Don’t really know what that has to do with my post, I’m just a Star Trek nerd.
Sometimes I feel like this:
Or maybe this:
I love December and the holidays involved with it. But it is not without its stresses and also its sad moments. A couple of people I was very close to had birthdays in December and each year that passes with them no longer with us I cannot help but feel that heartbreak.
Neither died during December but their births remind me even though both have been gone several years now.
One was born on December 12, which has now already passed for the year, and though I won’t go into details of the significance or even the identity of this person, there is a particular Christmas song that reminds me, Augie Rios’ Donde Esta Santa Claus. For a long time I was unable to get this version, which is the one that I remember my loved one for. Then a few years back on December 12th, I was sitting in my car waiting at the train station when the radio station I was listening to played this song and that version. To this day I remember sitting there with tears streaming down my face.
I do not believe in God, have not for a very long time, but to say that was a freakish coincidence is putting it lightly.
Now, I own this song and play it at least once on the 12th, and other times too.
The other was born on the 18th, a week before Christmas. She has been gone fewer years than the other but her absence is also keenly felt.
And others, too. Each year sees changes in our holidays, absences that cannot be overlooked. And I feel that more as I get older. Your mortality hits you hard at some point.
Last night was not a good night for me. I spent the night in severe pain on my left side from a bad arthritic attack and no matter how I tried I could not get comfortable. Losing loved ones and living with pain is something you learn to get used to as you age, I guess. But all I know is that time is marching on and will eventually leave me behind.
Tomorrow, Saturday, I intend to do a lot of Christmas shopping. I want to finish everything. I have a good start but tomorrow it will be over, if I have anything to say about it. I admit I have gone way overboard this year. I just feel the need to. My credit cards will not thank me later.
And since more and more holiday stuff is coming up, I am beginning to think I have bitten off far more than I can chew with regard to my holiday stories. Should have learned to leave well enough alone.
I have no more time off from work coming up other than the regular holidays of December 26 (for Christmas) and January 02 (for New Year’s). I decided to let co-workers take the holiday time to be with their families. And I have a ton of work to do, as always.
Anyway, I am working on the next chapter of I Heard the Bells. Should be up tomorrow before I go marathon shopping.
December 16, 2016 at 2:26 pm
All the hugs. It’s definitely a hard time. Despite all the joys of the season.
Overboard is half the fun of Christmas! 😀
Looking forward to the next chapter.
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December 16, 2016 at 5:09 pm
It is the fun of Christmas and I have had fun spoiling people
It is a hard time mixed with joy
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December 16, 2016 at 4:37 pm
Overboard on Christmas is good when it’s heartfelt and you sound like a hearfelt person who really is a good friend to them.
I am sorry for your loss of close friends. For me it’s hard seeing my Mom without my Dad. She loved him dispite his flaws and he did change and become a better man.
I miss my little girl Makayla every December..my baby girl this December she would have been 8 yrs old.
Hope you are feeling better soon.
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December 16, 2016 at 5:11 pm
Well I enjoy buying stuff for people. It’s true. I enjoy writing stuff people like to read to. I think I am Sally Field. You Like Me You Like Me
Hugs to you for your losses too. It never gets easier IMO no matter what they say
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December 16, 2016 at 5:12 pm
I’m sorry for your losses and remembering them this time of year. Its tough. I’ve had the same address book for several years and when I go to write Christmas cards I pass over my dad’s address and get sad that I can’t send him one anymore or just call him. I’m also sorry about your pain last night. As I live with someone who is older (although you are nowhere as old as my grandmother) she experiences diff types of pain and discomfort at night and will occasionally wake me up yelling for me to get her a Tylenol or something to help her. I hope you have a better night tonight!
Have fun marathon shopping tomorrow! Hope you get everything you need! Sadie will be getting her pic taken with Santa so I’ll send you the pic 🙂
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December 16, 2016 at 5:28 pm
I don’t know about your grandma, but in my case I didn’t take care of myself properly in my youth and I’m paying for it now. Plus the human body just eventually gives out.
I am sure I will have fun. I look forward to seeing it
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December 16, 2016 at 5:35 pm
I am lucky if I can get four hours sleep, I have floating rib syndrome which is painful and arthritis in my knees. I have good days and bad days, the yoga helps me though. I hope I can last though, been a diabetic for over 28 years. I get tired of injecting 5 shots a day of insulin.
Have fun on your marathon shopping tomorrow. I’ll be working on paintings Saturday after work.
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December 21, 2016 at 11:14 am
Christmas is, I think, the most difficult time of year for most people as we age because it’s the time of year we miss those who have gone before us, which makes us think of our own mortality. That’s most especially true when we are experiencing pain. However, that is the process of living and loving.
There is no such thing as a coincidence! We call experiences into our lives, good and bad. It may be hard to swallow, but there it is.
Going overboard on presents is something I haven’t done since I left my husband! My bank account is very happy about that. In our family we decided years ago that we adults didn’t need gifts anymore. So my last gifts were in 2006, the last year my father was with me.
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