepared to lose them.”
“True.” Spock studied him for a moment. “Your thoughts are jumbled.”
“You should be used to that by now,” Jim joked.
Spock shook his head slightly. “The overwhelming emotion I feel from you is regret. I was unaware you had regrets regarding your mother.”
“I guess to you regrets are illogical.”
“I used to think so. But after the loss of my mother I admit to experiencing some regrets myself.”
“Of course you did. I don’t mean to dismiss your feelings in that.”
“You did not. And I do not intend to make this about me,” Spock said. “Will you explain what you are thinking and feeling?”
“Just wish I had been there more for Mom in her final years,” Jim admitted.
“As the captain of a starship it would be difficult to be with her as much as you might like.”
“Yeah but…last year, right about this time, I was on Earth. And she wanted me to come see her here in Riverside at the farmhouse to do our Christmas in July thing.”
“Christmas in July?”
Jim laughed. “Yeah. See when we were kids, my brother and me, little kids, Mom did this thing in the summer. This was before she got so involved in her job that she wasn’t with us much. Before…”
“Frank,” Spock supplied.
“Yeah. She buried herself in work after my dad, then her parents, and then her sister died. It was a lot of grief for her to handle and so she ended up signing up for a job that took her off planet, but she couldn’t bring me and Sam with her. Frank was her sister’s husband. After her sister got sick and passed, for a while Mom got involved with him, but she never really loved him. But when she went off planet, Frank said he’d watch us. Well, you know about what happened with him. But the summer stuff, the Christmas in July we did, that was before her parents and sister passed away.”
“I understand.”
“The whole idea for it started long ago but Mom adopted it for us. One day in July, we got to pick some part of Christmas to do just for that day. Each one of us got to pick whatever we wanted. Mom always chose to give each of us kids a present. That was her thing. Sam always thought with his stomach so he chose to make cookies and gingerbread.”
“And you?”
“I always wanted to put up a Christmas tree.” Jim grinned. “It used to make Sam crazy because it was so much work. We had an artificial one in the basement so Mom would make Sam bring it up with decorations and lights and we’d put it up and decorate in the morning and then the next day, it would all come down. Sam bitched a fit. But I loved it. I’d spend most of that day in the living room in front of it in my shorts and t-shirt staring at the twinkling lights and shiny decorations. It was my happy place.”
“I am glad you had that time with your mother and brother.”
He smiled wistfully. “Me too. Anyway, when I was on Earth last year, Mom wanted me to come see her and do the Christmas in July thing with her.” He choked up.
Spock reached for and took Jim’s hand. “She knew you loved her, Jim.”
“I know,” he whispered. “But I told her I couldn’t. I had too many other things to do while I was here and wouldn’t be able to make it. She was cool about it but I could tell she was disappointed, you know? I had no idea then that it was my last opportunity.”
“I am sorry, Jim. I know how painful such thoughts are. But I also know that she knew how much she mattered to you and I know she adored you as well.”
“Yeah, I do know all that too.” He squeezed Spock’s hand. “I just can’t help but think about stuff like that. And I know there’s nothing I can do about it. But it sucks.”
“Yes,” Spock acknowledged. “Would you like to go into the house and put up the tree while we are here?”
Jim laughed. “You’d do that?”
“Of course I would, if that is what you would like to do. It can be a memorial itself of your mother and brother and the times you were able to enjoy with them. However far removed it is now.”
Jim leaned over to kiss him. “I would love that. Let’s do it.”
And he tugged Spock up and into the house they went to put up a tree.
It was a hot summer’s day in San Francisco. Not unusual, certainly. In the distance, Spock spotted what the human’s around him called thunder clouds though in the amount of time Spock had been in San Francisco during the warm summers the clouds never seemed to accumulate enough to produce any precipitation.
Last summer he’d taken a few weeks during the Academy’s typical summer break to visit his parents on Vulcan. It had been a tense and unpleasant time there. His father still wasn’t speaking to him for deciding to enlist in Starfleet rather than the VSA and his mother did her best to keep the peace between them. He could see they were only causing her pain and so this summer he chose not to go to Vulcan.
Spock didn’t find the heat nearly as bad as his Human counterparts, being from Vulcan after all, so he was out for his afternoon walk, passing one of the apartment buildings known for housing cadets.
“Oh. No.”
Spock heard the note of panic in those words and he instantly reacted to the distress, stopping in his tracks and looking upward.
