So I have learned something or decided something, I don’t know which.
But, I am never going to live up to the expectations of readers. There is always going to be someone who wants me to update a work in progress faster, always someone who wants me to write the story the way they want it done, etc. I am not going to be able to finish every story I start to someone’s exacting satisfaction.
There are people who likely become discouraged when I post something new rather than update something they want me to finish and that’s a valid feeling, but I have to do what I must do. I will continue updating as I do, by either spreadsheet or whim, because something calls to me, and I will either have people who want to read it or I will not.
The alternative to me writing and updating as is a personal experience for me is for me to quit altogether because there’s too much pressure or anger or disappointment in me. And I am frankly too old to feel miserable over writing something that is fun for me.
Over the past year there are several projects that I ended up deleting because I either felt pressure about them, lost the enthusiasm, or didn’t get the reaction I hoped for. I don’t like deleting stories I have created, because they are so personal. But on the other hand I don’t want to work on something neither me nor a reader is getting anything out of. I try to make this a rare occurrence but it does and has happened.
With the current WIPS I have going, I have no intention of deleting any of them.
I do have a Christmas story in the works and I also need to do an Old Married Spirk story at some point before November, so yes, more as yet unposted stories are coming from me. If you feel like reading my unfinished stories as I update them, I am grateful. If not, then that’s all right too.
I used to work so so hard to get people to like me and to be popular, I’d put aside everything in my own life to write write write. Because I thought that’s the only way I could do it. And sure, my work is definitely more appreciated than it was when I started, and I’m happy for that, but there will always be creators of fanfiction more appreciated than me, no matter what I do, and so I need to let that go. I’ll never be number one. That’s okay.
I’m working on finishing False Memories, hopefully to post tomorrow, as I won’t get a chance to this weekend. The Love of a Lifetime continues tomorrow. After False Memories, I still hope to write the next chapter of Bonding (the story here on the blog only at this point), and then move on to Where My Demons Hide. But neither of those will make it until next week.
Thank you for your continued support and understanding. I love my followers here, you are all my friends now, I like to think.