a bit of silly humor

“Bones! Hide me.”

Leonard looked up from the ensign who’s sprained his arm. “Busy.”

“Well…shit.” He dashed into Leonard’s office and shut the door.

He shook his head. “Now that should be good as new in about an hour. Take it easy the rest of the day, but you should be good for tomorrow’s shift.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Ensign Dugan slid off the biobed and out the door.

With a sigh, Leonard went to his office.

“Jim, what the hell? Who are you hiding from now?”


Leonard smirked. “What did you do to him?”

“Nothing! I just…” He mumbled.

“What? Jim, speak up. It sounded like you said…I had beans.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “I did. I had beans and now I have terrible gas and we were supposed to see each other and I can’t.”

Leonard laughed. It started off as a slight chuckle and became a belly laugh.

“Bones, this is not funny.”

“It so is. So what do you want me to do? Tell him you aren’t home?”

“Tell him…I’ve taken ill and have to spend the night alone in my quarters with absolutely no visitors.”

Leonard snorted. “Think that’ll work? I can hear him now. ‘The Captain knows I am no ordinary visitor’.

Bones. Please. It took me forever to get his attention. I can’t ruin everything because of gas.”

“I’m pretty sure Spock can handle it, but okay, Jim. I’ll tell him.”

Jim blew out a breath.


The comm outside Jim’s quarters buzzed.

Jim swore. “Yeah?”


“Yeah, Spock?”

“The doctor says you are ill.”

“That’s right.” Jim coughed. “Feel terrible. Have to, uh, see you tomorrow.”

“But if you need assistance…”

“No! I don’t. Need. Assistance. I’ll be fine, Spock. Tomorrow.”

A long pause.

Jim bit his lip, feeling the gas coming on again.

“Very well, Captain. Have a good night and sleep well.”

“You too.”

“And Jim?”


“No beans tomorrow.”