Not for everyone. I recognize that. Some people live long, long lives, like Norman Lear who turned 100 this past July. Some people live longer than they want to in pain, suffering for it. I get that.


I have this former co-worker. I am friends with her on social media only now as a few years back she moved to Florida with her mother to be closer to her brother’s family. Her dad had passed away a few years before and due to some injuries my former co worker had, she had stopped working. I’ll call her “Beth”.

Originally Beth and her family were from New York. They were a traditional Jewish family that attended Temple. Beth moved to California with her then husband, who I will call “Ben”. Ben was an accountant and a pretty good one so he moved to California to be part of a pretty well-known accounting firm.

Beth took a job with the insurance company I worked for at the time. She was a secretary to one of the attorneys.

Unfortunately for Beth and Ben they moved here in late 1993. On January 17, 1994 we had a significant quake that did a lot of damage to the condo they were living in. Beth wanted nothing more than to return to New York.

Anyway, eventually, Beth loved California. I am not kidding. LOVED. It devastated her later when she left and to this day she posts about how much she misses it.

Beth’s parents decided to leave New York (and her brother) to move to California too to be closer to their beloved daughter.

Beth and Ben had a daughter, “June”, and not long after that, they ended up divorcing. After years of living in California with her daughter and her devoted parents, Beth’s father died unexpectedly of a heart attack.

It was only a few years after that, Beth, her daughter, and her mother moved to Florida to start a new life. Beth’s brother, divorced with a son himself, also had moved to Florida.

Years have past.

June is an adult now and starting a life of her own. Beth met a new man and recently married him this past August. They are very happy together.

I never knew Beth’s brother, Oscar, other than through social media posts Beth did and posts he did that tagged her. They were a loving, close-nit family. I always enjoyed their posts about their summer pool parties, their holidays, etc.

Earlier this summer Oscar married again to a woman he had been seeing. I loved their wedding pictures. And Beth’s and her new husband.

Two days ago, Oscar died on the way to the hospital of a massive widow maker heart attack. In front of his new wife. He was just 62 years old. This has hit me unexpectedly hard.

M’s dad died at age 55 of a widow maker. My dad’s best friend had that same heart attack at 56. I am way too familiar with it. So someone who was full of life just hours before is gone like that. And it troubles me and makes me quite sad.

My dad died at 69. To me that was way too soon. 30 years ago. My mother lived basically 29 years without the love of her life. I miss him every damn day. Every day.

So for Oscar, yes life was short.

Some people do not fear death. I do. I fear it for myself. And I fear losing more of those I feel I cannot live without. Yet it happens. And there is noting any of us can do.