A male Human with sandy blond hair hung precariously by only one hand from a top floor balcony. He wore only a light blue tank top and low-slung denim shorts that appeared to be in danger of falling off at any moment. But the man himself was in far more imminent danger.
Spock made a decision.
“Let go. I will catch you.”
“What? Are you crazy? No.”
Spock could see him desperately trying to get his other hand to grasp the railing of the balcony but he was failing.
“Your hand is too sweaty.”
“Thanks. Tell me something I don’t know. Damn. I don’t wanna die.”
Spock calculated the distance from the balcony to the ground. “I do not believe you would die but you would likely have grievous injuries.”
“Grievous. That’s a good word.”
“Your most logical strategy is to let go so that I may catch you.”
The man’s laugh was shaky. “Well, far be it from me to go against logic. Are you sure you won’t drop me?”
“I will not. And Vulcans do not lie.”
“Not sure that’s as reassuring as you think it is. But okay. Uh. Here goes nothing.”
After a rather nerve-wracking hesitation the man let go of the railing and fell quickly to Spock’s position.
He landed in Spock’s arms and instantly he hooked both arms around Spock’s neck. Spock felt a wire string against his skin.
The man moistened his lips with his tongue and looked straight into Spock’s gaze with the bluest eyes Spock had ever seen. He was breathtakingly beautiful in Spock’s opinion.
“What are you holding?” he asked.
“Huh?” The man blinked and then grinned. “Oh. A string of Christmas lights. I was trying to hang them on my balcony. I climbed onto the railing and then my foot slipped. I thought I was a goner.”
Spock glanced up again. “The railing is too narrow to accommodate your person.”
“Now he tells me,” Jim murmured, drawing Spock’s attention once more to his lips.
“Christmas lights?”
“Yeah. For a Christmas in July party. Which I have to say since you rescued me from an unkind fate you just have to come.”
Rather than agree to that strange invitation, Spock said, “May I suggest a different method for hanging your decorations?”
“Yeah, definitely. Jim.”
“What?”
“My name. Jim Kirk.”
“Spock.”
“I know who you are. Everyone does.”
Spock didn’t quite know what that meant and he also realized he still had his arms full of the man. The strangest thing was that he found himself quite reluctant to set him on his feet. He had to, of course.
So, he did. Jim slipped from his arms to stand next to Spock.
He gave Spock a crooked smile.
“Thanks for the rescue again. It’s really hot out here.”
It was a non sequitur.
“Yes. Quite warm.”
“I have a big pitcher of iced tea upstairs in my apartment. You could, you know, spot me, while I finish decorating for that party. You are going to come to it right?”
“When is it?”
“Tonight. Just a few hours from now. If you come upstairs for that iced tea, you could just hang around until the party.”
Spock was not one who usually gave into spontaneity. But he found himself wanting to go up to Jim’s apartment for that iced tea. And whatever else might be offered.
And he didn’t think he was mistaken about those possibilities he saw twinkling in those blue eyes.
“Yes, I would like some iced tea. And to attend your strange festivity.”
Jim laughed. It was a very good sound.
“Come on then, Spock. And welcome to my strange life.”
I’d like to make the announcement now that unless I state clearly in the post that more is to come, all of what I post for Christmas in July are one shot flashes and will not be continued. And in all honesty I am almost 100% positive they will all remain one shot flashes only. I always appreciate the clamor for more, but right now I’m just choosing not to go there. Thank you!
Cute cookie picture below, right? Several years ago I attempted to make decorated Christmas cookies. It did not go well, LOL
I am on temporary AO3 updating hiatus while I work on those Christmas in July flashes for here on the blog. I’d like to get them written and scheduled so I don’t have to be frantically scrambling to get something written.
Kitchen is done, washer and dryer is fixed and today we got our new refrigerator. Yep. Because that had to die too. It’s like we had to have everything new in the new kitchen. But whatever our brand new Whirlpool fridge arrived today, thank you very much.
I’m off gallivanting for the next two weekends, but hope to get Christmas in July posts started in…you guessed it…July. Not every day in July but hopefully several
In good news, my relatives did come over this past weekend and they managed to correct something that was a huge stressor in my life right now. Yay!
But as I stated above, I now am sick. Ah well. Such is life.
We’re making progress on unpacking our kitchen stuff that was in storage for 6 months. Yay!
Over the weekend I thought of yet another idea for a Spirk story. Haven’t even written one word on it but I will. It’s got another hint of a fairytale but that’s all I can say right now.
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 